How to Know if You Are Asexual
Accept your position., Take time to learn about asexuality., Recognize the difference between romantic orientation and sexual orientation., Know the difference between aesthetic attraction and sexual attraction., Consider how you feel about sex...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Accept your position.
It is important to not try to conform to any social norms in the realms of sexuality, and to not try to change yourself.
Accept what and how you feel as a part of you, and have confidence in yourself.
It is not wrong or disordered to be disinterested in sex.
It is okay to go through a period of uncertainty and questioning.
You have no obligations.
A man does not need to feel sexual desire; a disabled person is not obligated to be sexual in order to break the stereotype of disabled people being asexual. -
Step 2: Take time to learn about asexuality.
Go to AVEN, read stories of when asexual people realized that they were asexual, and evaluate whether their words align with your experiences. , Asexual people can still feel romantic attraction—wanting to hold hands, cuddle, talk, make each other breakfast, perhaps kiss, et cetera.
Asexual people are capable of forming deep, lasting romantic bonds.
However, their romantic desires are not accompanied by a desire to have sex.
Many asexual people are panromantic—they can fall in love with anyone, regardless of gender.
They can also be homoromantic, heteroromantic, biromantic, etc.
Some asexual people are aromantic, meaning that they only form loving relationships with friends and families. , Aesthetic attraction is simply recognizing that someone has a nice face, smile, figure, etc.
There is no desire to act on it.
Sexual attraction means appreciating someone's body and wanting to engage in sexual acts with them.
In a nutshell:
Aesthetic attraction: "She has nice lips.
It's very appealing to look at her." Sexual attraction: "She has nice lips.
I want to kiss them and do things with her that are usually reserved for a bedroom."
Asexual may feel disinterested, indifferent, or even disgusted towards sex.
Some asexual people never need to have sex in order to know; others try it and find that they don't like it much; some only do it because their partner likes it.
Do you think sex is okay, but not very interesting or important? Would you prefer not to have sex in general? Are you grossed out by sex? , These are similar to asexuality, but a little more loose.
Gray asexuality means rarely (but sometimes) having sexual attraction or sexual urges.
Demisexuality is only feeling sexual attraction to people whom you have romantically bonded to. (Photos of men's chests do not arouse you, but your husband's chest does.) , Some people instinctively know their sexuality early on; others discover it after years of reflection and experimentation. (Sexuality may change over time too.) Recognize that there is no deadline for determining your sexuality, and it's okay not to know. -
Step 3: Recognize the difference between romantic orientation and sexual orientation.
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Step 4: Know the difference between aesthetic attraction and sexual attraction.
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Step 5: Consider how you feel about sex.
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Step 6: Consider the possibility that you are gray-asexual or demisexual.
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Step 7: Give it time.
Detailed Guide
It is important to not try to conform to any social norms in the realms of sexuality, and to not try to change yourself.
Accept what and how you feel as a part of you, and have confidence in yourself.
It is not wrong or disordered to be disinterested in sex.
It is okay to go through a period of uncertainty and questioning.
You have no obligations.
A man does not need to feel sexual desire; a disabled person is not obligated to be sexual in order to break the stereotype of disabled people being asexual.
Go to AVEN, read stories of when asexual people realized that they were asexual, and evaluate whether their words align with your experiences. , Asexual people can still feel romantic attraction—wanting to hold hands, cuddle, talk, make each other breakfast, perhaps kiss, et cetera.
Asexual people are capable of forming deep, lasting romantic bonds.
However, their romantic desires are not accompanied by a desire to have sex.
Many asexual people are panromantic—they can fall in love with anyone, regardless of gender.
They can also be homoromantic, heteroromantic, biromantic, etc.
Some asexual people are aromantic, meaning that they only form loving relationships with friends and families. , Aesthetic attraction is simply recognizing that someone has a nice face, smile, figure, etc.
There is no desire to act on it.
Sexual attraction means appreciating someone's body and wanting to engage in sexual acts with them.
In a nutshell:
Aesthetic attraction: "She has nice lips.
It's very appealing to look at her." Sexual attraction: "She has nice lips.
I want to kiss them and do things with her that are usually reserved for a bedroom."
Asexual may feel disinterested, indifferent, or even disgusted towards sex.
Some asexual people never need to have sex in order to know; others try it and find that they don't like it much; some only do it because their partner likes it.
Do you think sex is okay, but not very interesting or important? Would you prefer not to have sex in general? Are you grossed out by sex? , These are similar to asexuality, but a little more loose.
Gray asexuality means rarely (but sometimes) having sexual attraction or sexual urges.
Demisexuality is only feeling sexual attraction to people whom you have romantically bonded to. (Photos of men's chests do not arouse you, but your husband's chest does.) , Some people instinctively know their sexuality early on; others discover it after years of reflection and experimentation. (Sexuality may change over time too.) Recognize that there is no deadline for determining your sexuality, and it's okay not to know.
About the Author
Jacob Ortiz
Specializes in breaking down complex crafts topics into simple steps.
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