How to Leave the Old Apostolic Lutheran Church
Don't tell anyone you are leaving., Build a support system to help you adjust to life outside the church., Take it slow., Face your fears., Learn about faith's history and heritage., Forgive those who shun you., Practice moderation., Travel widely...
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Don't tell anyone you are leaving.
As soon as other members know, the shaming and shunning may begin, so wait until you have a support system in place before you tell anyone why you "don't come around anymore." -
Step 2: Build a support system to help you adjust to life outside the church.
You may want to consult a therapist, visit an online community of former members, and join a group based on a hobby or shared ethnic heritage.
In time, you may want to join a new faith community. , Understand that you will feel ambivalent about the church, its members, and its teachings.
You are free to question everything.
Allow yourself time to develop a new philosophy and don't be tempted by new dogma. , You were indoctrinated in a rigid belief system, and it will take time to sort out the fact from the fiction, the good from the bad, the love from the fear.
Trust that your doubts are there to teach you, not to condemn you. , The more you know about its past, the more you will see its sociological context.
Check out the many resources online about Laestadianism, fundamentalism, and the Sami. , They do it out of fear.
Don't feel like you have to answer questions or explain yourself.
Protect your emerging identity from scrutiny as you discover who you are and who you want to be. , It may be tempting to make up for lost time in exploring previously forbidden activities, including sports, music, television, dancing, and alcohol.
Play safe and don't do anything you wouldn't want to tell your grandchildren about. , The more of the world you see, the more confident you will be in your decision, and the bigger your social network will be. , When tempted to be bitter about your past, remember that it could have been a lot worse, and you have the rest of your life to live differently. , Use your expanded sense of community to reach out to others in need.
You will never be happier than when you are using your gifts to help others, and you will be too busy to be bitter. , If you are male and want to wear a necktie, tattoo or earring, give yourself a year to see if the desire fades. , This is a universal phenomenon and not unique to Laestadianism.
It helps to talk to others who have been there and understand, whether they have left the OALC or some other kind of fundamentalism.
Seek them out. , For anyone leaving a fundamentalist community, pursuing formal and informal education is important step towards self-improvement and expanding your worldview. -
Step 3: Take it slow.
-
Step 4: Face your fears.
-
Step 5: Learn about faith's history and heritage.
-
Step 6: Forgive those who shun you.
-
Step 7: Practice moderation.
-
Step 8: Travel widely.
-
Step 9: Be thankful.
-
Step 10: Be generous.
-
Step 11: If you are female and want to cut your hair for the first time
-
Step 12: consider donating it to Locks of Love.
-
Step 13: Understand that you may feel you don't belong anywhere: Apostolic society nor American "mainstream" culture.
-
Step 14: Pursue knowledge.
Detailed Guide
As soon as other members know, the shaming and shunning may begin, so wait until you have a support system in place before you tell anyone why you "don't come around anymore."
You may want to consult a therapist, visit an online community of former members, and join a group based on a hobby or shared ethnic heritage.
In time, you may want to join a new faith community. , Understand that you will feel ambivalent about the church, its members, and its teachings.
You are free to question everything.
Allow yourself time to develop a new philosophy and don't be tempted by new dogma. , You were indoctrinated in a rigid belief system, and it will take time to sort out the fact from the fiction, the good from the bad, the love from the fear.
Trust that your doubts are there to teach you, not to condemn you. , The more you know about its past, the more you will see its sociological context.
Check out the many resources online about Laestadianism, fundamentalism, and the Sami. , They do it out of fear.
Don't feel like you have to answer questions or explain yourself.
Protect your emerging identity from scrutiny as you discover who you are and who you want to be. , It may be tempting to make up for lost time in exploring previously forbidden activities, including sports, music, television, dancing, and alcohol.
Play safe and don't do anything you wouldn't want to tell your grandchildren about. , The more of the world you see, the more confident you will be in your decision, and the bigger your social network will be. , When tempted to be bitter about your past, remember that it could have been a lot worse, and you have the rest of your life to live differently. , Use your expanded sense of community to reach out to others in need.
You will never be happier than when you are using your gifts to help others, and you will be too busy to be bitter. , If you are male and want to wear a necktie, tattoo or earring, give yourself a year to see if the desire fades. , This is a universal phenomenon and not unique to Laestadianism.
It helps to talk to others who have been there and understand, whether they have left the OALC or some other kind of fundamentalism.
Seek them out. , For anyone leaving a fundamentalist community, pursuing formal and informal education is important step towards self-improvement and expanding your worldview.
About the Author
Denise Mitchell
Denise Mitchell has dedicated 3 years to mastering education and learning. As a content creator, Denise focuses on providing actionable tips and step-by-step guides.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: