How to Know You're Not Alone
Fight the urge to isolate yourself., Find new people and places., Connect with other people like you., Be friendly and compassionate toward others.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Fight the urge to isolate yourself.
Loneliness can be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You feel like you don’t fit in or belong, or that no one cares.
In response, you close yourself off from the world, which in turn reinforces your loneliness.
You have to identify and combat this urge by getting up and going out — somewhere, anywhere.Do not stay home alone for hours or days on end.
Get a dog so you have to go outside several times a day.
Walk to buy a newspaper or a snack every afternoon.
Go to the mall even if you don’t need to buy anything.
Loneliness, like happiness, is not an environmental factor, but within you.
That said, physically isolating yourself can reinforce and vindicate the feeling that you are all alone. -
Step 2: Find new people and places.
Getting out of the house is a start, but going to the same places, following the same routines, and seeing the same people may not be enough to overcome your loneliness.
Sometimes you need to “shake things up” a bit in order to truly recognize that there are plenty of people like (and wonderfully unlike) you out there.Walk, drive, or even better, take public transportation to some place you’ve never been to before.
Explore these new surroundings.
Find new people in these “exotic” surroundings.
Be outgoing.
Introduce yourself.
Be confident and polite.
Think of it as taking a little vacation from your normal self. , The internet has made it easier than ever to connect with people all over the world, and yet at the same time can make us feel lonelier than ever.
Use the power of technology to find people that share your interests, challenges, or quirks, but rely on good old face-to-face contact to prove that you’re far from alone in this world.Do you struggle with body image issues? Do you love to discuss French cinema? Are you a middle-aged man who is secretly a big Justin Bieber fan? Would you love to have the nerve to take a no-pants subway ride with a bunch of strangers?No matter what, there are people like you out there.
Prioritize face-to-face connections with other people whenever possible, like joining a bird-watching club or taking an Italian cooking class.
Experiencing your human connections only through social media limits the immediacy and can foster a competitive / comparative perspective (in which you seem to always be doing less, or less exciting things, than everyone else). , Each of us gets to decide whether we will approach other people with suspicion, fear, and doubt, or with hope, positivity, and pleasantness.
In other words, we choose whether to greet the world with a smile or a scowl.
Choosing to be kind, generous, and helpful toward other people makes it far more difficult to feel all alone.
Making someone else’s life a little bit better proves that you exist and have value.Volunteer in your community.
Help others in need.
See what kind of difference you and your small acts of kindness can make.
Smile! There are millions of people in the world, and nearly all of them would be happy to see your smile.
Lift your chin up.
Be a bit more carefree.
Worry less about what others will think of you, and more about how you can brighten their days for a moment. -
Step 3: Connect with other people like you.
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Step 4: Be friendly and compassionate toward others.
Detailed Guide
Loneliness can be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You feel like you don’t fit in or belong, or that no one cares.
In response, you close yourself off from the world, which in turn reinforces your loneliness.
You have to identify and combat this urge by getting up and going out — somewhere, anywhere.Do not stay home alone for hours or days on end.
Get a dog so you have to go outside several times a day.
Walk to buy a newspaper or a snack every afternoon.
Go to the mall even if you don’t need to buy anything.
Loneliness, like happiness, is not an environmental factor, but within you.
That said, physically isolating yourself can reinforce and vindicate the feeling that you are all alone.
Getting out of the house is a start, but going to the same places, following the same routines, and seeing the same people may not be enough to overcome your loneliness.
Sometimes you need to “shake things up” a bit in order to truly recognize that there are plenty of people like (and wonderfully unlike) you out there.Walk, drive, or even better, take public transportation to some place you’ve never been to before.
Explore these new surroundings.
Find new people in these “exotic” surroundings.
Be outgoing.
Introduce yourself.
Be confident and polite.
Think of it as taking a little vacation from your normal self. , The internet has made it easier than ever to connect with people all over the world, and yet at the same time can make us feel lonelier than ever.
Use the power of technology to find people that share your interests, challenges, or quirks, but rely on good old face-to-face contact to prove that you’re far from alone in this world.Do you struggle with body image issues? Do you love to discuss French cinema? Are you a middle-aged man who is secretly a big Justin Bieber fan? Would you love to have the nerve to take a no-pants subway ride with a bunch of strangers?No matter what, there are people like you out there.
Prioritize face-to-face connections with other people whenever possible, like joining a bird-watching club or taking an Italian cooking class.
Experiencing your human connections only through social media limits the immediacy and can foster a competitive / comparative perspective (in which you seem to always be doing less, or less exciting things, than everyone else). , Each of us gets to decide whether we will approach other people with suspicion, fear, and doubt, or with hope, positivity, and pleasantness.
In other words, we choose whether to greet the world with a smile or a scowl.
Choosing to be kind, generous, and helpful toward other people makes it far more difficult to feel all alone.
Making someone else’s life a little bit better proves that you exist and have value.Volunteer in your community.
Help others in need.
See what kind of difference you and your small acts of kindness can make.
Smile! There are millions of people in the world, and nearly all of them would be happy to see your smile.
Lift your chin up.
Be a bit more carefree.
Worry less about what others will think of you, and more about how you can brighten their days for a moment.
About the Author
Brittany Hayes
Writer and educator with a focus on practical organization knowledge.
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