How to Recover Emotionally After a Rape
Take care of your physical needs., Re-establish a daily routine., Return to things you love., Treat yourself., Practice mindful living., Guard your media consumption., Affirm some basic truths., Be patient.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Take care of your physical needs.
After a traumatic experience, focus on caring for your body.If you used to have a healthy routine, try returning to that.
If you're not sure or if you never had one, try following these guidelines:
Get enough sleep.
If you're an adult, sleep 7-8 hours a night.
If you're a teenager, you need closer to 9-11 hours of sleep.Try not to nap during the day, as it can disrupt your night sleep.
Eat regular meals.
Eat at least three meals a day, and include healthy snacks and occasional treats in between your meals.
Include fruits, vegetables, whole grains, dairy, protein, and healthy fats in your daily diet.Move every day.
Exercise, even moderate exercise, is good for your mood and mental health.
Try walking, running, biking, or getting some other form of activity in every day of the week. -
Step 2: Re-establish a daily routine.
It won't help to have the occasional meal, or get one good night's sleep.
Get into the rhythm by going to bed at the same time every night, eating more or less at the same time during the day, and building movement into your routine.Try grocery shopping regularly on the weekends so that you always have food in your house.
That way you can make sure you have food on hand to make your own meals.
For instance, you might rise every morning at around 7:00am, eat breakfast, walk to work, go out for lunch with a work friend, take the bus home from work, attend a pilates class in your neighborhood, and start winding down by reading a book an hour before your 11:00pm bedtime.
Adapt your schedule to suit your needs.
If you don’t have a workplace, you might schedule a run into your morning routine instead of a walk.
If you are a night owl, you might try going to bed by 1am and getting up at 9am.
Find a schedule you can follow consistently. , Think about a time you felt safe.
When you are feeling ungrounded after a traumatic event, it can help to draw up a list of the things that have made you feel safe and good in the past.Think back on the last year or so in which you felt good, and ask yourself:
What did I like doing for fun? What got me excited? Who did I enjoy spending time with? Are there individuals or groups of people with whom I felt safe and happy? Where did I like going? Integrate these things into your routine.
Take trips to places you haven't been in a while.
Ask people you love to participate in things you love with you.
If you need to change anything about these things to enjoy them, do that! For instance, if you were attacked somewhere you felt safe, you might need to re-enter that place gradually, always with friends, or you may need to find a similar space to visit first. , This doesn't mean spoil yourself—don't spend money or break your patterns in a way that causes anxiety.
However, take time every day to give yourself a treat.
This might be a warm bath, a walk in a park, a shoulder massage, or a break from work.
Remind yourself that self-care is your job right now.
Taking loving care of yourself, as well as accepting loving care from others, will ease you out of the worst of the trauma. , To live mindfully is to pay attention to the present moment, and to accept your thoughts and feelings without judgment.
Mindfulness can help you cope with depression, anxiety, and other post-traumatic symptoms.If you are having a rough moment, take some deep breaths.
Wiggle your toes and fingers, and try focusing on your five senses—what can you hear, smell, see, taste, and touch at this moment? , It's possible to run into images or narratives involving sexual violence online, on TV and on the radio, in the paper, and in your social media.
Don't think you have to experience something triggering—if it's painful, you don't have to sit through it.
Remind yourself that you are in control: you can close the browser, turn off the volume, or stop reading.
If you are exposed to unpleasant material in public, you can turn away, close your eyes, or otherwise refuse to engage.
You can unfollow or unfriend someone who posts things that upset you online.Remind yourself that you are in control.
Look out for warnings or clues that material might be triggering, like pictures, ominous language, or blurbs and reviews.
If you see something upsetting, remind yourself that this isn't the whole story.
Movies and other media tend to portray the moment of violence—not the healing process or the life that is lived. , It can be easy to fall into traps of negative thinking after you have experienced a trauma.
Remind yourself: this is not your fault.
You are not alone.
Repeat these statements in the mirror, write them down, or ask loved ones to repeat them to you.
If a bad thought or feeling comes to you, notice it and accept it without judgment.
Don't try to suppress it, but do try to release it.
You can give it a name—when the bad feeling comes, say "This is the I'm-worthless-because-someone-treated-me-like-I-don't-matter feeling.
I am letting it go."
You are in pain now, but you will improve with time.
Avoid taking drastic measures.
If you're feeling traumatized, you may try to change things that don't need changing, or numb feelings you need to process.
Keeping a diary can be an excellent way of marking time.
Write a little every day before bed, or whenever else you have a free moment.
Include the date and time.
Write about how you feel, and what you did that day.
Have check-in sessions with yourself.
Several times a day, ask yourself "How do I feel?" Find several adjectives to describe how you feel: mad, glad, sad, bad, anxious, worried, wary, dreamy, distant, raw, gloomy, giddy, etc. -
Step 3: Return to things you love.
