How to Know Your Warning Signs Before Becoming Abusive
Learn the warning signs., Once you learn to spot the warning signs, you will want to learn to cope with abusive behaviour by replacing it with another behavior which is more positive and healthier. , In some cases you may even need to remove...
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Learn the warning signs.
Warning signs can come in many different ways to let you know if you are being abusive towards your partner.
If you pay attention to internal and external cues you may be able to stop the abuse before it happens. ,, The real goal is to be able to make a positive choice in difficult situation with your partner.
This will take time and conscious practice.
Warning signs to abuse consists of four different areas:
Thoughts/Thinking Patterns – Ways in which we think about situations and/or people in general.
Feelings – You may experience a whole range of feelings when presented with conflict or an uncomfortable situation.
Body Signs – When your body reacts to stress and conflict you may display a number of different signs.
Risky Situations – Specific places and situations that may lead to abuse. , This happens when you think of them like an object.
For example, perhaps you call them sexist/racist/ableist slurs in your mind.
Spinning – Negative thoughts spinning around in your head.
Example: “She totally cheated on me.
I’ve just got this strong feeling.” Justification – Making excuses for being abusive.
Example: “She knows I have a bad temper.” Minimization – Making it seem like the abuse was no big deal.
Example: “I was only joking with her.” Blame – Putting the blame on something else.
Example: “I was drunk.” or “She pushed my buttons.” Victim Thinking – Thinking that you are the victim.
Example: “This is unfair, poor me.” Violent Thoughts
- Actually dreaming/fantasizing of abuse. -
Step 2: Once you learn to spot the warning signs
When those feelings are triggered you are able to figure out what your feelings are telling you.
Applying a name to those feelings and taking time to think about what they mean will help you make good decisions.
When you decide how important a situation is to you, you may have a different feeling about it the next time it occurs. , You are the only person responsible for your actions. , Even intense and uncomfortable feelings are softened when they are acknowledged without criticism or blaming.
Allowing yourself to experience uncomfortable emotions means you are also freer to experience joy and peace. , What is your body telling you.
Do you get any of these signs: sweaty palms, heart pounding, jaw clenched, upset stomach, headache, clenched fists, rapid breathing, shaking, urge to drink or use drugs, tunnel vision, muscle tension, urge to smoke, facial distortions, butterflies, lump in throat, tight chest.
If you do then you could become abusive. , These risky situations might lead you to becoming more abusive.
Theses are some examples:
Being tired, sensitive topics, feeling rushed, bad mood, extend family, financial stress, hungry, drinking, ongoing stress, tough day at work, household responsibilities, being sick, being challenged, not getting your way, physical pain, disciplining children, friends (both her and yours) -
Step 3: you will want to learn to cope with abusive behaviour by replacing it with another behavior which is more positive and healthier.
-
Step 4: In some cases you may even need to remove yourself from the situation
-
Step 5: but this is only a short term fix.
-
Step 6: Be aware of thought patterns such as these: Objectification – Dehumanizing your partner in your mind.
-
Step 7: Know that events and situations in your life will trigger feelings.
-
Step 8: It is important to note that other people are not responsible for your feelings.
-
Step 9: Realize that denying feelings leads to confusion
-
Step 10: resentment and physical stress.
-
Step 11: Also be aware of your body signs.
-
Step 12: Also examine risky situations that may be in.
Detailed Guide
Warning signs can come in many different ways to let you know if you are being abusive towards your partner.
If you pay attention to internal and external cues you may be able to stop the abuse before it happens. ,, The real goal is to be able to make a positive choice in difficult situation with your partner.
This will take time and conscious practice.
Warning signs to abuse consists of four different areas:
Thoughts/Thinking Patterns – Ways in which we think about situations and/or people in general.
Feelings – You may experience a whole range of feelings when presented with conflict or an uncomfortable situation.
Body Signs – When your body reacts to stress and conflict you may display a number of different signs.
Risky Situations – Specific places and situations that may lead to abuse. , This happens when you think of them like an object.
For example, perhaps you call them sexist/racist/ableist slurs in your mind.
Spinning – Negative thoughts spinning around in your head.
Example: “She totally cheated on me.
I’ve just got this strong feeling.” Justification – Making excuses for being abusive.
Example: “She knows I have a bad temper.” Minimization – Making it seem like the abuse was no big deal.
Example: “I was only joking with her.” Blame – Putting the blame on something else.
Example: “I was drunk.” or “She pushed my buttons.” Victim Thinking – Thinking that you are the victim.
Example: “This is unfair, poor me.” Violent Thoughts
- Actually dreaming/fantasizing of abuse.
When those feelings are triggered you are able to figure out what your feelings are telling you.
Applying a name to those feelings and taking time to think about what they mean will help you make good decisions.
When you decide how important a situation is to you, you may have a different feeling about it the next time it occurs. , You are the only person responsible for your actions. , Even intense and uncomfortable feelings are softened when they are acknowledged without criticism or blaming.
Allowing yourself to experience uncomfortable emotions means you are also freer to experience joy and peace. , What is your body telling you.
Do you get any of these signs: sweaty palms, heart pounding, jaw clenched, upset stomach, headache, clenched fists, rapid breathing, shaking, urge to drink or use drugs, tunnel vision, muscle tension, urge to smoke, facial distortions, butterflies, lump in throat, tight chest.
If you do then you could become abusive. , These risky situations might lead you to becoming more abusive.
Theses are some examples:
Being tired, sensitive topics, feeling rushed, bad mood, extend family, financial stress, hungry, drinking, ongoing stress, tough day at work, household responsibilities, being sick, being challenged, not getting your way, physical pain, disciplining children, friends (both her and yours)
About the Author
Kyle Morales
Committed to making cooking accessible and understandable for everyone.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: