How to Make Someone Tell the Truth
Avoid being accusatory., Show empathy., Make it seem like the truth isn’t a big deal., Tell them they aren’t alone in the blame., Offer protection.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Avoid being accusatory.
You reduce the chances of getting someone to confide in you if you come off as accusatory.
Stay calm and keep your body language neutral.
Shouting, banging your fist on a table, and standing with your arms crossed looks intimidating.
The person will be more willing to share information with you if they feel like you will understand.
Sit down, if possible, look the person in the eye, and speak in a soft and reassuring tone.
Place your hands on your lap, at your sides, or on the table and keep your facial expression neutral. -
Step 2: Show empathy.
Part of establishing trust is showing the person you understand them and are empathetic to their situation.
They will be more willing to tell you the truth if they think you won’t blow up at them.
Act like you understand why they would do what they did.
For instance, let's say you catch your son along with a group of peers smoking.
You could say “You are denying the fact that you were smoking.
But I want you to know I would understand it if you actually were.
Sometimes, our peers can pressure us into things we wouldn't normally do.” Giving the impression that anyone would do what you suspect they did may make it more likely for them to divulge the truth., People are often scared to tell the truth because they are afraid of the consequences.
If you minimize the severity of the situation, however, they may be more likely to confess.
You could say, “It’s really not that big of a deal.
I just want to know the truth.” Assuring them that the wrongdoing isn’t all that serious may make them tell you what really happened.However, only go this route if the offense is really not a big deal.
For example, it would probably not work with something that has legal consequences or jail time. , Make the person feel like they aren’t the only one being accused.
If they have the impression that others may also share the blame—and consequences—of the situation, they may be more willing to tell the truth.
They will likely clam up if they think they are going to suffer the wrath all by themselves.
You could say, “I know you weren’t the only one involved.
There are plenty of other people who are at fault, too.”, Tell the person that you will do what you can to protect them.
Convey to them that you are on their side and will do everything you can to help them.
They may open up if their fears are eased. -
Step 3: Make it seem like the truth isn’t a big deal.
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Step 4: Tell them they aren’t alone in the blame.
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Step 5: Offer protection.
Detailed Guide
You reduce the chances of getting someone to confide in you if you come off as accusatory.
Stay calm and keep your body language neutral.
Shouting, banging your fist on a table, and standing with your arms crossed looks intimidating.
The person will be more willing to share information with you if they feel like you will understand.
Sit down, if possible, look the person in the eye, and speak in a soft and reassuring tone.
Place your hands on your lap, at your sides, or on the table and keep your facial expression neutral.
Part of establishing trust is showing the person you understand them and are empathetic to their situation.
They will be more willing to tell you the truth if they think you won’t blow up at them.
Act like you understand why they would do what they did.
For instance, let's say you catch your son along with a group of peers smoking.
You could say “You are denying the fact that you were smoking.
But I want you to know I would understand it if you actually were.
Sometimes, our peers can pressure us into things we wouldn't normally do.” Giving the impression that anyone would do what you suspect they did may make it more likely for them to divulge the truth., People are often scared to tell the truth because they are afraid of the consequences.
If you minimize the severity of the situation, however, they may be more likely to confess.
You could say, “It’s really not that big of a deal.
I just want to know the truth.” Assuring them that the wrongdoing isn’t all that serious may make them tell you what really happened.However, only go this route if the offense is really not a big deal.
For example, it would probably not work with something that has legal consequences or jail time. , Make the person feel like they aren’t the only one being accused.
If they have the impression that others may also share the blame—and consequences—of the situation, they may be more willing to tell the truth.
They will likely clam up if they think they are going to suffer the wrath all by themselves.
You could say, “I know you weren’t the only one involved.
There are plenty of other people who are at fault, too.”, Tell the person that you will do what you can to protect them.
Convey to them that you are on their side and will do everything you can to help them.
They may open up if their fears are eased.
About the Author
Henry Mitchell
Specializes in breaking down complex lifestyle topics into simple steps.
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