How to Insult Somebody Creatively

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Think before reacting.

   If you insult someone without taking a moment to gather your wits, you'll probably just be plain defensive or come across as confused.
   
   When you insult them, take a small amount of time to think about it.
   
   Not too much or they'll catch on, but a long pause is just fine.
   
   If you're short on ideas use a previous insult and modify it.
   
   Chances are, they won't catch it.
   
   Take a few deep breaths (draw your breath in noisily if it helps), concentrate on what needs to be said and draw on your pre-rehearsed comebacks (see step 2).
2. 2

   Step 2: Think up insults in your free time.

   Think up appropriate ways to insult the different people who might insult you.
   
   If you have a starting point, the rest will come easier. ,, Instead, just smile and laugh it off.
   
   It will make the person wonder what they're doing wrong. , or any other variants such as "That's what she said!" You can use "your mom" jokes to make them be quiet when they are coming up with a comeback to stop them, but they're not creative and people have become used to ignoring them. , If you then talk about how their insult would apply to them more than you, they are removed of this crucial power and you have pointed out that which is evident––they're projecting their insecurities onto you. , If they come up with a comeback, chuckle a bit say, "It's a bit too late for sarcasm, but thank you." You must remain grounded in your apparent idea that they were complimenting you, they won't believe it, but it will make it harder for them to insult you effectively. , Once again, it is all about removing their power and therefore increasing yours. , If so, interrupt them and pick apart their insults. , Frustration is the equivalent of an arm bar in martial arts, you haven't won yet, but you're about to. this point is critical.
   
   You have the choice to either apologize at this point or continue and send them into a swearing or crying wreck.
   
   You need to feel when they're frustrated.
3. 3

   Step 3: If you don't take their insults seriously

4. 4

   Step 4: they won't be able to insult you seriously.

5. 5

   Step 5: Don't react.

6. 6

   Step 6: Don't swear or resort to "Your mom!"

7. 7

   Step 7: If you have a point of pride

8. 8

   Step 8: and they tried to hit it

9. 9

   Step 9: realize that it is because of their insecurities.

10. 10

    Step 10: Find their points of pride and insult them on it.

11. 11

    Step 11: If you do catch a flaw in their argument

12. 12

    Step 12: point it out and mock them for it.

13. 13

    Step 13: If you stop them from insulting you

14. 14

    Step 14: they will get frustrated and try harder.

15. 15

    Step 15: If they are frustrated

16. 16

    Step 16: you have essentially won.

Detailed Guide

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