How to Lose a Guy
Confront the issue face to face., Meet in public., Avoid common excuses., Be direct without being rude or mean., Avoid contact., Do not gossip., Act cordially when you see him.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Confront the issue face to face.
You may occasionally meet a guy who clearly thinks the relationship has more potential than you think it does.
When it becomes evident to you that he’s trying to take the relationship in a direction that you have no interest, you might not know how to handle the situation.
Begin by making sure you confront the issue face to face.Texting, phone calls, and other indirect methods can leave room for misunderstandings, so you’re better off telling him in person. -
Step 2: Meet in public.
Meeting at your place or his might seem like a private venue for a private conversation, but agreeing to meet in a private place can put the meet-up in the wrong context for the guy.
Additionally, if you don’t know him super well, a safe, public spot is just a better idea regardless.Though it’s a public place, do not bring friends along for moral support because rejecting him in front of friends is always a bit rude.This isn’t to say you can’t have a friend nearby, but don’t have the friend present for the conversation. , When trying to let someone down gently—whether male or female—many people resort to common excuses such as being interested in someone else or it simply being bad timing.
Though well intended, these excuses can also lead to misunderstandings because the guy may decide that he simply needs to wait for a better time rather than moving on., Being direct doesn’t mean pulling out a laundry list of everything you dislike about the person or belittling his attempts to date you.
In other words, stay away from “I could never like someone like you,” and instead opt for something along the lines of, “I don’t think about you that way,” or “I’m not interested in pursuing a relationship with you.”While the guy is likely to ask why you’re not interested, remember that you don’t owe him any in-depth explanation if you don’t want to give one.
It’s his responsibility to respect your decision and not your responsibility to justify your decision to him.
However, you can always choose to answer if he asks respectfully. , It is important to back up an unequivocal message with equally as clear actions.
By agreeing to still see the guy, you can confuse the issue or instill some false hope that you might change your mind.You’re better off giving him the time and space to get over his crush.
This may require you telling him that you think you two need the space apart before trying just to be friends (if that’s even what you want) since the crush is likely to try to see you to win you over despite your decision., Especially in instances where the two of you run in the same social circles, avoid gossiping about him with your mutual friends.No one likes getting rejected, and everyone deserves to be treated fairly and with dignity, so don’t gloat to people about how you rejected him or anything like that.
By gossiping, you can very easily stir up negative emotions in the guy that make him angry and attempt to contact you about it.
Since you’re trying to get him to leave you alone in the first place, this is not the way to make that happen. , Since—especially when you have the same friends—it’s impossible to avoid someone altogether, remember to be amiable whenever you do run into him but without being overly intimate.The instinct for many people is to be nicer than usual to someone they know they’ve recently hurt, but being too nice can muddy the message.
It may even lead him to believe that you think you’ve made a mistake.
Avoid this mixed message by being friendly without allowing any sense of guilt to make you pay extra attention to him. -
Step 3: Avoid common excuses.
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Step 4: Be direct without being rude or mean.
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Step 5: Avoid contact.
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Step 6: Do not gossip.
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Step 7: Act cordially when you see him.
Detailed Guide
You may occasionally meet a guy who clearly thinks the relationship has more potential than you think it does.
When it becomes evident to you that he’s trying to take the relationship in a direction that you have no interest, you might not know how to handle the situation.
Begin by making sure you confront the issue face to face.Texting, phone calls, and other indirect methods can leave room for misunderstandings, so you’re better off telling him in person.
Meeting at your place or his might seem like a private venue for a private conversation, but agreeing to meet in a private place can put the meet-up in the wrong context for the guy.
Additionally, if you don’t know him super well, a safe, public spot is just a better idea regardless.Though it’s a public place, do not bring friends along for moral support because rejecting him in front of friends is always a bit rude.This isn’t to say you can’t have a friend nearby, but don’t have the friend present for the conversation. , When trying to let someone down gently—whether male or female—many people resort to common excuses such as being interested in someone else or it simply being bad timing.
Though well intended, these excuses can also lead to misunderstandings because the guy may decide that he simply needs to wait for a better time rather than moving on., Being direct doesn’t mean pulling out a laundry list of everything you dislike about the person or belittling his attempts to date you.
In other words, stay away from “I could never like someone like you,” and instead opt for something along the lines of, “I don’t think about you that way,” or “I’m not interested in pursuing a relationship with you.”While the guy is likely to ask why you’re not interested, remember that you don’t owe him any in-depth explanation if you don’t want to give one.
It’s his responsibility to respect your decision and not your responsibility to justify your decision to him.
However, you can always choose to answer if he asks respectfully. , It is important to back up an unequivocal message with equally as clear actions.
By agreeing to still see the guy, you can confuse the issue or instill some false hope that you might change your mind.You’re better off giving him the time and space to get over his crush.
This may require you telling him that you think you two need the space apart before trying just to be friends (if that’s even what you want) since the crush is likely to try to see you to win you over despite your decision., Especially in instances where the two of you run in the same social circles, avoid gossiping about him with your mutual friends.No one likes getting rejected, and everyone deserves to be treated fairly and with dignity, so don’t gloat to people about how you rejected him or anything like that.
By gossiping, you can very easily stir up negative emotions in the guy that make him angry and attempt to contact you about it.
Since you’re trying to get him to leave you alone in the first place, this is not the way to make that happen. , Since—especially when you have the same friends—it’s impossible to avoid someone altogether, remember to be amiable whenever you do run into him but without being overly intimate.The instinct for many people is to be nicer than usual to someone they know they’ve recently hurt, but being too nice can muddy the message.
It may even lead him to believe that you think you’ve made a mistake.
Avoid this mixed message by being friendly without allowing any sense of guilt to make you pay extra attention to him.
About the Author
Roy King
A seasoned expert in education and learning, Roy King combines 5 years of experience with a passion for teaching. Roy's guides are known for their clarity and practical value.
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