How to Safely Stop Therapy or Counseling
Reassess your therapeutic goals.At the beginning of therapy you likely created goals with your therapist., Track your progress., Change your therapist if necessary., Don’t worry about hurting the therapist’s feelings., Prepare emotionally for the...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Reassess your therapeutic goals.At the beginning of therapy you likely created goals with your therapist.
These goals may include reducing or eliminating anxiety attacks, building skills to combat depression, stabilizing your mood, or approaching your relationships more productively.
Reflect on what you’ve gained or learned throughout your time in therapy.
Assess how you’re doing in life now as opposed to when you began therapy and look for what positive changes you’ve made.
You may also want to ask a close friend about what he or she has noticed. -
Step 2: Track your progress.
If you are still finding value in your sessions and experiencing positive changes, therapy may be continued.Think about how you felt when you came to therapy, and how you’re feeling now.
Is there more progress you’d like to make? However, therapy sometimes has lulls or there may be periods of avoidance that may feel like you’re not “getting anywhere.” Be honest with yourself and whether you are resisting treatment or avoiding something.
If you keep a journal, go through it and see how you’ve evolved over time while in therapy.
Some things to ask yourself include, “Am I feeling more empowered? Have my symptoms improved? Do I understand myself better? Have my relationships improved?” , If you don’t feel comfortable with your therapist or you feel like it’s not a good fit, it’s okay to stop seeing one therapist and choose another.
Even if the therapist came highly recommended or has a stellar reputation, it’s your right to have a beneficial therapeutic experience.If you don't feel comfortable talking in front of your therapist, feel invalidated or misunderstood, or feel like your therapist does more talking than you, these are appropriate reasons to seek a different therapist.If your therapist challenges you to face your emotions and you feel scared or afraid, it can be valuable to stick it out, even when it’s hard.
Don’t get in a habit of “therapist hopping.” Do your best to complete treatment with one therapist. , If you know you are ready to end therapy, don’t let fears of hurting your therapist’s feelings hold you back.
If you want to end therapy but are scared to talk about it with your therapist, remind yourself that it’s okay to leave therapy and that your therapist should understand and accept your decision.The hardest part may be bringing up your desire to end therapy.
Consider saying, “I feel like I’ve made a lot of progress, and I am ready to start transitioning toward ending therapy.
How can we do that most effectively?” , The end of therapy can be a healing and positive experience.However, be prepared to have mixed emotions: you may feel proud of yourself and the progress you made, yet sad to leave your therapist and therapy itself.
Or, you may be sad to leave your therapist due to circumstance, such as moving or graduating college.
You may even feel a little scared to handle life on your own without your therapist.
Prepare to feel many emotions.
Allow yourself to feel a range of emotions about ending therapy.
It’s okay to experience your emotions and you don’t have to hide them.
Now is the time to express your feelings honestly.
It’s okay to feel vulnerable and share what’s going on with your therapist, even if it feels uncomfortable., Ideally, the end of therapy happens gradually and throughout the therapeutic process.
A therapist may bring up ending therapy throughout sessions, or help you prepare for the end by having you practice skills or rely on him or her less.
You may begin to solve your own problems and feel good about your progress.
Ending therapy gradually can help you find closure and process how it feels to healthfully end a relationship.In the beginning stages of therapy, be aware that therapy will come to an end one day and work toward that day.
Throughout therapy, ask your therapist, “Is this something I can practice on my own? How can this skill be practiced when I’m on my own?” , The ideal end includes resolving problems you came to therapy for and having skills to continue resolving problems as they come up even once therapy is complete.However, there are times when therapy must end for non-ideal reasons: money, time, feeling “stuck”, or other problems.Whatever your reasons, make sure you talk about them openly and honestly with your therapist and let your therapist know you will be ending therapy.
As you wind down your last sessions, talk about the process with your therapist.
Feel free to share any concerns or fears you experience and how ending therapy feels to you.
You may suddenly enter into a period of distress or confusion before you end therapy, which can be addressed with your therapist. , Have a date in mind to end therapy, and stick to it.
You may find important things come to the surface during this time, and it can help facilitate therapy more quickly.You may need to adjust the end date under dire circumstances.
However, do your best to set and keep the end date. , Don’t stop coming to sessions and “ghost” your therapist, or end therapy over text, phone call, or email.
It’s important for the process to be done face-to-face with no last minute changes.If you feel strange, nervous, anxious, or angry, know that it’s okay to feel this way.
