How to Make Choices Without Regrets

Step-by-Step Guide

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   Step 1: Make sure you are calm.

   It’s never a good idea to make a major decision when you are upset or stressed.
   
   Your emotions can cause you to make a choice that you regret.So take a moment to make sure that you are calm and making a logical, rational decision.
   
   For example, you shouldn’t try to choose how to cut your hair when you just found out your partner is cheating on you.
   
   Take a few deep breaths and make sure that you are relaxed and calm when you make your decision.
   
   Ask yourself, “Am I calm enough to make a mature decision that isn’t based on anger, hurt, jealousy, or anything like that?”
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   Step 2: Define your values.

   A good decision is usually one that aligns with your personal values — this is a decision made with integrity.
   
   If you are unsure of what your values are, take some time to work this out before you make a decision.Think back to the times when you felt happiest.
   
   What were you doing? Who were you with (or were you alone)? What made you feel happy in that moment? Think about when you felt proud of yourself.
   
   Why were you proud? Did other people share in those feelings of pride? Who? Think about times you felt satisfied, content, and fulfilled.
   
   What need or desire was fulfilled? How and why did the experience give your life meaning? What were some of the other factors at play that gave you this feeling of satisfaction? Using the information you have gathered, identify commonalities (Were you always with a family member? Was your passion for singing always a factor?).
   
   Then try to identify 10 values and rank them from most important to least.
   
   Values may include faith, family, adventurousness, empathy, generosity, service, nature, achievement, and more.
   
   Once you have identified your values, ask yourself if your decisions align with your values.
   
   Would taking a new job in a foreign country violate your top value of spending time with family? Would skipping class support or violate your top values of accountability and achievement? , Learning as much as you can about your current situation and looking at all the interrelated factors can help you make a decision.
   
   Gathering all the available information can help you eliminate as many unknowns as possible and make the best choice with the information you have.
   
   Think about the impact your choice will have.
   
   You may find yourself in complex situations in which your decision will have a far-reaching impact.
   
   Try asking "So what?" With each fact you uncover, ask yourself this question.
   
   What is important about that fact? What are the implications?For instance, if you determine that choosing to go to art school instead of business school will anger your father, ask yourself "So what?" to determine the implications.
   
   Maybe your father won't help you financially if you go to art school. "So what?" You don't have enough money to pay for school on your own. "So what?" You will need to come up with a plan to get student loans and a summer job to help pay for your education... and so on. , You can make choices without regret if you take the time to think about all of your options before deciding on the one that you think is right for you.Don’t just think in terms of "yes/no" or in terms of "either/or." Try to explore all of your possible options — even the less obvious ones — before making your choice.
   
   For example, you might think to yourself, “I could skip all of class and go to the mall, or I could skip part of class and just grab lunch, or I can stay at school.” If you can, write your options down, so that you can actually see them next to each other and possibly come up with more. , Try to think of the risks involved with each choice.
   
   There is no way to truly know what the outcome will be when you make a choice, but thinking through each risk and its probability can help you determine whether or not you want to go through with something.
   
   Ask yourself what is at stake.
   
   Try doing a risk analysis in which you ask yourself if there are any threats you might face, such as safety (illness, injury); interpersonal (harm to your reputation, loss of confidence from others, loss of friends); natural (weather, natural disasters, disease); financial (business failure, loss of income, loss of funding); and so on.
   
   Then consider the likelihood of any of these things happening and what the impact would be.
   
   Remember that a risk of any decision made can be regret.
   
   Factor that into your decision making — "If I don't take this chance, will I regret it in the future?" Be sure to think beyond the obvious outcomes.
   
   The choices you make will have some obvious consequences, but there may be other factors that aren't so clear.
   
   Let's say you've been planning a weekend sailing trip for several weeks, but now the weather is turning and you're not sure whether or not to go.
   
   What are potential consequences if you go? If you don't go? You might be putting yourself, your ship, and your friends in harm's way if you go.
   
   If you don't go, you might disappoint your friends, or the weather might be fine and it will turn out you could have gone.
   
   Weigh these risks and consider their likelihood. , Think about the best that could happen if you make that choice and the worst that could happen.Be honest and realistic with yourself when writing down the positives and negatives of each possible choice.
   
   Don’t exaggerate the negative or inflate the positive.
   
   For example, instead of writing “my social life will end” as a downside to not attending a party, you could write, “I could miss out on a good time.” Or, for instance, you could write, “We could have a great time” as a positive to going out with someone new, instead of, “We could fall in love.”
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   Step 3: Find out as much as you can about the situation.

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   Step 4: List your options.

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   Step 5: Think about the risks involved.

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   Step 6: Write down the pros and cons of each option.

Detailed Guide

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