How to Overcome Envy

Know the difference between envy and jealousy., Think about how envy harms you., Identify the reason why you are envious., Write about your feelings., Consider talking to a friend about your envious feelings., Consider seeking help from a therapist...

6 Steps 3 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Know the difference between envy and jealousy.

    Envy and jealousy are not the same thing, but they are often confused.

    It is important to know the difference between envy and jealousy to determine which emotion you are feeling.

    Jealousy is a reaction to the threat of losing something you already possess.

    Envy is a reaction to a something you think you lack.For example, jealousy is what you feel when you see your girlfriend flirting with another guy.

    Envy is what you feel when you see a friend driving up in a brand new sports car.
  2. Step 2: Think about how envy harms you.

    How has envy impacted your life in a negative way? Maybe a long-term friendship is on the verge of dissolving because you can't pretend to be happy for your friend anymore, so you avoid her calls.

    Maybe you check your ex's Facebook page obsessively to glare at pictures of him and his fiancée.

    Maybe you hate-read a classmate's photography blog, wishing you had anything close to his artistic ability.

    These are all examples of the way envy saps energy that could be better spent on something more positive.

    Envy might be harming you in the following ways:
    Taking up your time Consuming your thoughts Ruining your personal and professional relationships Warping your personality Creating negativity , Before you can deal with your envy in a constructive way, you need to figure out what is causing it.

    If you feel envy over your friend’s new sport’s car, take some time to examine the reason why you feel envious.

    Ask yourself questions to identify the cause of your envy before dealing with your envy.For example, are you envious because you want a car like the one he has? Or are you envious of his ability to afford something so expensive? , Journaling is a great way to express your feelings and deal with negative emotions.

    Journaling about your envy may help you to start to understand it better and begin to deal it.

    Start by writing down the reason that you feel envious.

    Describe the source of your envy in as much detail as you can.

    Try to determine why you are envious of this person.For example, you might write about your friend driving up in his new sports car and how that made you feel.

    What was your mood like at the time? How did you feel when he pulled up? What did you feel like doing/saying? What did you actually do/say? How did you feel after he left? How do you feel thinking back on it? What would you like to feel? , Telling a supportive friend or family member how you are feeling may help you feel better and help you to express your emotions.

    Choose someone who is not closely involved with the person you envy.

    Also, make sure to choose someone who will be supportive and who will listen to you.

    Choosing someone who will brush off your feelings or who will not offer good support may make you feel worse. , For some people, envy can interfere with daily life and happiness.

    Without help, it may be hard to understand your envy and determine the best way to deal with those feelings.

    A licensed mental health professional can help you to understand these feelings and help you work through them.
  3. Step 3: Identify the reason why you are envious.

  4. Step 4: Write about your feelings.

  5. Step 5: Consider talking to a friend about your envious feelings.

  6. Step 6: Consider seeking help from a therapist if you can’t move past your envy on your own.

Detailed Guide

Envy and jealousy are not the same thing, but they are often confused.

It is important to know the difference between envy and jealousy to determine which emotion you are feeling.

Jealousy is a reaction to the threat of losing something you already possess.

Envy is a reaction to a something you think you lack.For example, jealousy is what you feel when you see your girlfriend flirting with another guy.

Envy is what you feel when you see a friend driving up in a brand new sports car.

How has envy impacted your life in a negative way? Maybe a long-term friendship is on the verge of dissolving because you can't pretend to be happy for your friend anymore, so you avoid her calls.

Maybe you check your ex's Facebook page obsessively to glare at pictures of him and his fiancée.

Maybe you hate-read a classmate's photography blog, wishing you had anything close to his artistic ability.

These are all examples of the way envy saps energy that could be better spent on something more positive.

Envy might be harming you in the following ways:
Taking up your time Consuming your thoughts Ruining your personal and professional relationships Warping your personality Creating negativity , Before you can deal with your envy in a constructive way, you need to figure out what is causing it.

If you feel envy over your friend’s new sport’s car, take some time to examine the reason why you feel envious.

Ask yourself questions to identify the cause of your envy before dealing with your envy.For example, are you envious because you want a car like the one he has? Or are you envious of his ability to afford something so expensive? , Journaling is a great way to express your feelings and deal with negative emotions.

Journaling about your envy may help you to start to understand it better and begin to deal it.

Start by writing down the reason that you feel envious.

Describe the source of your envy in as much detail as you can.

Try to determine why you are envious of this person.For example, you might write about your friend driving up in his new sports car and how that made you feel.

What was your mood like at the time? How did you feel when he pulled up? What did you feel like doing/saying? What did you actually do/say? How did you feel after he left? How do you feel thinking back on it? What would you like to feel? , Telling a supportive friend or family member how you are feeling may help you feel better and help you to express your emotions.

Choose someone who is not closely involved with the person you envy.

Also, make sure to choose someone who will be supportive and who will listen to you.

Choosing someone who will brush off your feelings or who will not offer good support may make you feel worse. , For some people, envy can interfere with daily life and happiness.

Without help, it may be hard to understand your envy and determine the best way to deal with those feelings.

A licensed mental health professional can help you to understand these feelings and help you work through them.

About the Author

K

Kimberly Gonzalez

Creates helpful guides on home improvement to inspire and educate readers.

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