Therapy is a relationship, and it can be important for both you and the therapist to have closure.You may feel unsettled or unsure about how your last sessions will go.
Ask your therapist what to expect prior to having your last session, and make sure you say goodbye.
On your last session, your therapist may review what you learned and how you grew, discuss memories, go through your after-therapy plan, and talk about what it’s like to end the relationship.
Think of ending therapy like a graduation: you worked hard, achieved a goal, and may feel happy and sad about it ending., Most therapists will encourage you to have a support network of friends and family that are there for you in times of need.
Your therapist may encourage you to reach out to family and friends or to make new friends as part of treatment.
Having solid friends in your life can help you with physical and emotional health and add much happiness to your life.Your support network can help you get through transitions and challenges.
Just as your friends are good to you, be a good friend back and support one another.
For more information, check out How to Be a Good Friend. , You may have a “toolbox” of coping skills or activities to do when you feel sad, lonely, anxious, or depressed.
Hold onto these skills and practice them when you need them.
For example, you may reach out to a friend if you’re feeling depressed or go for a walk outside.
Exercising is also a great way to work through stress and improve your mental and physical health., You might mess up here or there once you’re on your own.
If you do mess up, forgive yourself and ask yourself, “What can I learn from this situation?” Maybe you encountered an unexpected circumstance or didn’t seek help for something, or lost control of your symptoms or mood.
When mistakes happen, don’t get down on yourself.
Instead, focus on what can be learned and gained from the situation.
Let go of the mistake and don’t dwell on it.For example, perhaps you went to therapy to better express your emotions, then had an explosive fight with your partner soon after ending therapy.
What mistakes did you make and how can you address a similar situation in the future? , Part of taking care of your mental and emotional health is taking care of your physical health.
Aim to have a healthy lifestyle by taking care of your body’s needs.
Caring of your overall health can help you combat stress and cope with life more easily.Eat a healthy diet and get proper nutrition.
Avoid alcohol and drugs as ways to cope and rely on your healthy skills instead.
Find regular exercise that you enjoy.
Take good care to get enough sleep each night, as sleep can affect your mood and ability to think straight. -
Step 3: Change your therapist if necessary.
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Step 4: Don’t worry about hurting the therapist’s feelings.
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Step 5: Prepare emotionally for the end.
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Step 6: End therapy in stages.
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Step 7: Discuss ending therapy with your therapist.
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Step 8: Set an end date.
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Step 9: Complete your final session.
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Step 10: Have a solid support network.
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Step 11: Practice your skills.Prior to ending therapy
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Step 12: you and your therapist should create plans for how to cope outside of therapy.
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Step 13: Move past mistakes.
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Step 14: Take care of yourself.
Detailed Guide
These goals may include reducing or eliminating anxiety attacks, building skills to combat depression, stabilizing your mood, or approaching your relationships more productively.
Reflect on what you’ve gained or learned throughout your time in therapy.
Assess how you’re doing in life now as opposed to when you began therapy and look for what positive changes you’ve made.
You may also want to ask a close friend about what he or she has noticed.
If you are still finding value in your sessions and experiencing positive changes, therapy may be continued.Think about how you felt when you came to therapy, and how you’re feeling now.
Is there more progress you’d like to make? However, therapy sometimes has lulls or there may be periods of avoidance that may feel like you’re not “getting anywhere.” Be honest with yourself and whether you are resisting treatment or avoiding something.
If you keep a journal, go through it and see how you’ve evolved over time while in therapy.
Some things to ask yourself include, “Am I feeling more empowered? Have my symptoms improved? Do I understand myself better? Have my relationships improved?” , If you don’t feel comfortable with your therapist or you feel like it’s not a good fit, it’s okay to stop seeing one therapist and choose another.
Even if the therapist came highly recommended or has a stellar reputation, it’s your right to have a beneficial therapeutic experience.If you don't feel comfortable talking in front of your therapist, feel invalidated or misunderstood, or feel like your therapist does more talking than you, these are appropriate reasons to seek a different therapist.If your therapist challenges you to face your emotions and you feel scared or afraid, it can be valuable to stick it out, even when it’s hard.
Don’t get in a habit of “therapist hopping.” Do your best to complete treatment with one therapist. , If you know you are ready to end therapy, don’t let fears of hurting your therapist’s feelings hold you back.
If you want to end therapy but are scared to talk about it with your therapist, remind yourself that it’s okay to leave therapy and that your therapist should understand and accept your decision.The hardest part may be bringing up your desire to end therapy.