-
Step 4: Treat yourself.
-
Step 5: Practice mindful living.
-
Step 6: Guard your media consumption.
-
Step 7: Affirm some basic truths.
-
Step 8: Be patient.
Detailed Guide
After a traumatic experience, focus on caring for your body.If you used to have a healthy routine, try returning to that.
If you're not sure or if you never had one, try following these guidelines:
Get enough sleep.
If you're an adult, sleep 7-8 hours a night.
If you're a teenager, you need closer to 9-11 hours of sleep.Try not to nap during the day, as it can disrupt your night sleep.
Eat regular meals.
Eat at least three meals a day, and include healthy snacks and occasional treats in between your meals.
Include fruits, vegetables, whole grains, dairy, protein, and healthy fats in your daily diet.Move every day.
Exercise, even moderate exercise, is good for your mood and mental health.
Try walking, running, biking, or getting some other form of activity in every day of the week.
It won't help to have the occasional meal, or get one good night's sleep.
Get into the rhythm by going to bed at the same time every night, eating more or less at the same time during the day, and building movement into your routine.Try grocery shopping regularly on the weekends so that you always have food in your house.
That way you can make sure you have food on hand to make your own meals.
For instance, you might rise every morning at around 7:00am, eat breakfast, walk to work, go out for lunch with a work friend, take the bus home from work, attend a pilates class in your neighborhood, and start winding down by reading a book an hour before your 11:00pm bedtime.
Adapt your schedule to suit your needs.
If you don’t have a workplace, you might schedule a run into your morning routine instead of a walk.
If you are a night owl, you might try going to bed by 1am and getting up at 9am.
Find a schedule you can follow consistently. , Think about a time you felt safe.
When you are feeling ungrounded after a traumatic event, it can help to draw up a list of the things that have made you feel safe and good in the past.Think back on the last year or so in which you felt good, and ask yourself:
What did I like doing for fun? What got me excited? Who did I enjoy spending time with? Are there individuals or groups of people with whom I felt safe and happy? Where did I like going? Integrate these things into your routine.
Take trips to places you haven't been in a while.
Ask people you love to participate in things you love with you.
If you need to change anything about these things to enjoy them, do that! For instance, if you were attacked somewhere you felt safe, you might need to re-enter that place gradually, always with friends, or you may need to find a similar space to visit first. , This doesn't mean spoil yourself—don't spend money or break your patterns in a way that causes anxiety.
However, take time every day to give yourself a treat.
This might be a warm bath, a walk in a park, a shoulder massage, or a break from work.
Remind yourself that self-care is your job right now.
Taking loving care of yourself, as well as accepting loving care from others, will ease you out of the worst of the trauma. , To live mindfully is to pay attention to the present moment, and to accept your thoughts and feelings without judgment.
Mindfulness can help you cope with depression, anxiety, and other post-traumatic symptoms.If you are having a rough moment, take some deep breaths.
Wiggle your toes and fingers, and try focusing on your five senses—what can you hear, smell, see, taste, and touch at this moment? , It's possible to run into images or narratives involving sexual violence online, on TV and on the radio, in the paper, and in your social media.
Don't think you have to experience something triggering—if it's painful, you don't have to sit through it.
Remind yourself that you are in control: you can close the browser, turn off the volume, or stop reading.
If you are exposed to unpleasant material in public, you can turn away, close your eyes, or otherwise refuse to engage.
You can unfollow or unfriend someone who posts things that upset you online.Remind yourself that you are in control.
Look out for warnings or clues that material might be triggering, like pictures, ominous language, or blurbs and reviews.
If you see something upsetting, remind yourself that this isn't the whole story.
Movies and other media tend to portray the moment of violence—not the healing process or the life that is lived. , It can be easy to fall into traps of negative thinking after you have experienced a trauma.
Remind yourself: this is not your fault.
You are not alone.
Repeat these statements in the mirror, write them down, or ask loved ones to repeat them to you.
If a bad thought or feeling comes to you, notice it and accept it without judgment.
Don't try to suppress it, but do try to release it.
You can give it a name—when the bad feeling comes, say "This is the I'm-worthless-because-someone-treated-me-like-I-don't-matter feeling.
I am letting it go."
You are in pain now, but you will improve with time.
Avoid taking drastic measures.
If you're feeling traumatized, you may try to change things that don't need changing, or numb feelings you need to process.
Keeping a diary can be an excellent way of marking time.
Write a little every day before bed, or whenever else you have a free moment.
Include the date and time.
Write about how you feel, and what you did that day.
Have check-in sessions with yourself.
Several times a day, ask yourself "How do I feel?" Find several adjectives to describe how you feel: mad, glad, sad, bad, anxious, worried, wary, dreamy, distant, raw, gloomy, giddy, etc.
About the Author
Isabella Long
Brings years of experience writing about crafts and related subjects.
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