How to Receive What You Ask For

Be clear., Pleasantly persist beyond the first sign of resistance., Let them know what's in it for them., Invite them to explore alternatives with you., Make it easy for them to give what you want., Ask big., Explain why you want what you want.

7 Steps 2 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Be clear.

    Don't use hints or vague statements and complaints then assume you've made your point.

    Be specific about what you want.

    Powerful requests are clear.

    Don't say, "Are you too busy to do me a favor?" when you could say "Will you pick up my dry cleaning this afternoon?".
  2. Step 2: Pleasantly persist beyond the first sign of resistance.

    Don't think resistance means "no".

    Provide more information and ask in a different way.

    Don't give up after the first request but do realize that most sales happen after seven requests. , Don't focus solely on your own needs.

    Indicate how it benefits them to help you, and include gratitude
    - they will benefit from your appreciation! Don't say, "I want this because I
    - " when you could say
    - ""If you'll do this for me, then I can reciprocate by
    - ". , Don't ask for one option and give up when they say "no"

    but invite alternatives.

    They might come up with options that work for them and work for you. , Don't ask people to do things you could easily do for yourself.

    Make it easy for them to give you what you want.

    Make the best use of their time, skills, and goodwill.

    They will feel valued and you will get the help you want. , Don't limit your requests to what you think you can get.

    Ask for everything you want, and extra.

    Don't say, "I want
    18.00 an hour to do that job" when you could say, "I want
    20.00 an hour to do that job".

    It's much easier to negotiate your way down than it is to negotiate your way up. , Don't omit your reasons for asking.

    Explain what it would mean to you to get what you want.

    Remember that the word "because" is one of the most persuasive words in the English language.

    Use that knowledge to help you get what you want.
  3. Step 3: Let them know what's in it for them.

  4. Step 4: Invite them to explore alternatives with you.

  5. Step 5: Make it easy for them to give what you want.

  6. Step 6: Ask big.

  7. Step 7: Explain why you want what you want.

Detailed Guide

Don't use hints or vague statements and complaints then assume you've made your point.

Be specific about what you want.

Powerful requests are clear.

Don't say, "Are you too busy to do me a favor?" when you could say "Will you pick up my dry cleaning this afternoon?".

Don't think resistance means "no".

Provide more information and ask in a different way.

Don't give up after the first request but do realize that most sales happen after seven requests. , Don't focus solely on your own needs.

Indicate how it benefits them to help you, and include gratitude
- they will benefit from your appreciation! Don't say, "I want this because I
- " when you could say
- ""If you'll do this for me, then I can reciprocate by
- ". , Don't ask for one option and give up when they say "no"

but invite alternatives.

They might come up with options that work for them and work for you. , Don't ask people to do things you could easily do for yourself.

Make it easy for them to give you what you want.

Make the best use of their time, skills, and goodwill.

They will feel valued and you will get the help you want. , Don't limit your requests to what you think you can get.

Ask for everything you want, and extra.

Don't say, "I want
18.00 an hour to do that job" when you could say, "I want
20.00 an hour to do that job".

It's much easier to negotiate your way down than it is to negotiate your way up. , Don't omit your reasons for asking.

Explain what it would mean to you to get what you want.

Remember that the word "because" is one of the most persuasive words in the English language.

Use that knowledge to help you get what you want.

About the Author

H

Hannah Reynolds

Committed to making crafts accessible and understandable for everyone.

32 articles
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