How to React to Someone Coming Out
Listen well., Make sure you understand the identity that the person is coming out as., Understand that their identity isn't a decision or choice that they made., It's okay to politely ask for clarification.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Listen well.
They've probably been holding back their feelings for quite a long time, so it's important to allow them to let it out.
Be compassionate and do your best to understand. -
Step 2: Make sure you understand the identity that the person is coming out as.
Sexuality and gender identity are massive spectrums, so if you don't understand their identity (such as pansexual, polysexual, asexual, demisexual, etc.) make sure you ask them to tell you what their identity means.
Also, it's good to ask for clarification on what their identity means to them.
For example, some pansexuals also identify with bisexuality, and others believe pansexuality and bisexuality are completely different things. , Many people who are just coming out wish that they were cisgender/heterosexual because then they wouldn't need to come out in such a cis/heteronormative society.
They never made a choice; it's not like one day they woke up, saw a rainbow in the sky, and decided they were queer. , You may not understand LGBTQ+ issues well, and if you're well-meaning and polite, it's usually fine to ask.
Save the more complicated or private matters for internet research.
A question or two is fine, but you don't want to violate their privacy or overwhelm them with questions! -
Step 3: Understand that their identity isn't a decision or choice that they made.
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Step 4: It's okay to politely ask for clarification.
Detailed Guide
They've probably been holding back their feelings for quite a long time, so it's important to allow them to let it out.
Be compassionate and do your best to understand.
Sexuality and gender identity are massive spectrums, so if you don't understand their identity (such as pansexual, polysexual, asexual, demisexual, etc.) make sure you ask them to tell you what their identity means.
Also, it's good to ask for clarification on what their identity means to them.
For example, some pansexuals also identify with bisexuality, and others believe pansexuality and bisexuality are completely different things. , Many people who are just coming out wish that they were cisgender/heterosexual because then they wouldn't need to come out in such a cis/heteronormative society.
They never made a choice; it's not like one day they woke up, saw a rainbow in the sky, and decided they were queer. , You may not understand LGBTQ+ issues well, and if you're well-meaning and polite, it's usually fine to ask.
Save the more complicated or private matters for internet research.
A question or two is fine, but you don't want to violate their privacy or overwhelm them with questions!
About the Author
Grace Phillips
Committed to making creative arts accessible and understandable for everyone.
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