How to Not Be Judged by People
Be aware that not all judgments are negative., Realize that people judge one another daily, as a matter of course., Accept that how people judge you tends to say far more about them than it says about you.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Be aware that not all judgments are negative.
Some are positive too, although holding a person to a high standard of future behavior can actually thwart that person's ability to do even the slightest thing wrong.
In the context of this article, making a value judgment is considered to be a decision or summation of another person based on the judging person's own preferences, biases and experience of the world.
A judgment is often made without standing in the other person's shoes, without any attempt to see the issues from the other person's perspective.
If this happens, the judgment will come across as righteous, all-knowing and superior, as if the person judging has somehow got the handle on what's right and what's not.
Remember, if you fall for this trap yourself, that nobody has this much knowledge or power! -
Step 2: Realize that people judge one another daily
This doesn't condone the practice of judging others censoriously but it does allow you to acknowledge that human beings are primed to compare each other, to comment on the doings of others and to make quick assessments of whether or not they like what they see.
This means:
Every one of us is subject to being judged, even those doing the judging.
You are likely to be judging people too; how often do you find yourself not liking things about other people's actions, looks or taste? How many times do you barely know anything about those whom you judge? Many judgments are made subconsciously, based on our experience rather than active thinking.
It takes effort to challenge what we have layered down deep within! It's just a fact of life that some people are more judgmental than others.
Whether this is thanks to their genes, their upbringing, their personal choice, etc., isn't always clear.
Authoritarian types who like to police others' actions (even when it's not their field of knowledge) or those who "stick to the rules like glue" without flexibility, can be particularly challenging people to deal with. , Judgments are often a reflection of a person's own struggles, fears or self-dislike, projected onto another.
Some of the more common reasons behind judging others can include: "I bettered myself, so why can't you?":
It is often the case that a person who dislikes something about themselves will see that trait or attribute in another person.
If they have striven to rid themselves of this negative aspect, such as by getting educated, working really hard, overcoming temptations, forgoing things they really want, etc., then they may be harsh in their assessment of someone else who hasn't done the same things as them to avoid, change or improve their lot. "My religion/faith/background/learning, etc. tells me this is right (and by default anything different is wrong)":
In this case, indoctrination (at however a subtle a level), custom or habit have eroded this person's ability to see that being different from the way that they follow isn't wrong, it's just different.
It's not impossible to get such people to see that other ways of being, believing or seeing the world are equally valid but in the meantime, this doesn't give them any upper hand and you shouldn't lose sleep over their stubbornness. "You ought to be ashamed of yourself":
This tends to arise from one person supposing his or her take on the world is the only way the world works and there is no need to probe any further according to such a shame-and-blame thrower.
The trouble is, the world isn't that black and white and shame is in the eye's of the blamer.
This type of judgmental attitude tends to be about looking for a scapegoat for the world's ills. "I don't approve of you because you're prettier/smarter/more agile, etc. than me":
This type of disapproval-based judgmental attitude is about trying to get control over you, to prevent you from blossoming into the person that they're afraid you'll become (and hence, leave/upset/forget/outperform, etc. them). "You have achieved something I wish I had":
In this case, it's about simply trying to bring you down to this person's level.
Don't oblige. -
Step 3: as a matter of course.
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Step 4: Accept that how people judge you tends to say far more about them than it says about you.
Detailed Guide
Some are positive too, although holding a person to a high standard of future behavior can actually thwart that person's ability to do even the slightest thing wrong.
In the context of this article, making a value judgment is considered to be a decision or summation of another person based on the judging person's own preferences, biases and experience of the world.
A judgment is often made without standing in the other person's shoes, without any attempt to see the issues from the other person's perspective.
If this happens, the judgment will come across as righteous, all-knowing and superior, as if the person judging has somehow got the handle on what's right and what's not.
Remember, if you fall for this trap yourself, that nobody has this much knowledge or power!
This doesn't condone the practice of judging others censoriously but it does allow you to acknowledge that human beings are primed to compare each other, to comment on the doings of others and to make quick assessments of whether or not they like what they see.
This means:
Every one of us is subject to being judged, even those doing the judging.
You are likely to be judging people too; how often do you find yourself not liking things about other people's actions, looks or taste? How many times do you barely know anything about those whom you judge? Many judgments are made subconsciously, based on our experience rather than active thinking.
It takes effort to challenge what we have layered down deep within! It's just a fact of life that some people are more judgmental than others.
Whether this is thanks to their genes, their upbringing, their personal choice, etc., isn't always clear.
Authoritarian types who like to police others' actions (even when it's not their field of knowledge) or those who "stick to the rules like glue" without flexibility, can be particularly challenging people to deal with. , Judgments are often a reflection of a person's own struggles, fears or self-dislike, projected onto another.
Some of the more common reasons behind judging others can include: "I bettered myself, so why can't you?":
It is often the case that a person who dislikes something about themselves will see that trait or attribute in another person.
If they have striven to rid themselves of this negative aspect, such as by getting educated, working really hard, overcoming temptations, forgoing things they really want, etc., then they may be harsh in their assessment of someone else who hasn't done the same things as them to avoid, change or improve their lot. "My religion/faith/background/learning, etc. tells me this is right (and by default anything different is wrong)":
In this case, indoctrination (at however a subtle a level), custom or habit have eroded this person's ability to see that being different from the way that they follow isn't wrong, it's just different.
It's not impossible to get such people to see that other ways of being, believing or seeing the world are equally valid but in the meantime, this doesn't give them any upper hand and you shouldn't lose sleep over their stubbornness. "You ought to be ashamed of yourself":
This tends to arise from one person supposing his or her take on the world is the only way the world works and there is no need to probe any further according to such a shame-and-blame thrower.
The trouble is, the world isn't that black and white and shame is in the eye's of the blamer.
This type of judgmental attitude tends to be about looking for a scapegoat for the world's ills. "I don't approve of you because you're prettier/smarter/more agile, etc. than me":
This type of disapproval-based judgmental attitude is about trying to get control over you, to prevent you from blossoming into the person that they're afraid you'll become (and hence, leave/upset/forget/outperform, etc. them). "You have achieved something I wish I had":
In this case, it's about simply trying to bring you down to this person's level.
Don't oblige.
About the Author
Jennifer Graham
Writer and educator with a focus on practical cooking knowledge.
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