How to Like and Accept Hugs
Ask for help., Practice relaxation techniques., Hug your pillow., Work up to it., Discover some benefits to hugging.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Ask for help.
Is there one person you feel comfortable hugging, like a close friend or a family member? Find somebody who will not make you feel weird that you don’t like to hug, and maybe suggest ways to make your hug feel more natural.
For example, you could ask a friend to grade you, or rate you on your hug.
You can make a game out of it and make it easier for your friend to give you a bad, but honest assessment.
Hearing from your friend that your hug is a D-plus or a 3 is easier to swallow than “That was a terrible hug, yuck.” Ask how you can improve.
They may give you some useful feedback like, “Don’t be so stiff,” or “Come closer, because you feel really far away.” -
Step 2: Practice relaxation techniques.
Hugs are bad for both people if one person is rigid.
Find some strategies to help yourself stay relaxed.
Take a deep breath and exhale.Get the tension out of your arms by consciously tensing them up, holding the tension for a few seconds, and then relaxing.
Your arms will feel more relaxed.
You can try this technique with your whole body as well.Don’t put pressure on yourself to “get it right.” It’s just a hug! If you are hugging someone, it’s presumably because you care about them.
Chances are they care about you, too, and won’t judge you on how you do it. , Yes, it sounds a little strange.
But no one needs to know you are doing it.
Pretend the pillow is a person and practice relaxing into the pillow.
Figure out where your arms and head feel most comfortable. , Don’t jump right into big bear hugs if you are not a touchy-feely person.
Take small steps toward your goal of a full hug, by breaking the action down into smaller steps.
Once you are comfortable with the small action, move on to the next, bigger action.For example, you might progress this way:
Shaking hands Touching other person’s upper arm Putting your arm around them (AKA the side hug) Putting one arm around their shoulders while facing them Full hug , Hugging may not feel very natural or comfortable to you, but there are lots of reasons to give and receive hugs.
They do more than just show affection.
For example, hugs:
Reduce stress.Hugs trigger your brain to produce oxytocin, which helps you feel relaxed and thus, less stressed.
Keep you healthy.
Stress taxes your immune system.
If you are receiving hugs, you are reducing your stress level.
Because you are feeling less stressed, you are less likely to get sick.
Help you feel connected to others.
Oxytocin is known as “the bonding hormone,” which is the same hormone triggered in new mothers following the birth of a baby.
Hugs help you feel that others are supporting you and reduce the feeling of loneliness, itself a stressor. -
Step 3: Hug your pillow.
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Step 4: Work up to it.
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Step 5: Discover some benefits to hugging.
Detailed Guide
Is there one person you feel comfortable hugging, like a close friend or a family member? Find somebody who will not make you feel weird that you don’t like to hug, and maybe suggest ways to make your hug feel more natural.
For example, you could ask a friend to grade you, or rate you on your hug.
You can make a game out of it and make it easier for your friend to give you a bad, but honest assessment.
Hearing from your friend that your hug is a D-plus or a 3 is easier to swallow than “That was a terrible hug, yuck.” Ask how you can improve.
They may give you some useful feedback like, “Don’t be so stiff,” or “Come closer, because you feel really far away.”
Hugs are bad for both people if one person is rigid.
Find some strategies to help yourself stay relaxed.
Take a deep breath and exhale.Get the tension out of your arms by consciously tensing them up, holding the tension for a few seconds, and then relaxing.
Your arms will feel more relaxed.
You can try this technique with your whole body as well.Don’t put pressure on yourself to “get it right.” It’s just a hug! If you are hugging someone, it’s presumably because you care about them.
Chances are they care about you, too, and won’t judge you on how you do it. , Yes, it sounds a little strange.
But no one needs to know you are doing it.
Pretend the pillow is a person and practice relaxing into the pillow.
Figure out where your arms and head feel most comfortable. , Don’t jump right into big bear hugs if you are not a touchy-feely person.
Take small steps toward your goal of a full hug, by breaking the action down into smaller steps.
Once you are comfortable with the small action, move on to the next, bigger action.For example, you might progress this way:
Shaking hands Touching other person’s upper arm Putting your arm around them (AKA the side hug) Putting one arm around their shoulders while facing them Full hug , Hugging may not feel very natural or comfortable to you, but there are lots of reasons to give and receive hugs.
They do more than just show affection.
For example, hugs:
Reduce stress.Hugs trigger your brain to produce oxytocin, which helps you feel relaxed and thus, less stressed.
Keep you healthy.
Stress taxes your immune system.
If you are receiving hugs, you are reducing your stress level.
Because you are feeling less stressed, you are less likely to get sick.
Help you feel connected to others.
Oxytocin is known as “the bonding hormone,” which is the same hormone triggered in new mothers following the birth of a baby.
Hugs help you feel that others are supporting you and reduce the feeling of loneliness, itself a stressor.
About the Author
Gloria Ward
Committed to making pet care accessible and understandable for everyone.
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