How to Help Yourself
Encourage your positive feelings., Locate your happiness., Set goals meaningful to you., Show yourself the world., Practice gratitude.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Encourage your positive feelings.
Notice when you feel good, and feel good about that.
The more you dwell in your positivity, the happier and more resilient you will feel.
Rather than trying to force happiness to appear, cultivate in yourself a sense of wellbeing, strength, and connectedness.
Affirm the positive thoughts that come to you.
Say them out loud or write them down to increase their resonance. "The sunshine feels good on my skin." "I'm proud of myself for doing the dishes." At the end of the day, review the things that you enjoyed.
List three things that brought you pleasure.
Positive emotion helps you repair from trauma and hardship, and builds resilience for hard times to come. -
Step 2: Locate your happiness.
We humans are famously bad at guessing the things that make us happy.
Pursuit of power, wealth, and fame rarely pay off in personal satisfaction.
Stress can induce us to replace our pleasures with coping mechanisms.
Time in which you are being entertained or praised will not necessarily be your happiest time.
Before you set your goals, spend some time tracking your joy.
Try keeping a diary during an ordinary week, and checking in with yourself a few times a day.
What activities bring on contentment? What do they have in common?Notice where you are when you are happy, and what your body is doing.
Are you outside? In motion? Are you alone, or in company? What time of day is it? , Once you have identified some of the things that bring you contentment, ask yourself what they have in common.
What kind of activities can you really sink into? When do you feel like you are doing your best work, or being your best self? Set goals that will help you achieve greater engagement during your daily activities.For example, if you felt happiest while walking your dog, waiting for the bus, and watering the lawn, your goal might be to spend more time outside.
If you felt happiest helping out a colleague at work and making dinner with your partner, your new goal might be to find another activity in which you are helping others. , Focus on gaining experiences rather than possessions.
Spend your extra money on traveling and learning new things.
Cultivating memories will leave you with a stronger sense of being alive than acquiring objects.
Learning new things will keep your mind strong into your old age, and can introduce new joys into your routine.
Developing a hobby can be an excellent reminder to take time off without switching yourself off.Volunteer with an organization you believe in to increase your sense of connectedness and usefulness.
Save your extra money for social spending and gifts for others.
Take your friend out to dinner, or buy a nice bottle of wine for the host of a dinner party.
Set learning goals for yourself.
Take language lessons, and take a trip to a country that speaks that language at the year's end.
Take cooking lessons, and throw a party with food you've made. , Wanting what you have will make you happier than casting around for other options.
Change can be stimulating, but investing your attention in the people and places you love contributes more to your overall happiness.
Examine what you have, and appreciate it.
Make a list of things you are grateful for, and share it with those you love.
Treasure the people in your life.
Helping yourself doesn't mean isolating yourself.
Take the time to tell your friends and family that you love them, and tell them what you appreciate about them.
If you feel you express yourself best in writing, make up a list of people you are grateful for, and write a letter a day. -
Step 3: Set goals meaningful to you.
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Step 4: Show yourself the world.
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Step 5: Practice gratitude.
Detailed Guide
Notice when you feel good, and feel good about that.
The more you dwell in your positivity, the happier and more resilient you will feel.
Rather than trying to force happiness to appear, cultivate in yourself a sense of wellbeing, strength, and connectedness.
Affirm the positive thoughts that come to you.
Say them out loud or write them down to increase their resonance. "The sunshine feels good on my skin." "I'm proud of myself for doing the dishes." At the end of the day, review the things that you enjoyed.
List three things that brought you pleasure.
Positive emotion helps you repair from trauma and hardship, and builds resilience for hard times to come.
We humans are famously bad at guessing the things that make us happy.
Pursuit of power, wealth, and fame rarely pay off in personal satisfaction.
Stress can induce us to replace our pleasures with coping mechanisms.
Time in which you are being entertained or praised will not necessarily be your happiest time.
Before you set your goals, spend some time tracking your joy.
Try keeping a diary during an ordinary week, and checking in with yourself a few times a day.
What activities bring on contentment? What do they have in common?Notice where you are when you are happy, and what your body is doing.
Are you outside? In motion? Are you alone, or in company? What time of day is it? , Once you have identified some of the things that bring you contentment, ask yourself what they have in common.
What kind of activities can you really sink into? When do you feel like you are doing your best work, or being your best self? Set goals that will help you achieve greater engagement during your daily activities.For example, if you felt happiest while walking your dog, waiting for the bus, and watering the lawn, your goal might be to spend more time outside.
If you felt happiest helping out a colleague at work and making dinner with your partner, your new goal might be to find another activity in which you are helping others. , Focus on gaining experiences rather than possessions.
Spend your extra money on traveling and learning new things.
Cultivating memories will leave you with a stronger sense of being alive than acquiring objects.
Learning new things will keep your mind strong into your old age, and can introduce new joys into your routine.
Developing a hobby can be an excellent reminder to take time off without switching yourself off.Volunteer with an organization you believe in to increase your sense of connectedness and usefulness.
Save your extra money for social spending and gifts for others.
Take your friend out to dinner, or buy a nice bottle of wine for the host of a dinner party.
Set learning goals for yourself.
Take language lessons, and take a trip to a country that speaks that language at the year's end.
Take cooking lessons, and throw a party with food you've made. , Wanting what you have will make you happier than casting around for other options.
Change can be stimulating, but investing your attention in the people and places you love contributes more to your overall happiness.
Examine what you have, and appreciate it.
Make a list of things you are grateful for, and share it with those you love.
Treasure the people in your life.
Helping yourself doesn't mean isolating yourself.
Take the time to tell your friends and family that you love them, and tell them what you appreciate about them.
If you feel you express yourself best in writing, make up a list of people you are grateful for, and write a letter a day.
About the Author
Margaret Hughes
Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in cooking and beyond.
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