How to Keep Unwanted Feelings Away
Identify your feelings., Determine your triggers., Accept your feelings.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Identify your feelings.
The first step to deal with your unwanted feelings is to identify exactly what you are feeling.
Ask yourself, what am I feeling? Are you angry, sad, jealous, hurt, frustrated, disappointed? Write down your feelings in a journal.
Keep in mind that anger is usually a secondary emotion that is covering up something else.
If you feel anger, the underlying emotion may be hurt, shame, or fear.
Noticing how your body reacts (e.g. heart racing, dry mouth, clenched teeth, tense shoulders, etc.) can also help you identify your feelings.
For example, a racing heart and fast breathing could indicate that you are angry. -
Step 2: Determine your triggers.
Once you know what you are feeling, begin to examine how you arrived at that emotion.
What were you doing? Who were you with? Where were you when you began to feel this way? For example, if you feel jealous, you would ask yourself some specific questions about your jealousy.
Were you around someone that made you feel inadequate? Did your partner make a comment about how attractive another person was? Did you watch something on television? Your emotions can also be triggered by certain thoughts or memories you may have.
If you begin to have a feeling without any external trigger, your thoughts may be affecting your emotions. , Even though your feelings are unwanted, you do not have to be controlled or defined by them.
Acknowledge that your feelings are natural and real, but you can choose how you deal with them.
Tell yourself, "I accept that I am feeling ____ in this moment."Remind yourself that you are well equipped to deal with your emotions.
Tell yourself, "I am strong, capable, and can handle this feeling." Think about a time you have experienced this feeling before and handled it in the past.
It is important to accept and acknowledge your feelings.
Suppressing your feelings will actually cause you to experience them even more. -
Step 3: Accept your feelings.
Detailed Guide
The first step to deal with your unwanted feelings is to identify exactly what you are feeling.
Ask yourself, what am I feeling? Are you angry, sad, jealous, hurt, frustrated, disappointed? Write down your feelings in a journal.
Keep in mind that anger is usually a secondary emotion that is covering up something else.
If you feel anger, the underlying emotion may be hurt, shame, or fear.
Noticing how your body reacts (e.g. heart racing, dry mouth, clenched teeth, tense shoulders, etc.) can also help you identify your feelings.
For example, a racing heart and fast breathing could indicate that you are angry.
Once you know what you are feeling, begin to examine how you arrived at that emotion.
What were you doing? Who were you with? Where were you when you began to feel this way? For example, if you feel jealous, you would ask yourself some specific questions about your jealousy.
Were you around someone that made you feel inadequate? Did your partner make a comment about how attractive another person was? Did you watch something on television? Your emotions can also be triggered by certain thoughts or memories you may have.
If you begin to have a feeling without any external trigger, your thoughts may be affecting your emotions. , Even though your feelings are unwanted, you do not have to be controlled or defined by them.
Acknowledge that your feelings are natural and real, but you can choose how you deal with them.
Tell yourself, "I accept that I am feeling ____ in this moment."Remind yourself that you are well equipped to deal with your emotions.
Tell yourself, "I am strong, capable, and can handle this feeling." Think about a time you have experienced this feeling before and handled it in the past.
It is important to accept and acknowledge your feelings.
Suppressing your feelings will actually cause you to experience them even more.
About the Author
Scott Gray
Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in DIY projects and beyond.
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