How to Know Whether You're Insensitive
Ask yourself, "Do I really care?", Monitor how people respond to you., Consider how you behave.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Ask yourself
One of the main traits of insensitive people is a lack of empathy.
While empathy exists in varying degrees, and some people are simply more sensitive than others, having very little empathy can make you come off as cold or uncaring.
There are two types of empathy: cognitive empathy and emotional empathy.
Cognitive empathy involves the ability to logically understand someone else's perspective by seeing things from their point of view.
You may not have a strong emotional reaction to another person's perspective, but you will at least understand it to a degree.
Emotional empathy involves being able to pick up on the emotions of others.
If someone gets bad news, for example, you will feel sad.Consider whether you possess either types of empathy.
Do you try to understand another person's point of view when they're explaining something to you? Do you make a conscious effort to ask questions, understand information, and listen? When another person is sad or frustrated, do you experience the same emotions? Can you easily pick up on how a person is feeling? If a friend or co-worker looked upset, would you feel compelled to ask them what's wrong?Oftentimes, insensitive people are simply not tuned in to the needs and emotions of others.
Consider how often you actively try to understand the perspective of another person.
If you spend the bulk of your time thinking about yourself, you may be insensitive. -
Step 2: "Do I really care?"
People tend to be put off by insensitive people.
You can often tell if you're insensitive by observing how others tend to respond to you.
When you're in a social situation, do people initiate conversation with you? If you're the one usually starting a conversation, people might be wary to talk to you because of the way you're coming off.
Do people want to remain engaged in conversation with you or do people tend to make excuses to leave? Do people tend to laugh at your jokes? Oftentimes, insensitive people make jokes that come off the wrong way to others.
If people do not laugh, or only offer quiet and somewhat uncomfortable laughter, you may be insensitive.
Do people seek you out when they're in need? If you're an insensitive person, others might be wary to ask for your help and open up to you about their problems.
If you're consistently the last person in a group to hear about, say, a friend's divorce or a family member's job loss, it may be because you consistently say the wrong things in these situations.
This is a sign of insensitivity.
Has anyone ever outright told you you're insensitive? While it might seem obvious, many people disregard such criticisms as the result of the hypersensitivity of others.
However, if someone's made the point to call you out on your behavior, or if multiple people have, you may be insensitive. , Insensitive behaviors vary from person to person.
However, certain identifiable behaviors are generally considered rude or crass.
You may be an insensitive person if you've ever engaged in any of the following:
Talking about a topic that bores others or that others do not understand.
For example, going on about the details of your PhD if you know others in the room have no understanding of the subject matter.Sharing opinions at inappropriate times, such as complaining loudly about the obesity epidemic in front of a co-worker you know is struggling with his weight.Bringing up topics inappropriate for the audience or group, such as telling stories of recreational drug use in front of your significant other's parents.Getting annoyed if someone does not understand a topic you're explaining.Passing judgments on others for their mistakes or circumstances without considering their background or personal struggles.Being rude and demanding to serving staff at restaurants.Being too blunt or critical of others.
For example, if you dislike an item of clothing on someone you might say, "You look fat in that" rather than avoiding commenting altogether or offering more tactful advice, like, "I think a different color would flatter your features more." -
Step 3: Monitor how people respond to you.
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Step 4: Consider how you behave.
Detailed Guide
One of the main traits of insensitive people is a lack of empathy.
While empathy exists in varying degrees, and some people are simply more sensitive than others, having very little empathy can make you come off as cold or uncaring.
There are two types of empathy: cognitive empathy and emotional empathy.
Cognitive empathy involves the ability to logically understand someone else's perspective by seeing things from their point of view.
You may not have a strong emotional reaction to another person's perspective, but you will at least understand it to a degree.
Emotional empathy involves being able to pick up on the emotions of others.
If someone gets bad news, for example, you will feel sad.Consider whether you possess either types of empathy.
Do you try to understand another person's point of view when they're explaining something to you? Do you make a conscious effort to ask questions, understand information, and listen? When another person is sad or frustrated, do you experience the same emotions? Can you easily pick up on how a person is feeling? If a friend or co-worker looked upset, would you feel compelled to ask them what's wrong?Oftentimes, insensitive people are simply not tuned in to the needs and emotions of others.
Consider how often you actively try to understand the perspective of another person.
If you spend the bulk of your time thinking about yourself, you may be insensitive.
People tend to be put off by insensitive people.
You can often tell if you're insensitive by observing how others tend to respond to you.
When you're in a social situation, do people initiate conversation with you? If you're the one usually starting a conversation, people might be wary to talk to you because of the way you're coming off.
Do people want to remain engaged in conversation with you or do people tend to make excuses to leave? Do people tend to laugh at your jokes? Oftentimes, insensitive people make jokes that come off the wrong way to others.
If people do not laugh, or only offer quiet and somewhat uncomfortable laughter, you may be insensitive.
Do people seek you out when they're in need? If you're an insensitive person, others might be wary to ask for your help and open up to you about their problems.
If you're consistently the last person in a group to hear about, say, a friend's divorce or a family member's job loss, it may be because you consistently say the wrong things in these situations.
This is a sign of insensitivity.
Has anyone ever outright told you you're insensitive? While it might seem obvious, many people disregard such criticisms as the result of the hypersensitivity of others.
However, if someone's made the point to call you out on your behavior, or if multiple people have, you may be insensitive. , Insensitive behaviors vary from person to person.
However, certain identifiable behaviors are generally considered rude or crass.
You may be an insensitive person if you've ever engaged in any of the following:
Talking about a topic that bores others or that others do not understand.
For example, going on about the details of your PhD if you know others in the room have no understanding of the subject matter.Sharing opinions at inappropriate times, such as complaining loudly about the obesity epidemic in front of a co-worker you know is struggling with his weight.Bringing up topics inappropriate for the audience or group, such as telling stories of recreational drug use in front of your significant other's parents.Getting annoyed if someone does not understand a topic you're explaining.Passing judgments on others for their mistakes or circumstances without considering their background or personal struggles.Being rude and demanding to serving staff at restaurants.Being too blunt or critical of others.
For example, if you dislike an item of clothing on someone you might say, "You look fat in that" rather than avoiding commenting altogether or offering more tactful advice, like, "I think a different color would flatter your features more."
About the Author
James Webb
Writer and educator with a focus on practical cooking knowledge.
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