Consider saying, “I feel like I’ve made a lot of progress, and I am ready to start transitioning toward ending therapy.
How can we do that most effectively?” , The end of therapy can be a healing and positive experience.However, be prepared to have mixed emotions: you may feel proud of yourself and the progress you made, yet sad to leave your therapist and therapy itself.
Or, you may be sad to leave your therapist due to circumstance, such as moving or graduating college.
You may even feel a little scared to handle life on your own without your therapist.
Prepare to feel many emotions.
Allow yourself to feel a range of emotions about ending therapy.
It’s okay to experience your emotions and you don’t have to hide them.
Now is the time to express your feelings honestly.
It’s okay to feel vulnerable and share what’s going on with your therapist, even if it feels uncomfortable., Ideally, the end of therapy happens gradually and throughout the therapeutic process.
A therapist may bring up ending therapy throughout sessions, or help you prepare for the end by having you practice skills or rely on him or her less.
You may begin to solve your own problems and feel good about your progress.
Ending therapy gradually can help you find closure and process how it feels to healthfully end a relationship.In the beginning stages of therapy, be aware that therapy will come to an end one day and work toward that day.
Throughout therapy, ask your therapist, “Is this something I can practice on my own? How can this skill be practiced when I’m on my own?” , The ideal end includes resolving problems you came to therapy for and having skills to continue resolving problems as they come up even once therapy is complete.However, there are times when therapy must end for non-ideal reasons: money, time, feeling “stuck”, or other problems.Whatever your reasons, make sure you talk about them openly and honestly with your therapist and let your therapist know you will be ending therapy.
As you wind down your last sessions, talk about the process with your therapist.
Feel free to share any concerns or fears you experience and how ending therapy feels to you.
You may suddenly enter into a period of distress or confusion before you end therapy, which can be addressed with your therapist. , Have a date in mind to end therapy, and stick to it.
You may find important things come to the surface during this time, and it can help facilitate therapy more quickly.You may need to adjust the end date under dire circumstances.
However, do your best to set and keep the end date. , Don’t stop coming to sessions and “ghost” your therapist, or end therapy over text, phone call, or email.
It’s important for the process to be done face-to-face with no last minute changes.If you feel strange, nervous, anxious, or angry, know that it’s okay to feel this way.
Therapy is a relationship, and it can be important for both you and the therapist to have closure.You may feel unsettled or unsure about how your last sessions will go.
Ask your therapist what to expect prior to having your last session, and make sure you say goodbye.
On your last session, your therapist may review what you learned and how you grew, discuss memories, go through your after-therapy plan, and talk about what it’s like to end the relationship.
Think of ending therapy like a graduation: you worked hard, achieved a goal, and may feel happy and sad about it ending., Most therapists will encourage you to have a support network of friends and family that are there for you in times of need.
Your therapist may encourage you to reach out to family and friends or to make new friends as part of treatment.
Having solid friends in your life can help you with physical and emotional health and add much happiness to your life.Your support network can help you get through transitions and challenges.
Just as your friends are good to you, be a good friend back and support one another.
For more information, check out How to Be a Good Friend. , You may have a “toolbox” of coping skills or activities to do when you feel sad, lonely, anxious, or depressed.
Hold onto these skills and practice them when you need them.
For example, you may reach out to a friend if you’re feeling depressed or go for a walk outside.
Exercising is also a great way to work through stress and improve your mental and physical health., You might mess up here or there once you’re on your own.
If you do mess up, forgive yourself and ask yourself, “What can I learn from this situation?” Maybe you encountered an unexpected circumstance or didn’t seek help for something, or lost control of your symptoms or mood.
When mistakes happen, don’t get down on yourself.
Instead, focus on what can be learned and gained from the situation.
Let go of the mistake and don’t dwell on it.For example, perhaps you went to therapy to better express your emotions, then had an explosive fight with your partner soon after ending therapy.
What mistakes did you make and how can you address a similar situation in the future? , Part of taking care of your mental and emotional health is taking care of your physical health.
Aim to have a healthy lifestyle by taking care of your body’s needs.
Caring of your overall health can help you combat stress and cope with life more easily.Eat a healthy diet and get proper nutrition.
Avoid alcohol and drugs as ways to cope and rely on your healthy skills instead.
Find regular exercise that you enjoy.
Take good care to get enough sleep each night, as sleep can affect your mood and ability to think straight.
About the Author
Adam Ramirez
Creates helpful guides on cooking to inspire and educate readers.
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