How to See the Positives of Rejection
Don't beat yourself up, because you're not the one who lost out here; your crush did., Find the silver lining to this storm cloud., Stop idealizing your crush., Get help from friends., Indulge in new experiences., Pat yourself on the back for having...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Don't beat yourself up
As clichéd as it sounds, fact is, if a guy or girl you had your heart set on can't see how brilliant you are, then they are the one with the problem, not you. -
Step 2: because you're not the one who lost out here; your crush did.
The most prominent positive outcome is strength.
Believe it or not, you can gain more strength when you're at your lowest point than after you win a contest, sometimes! Some people who are frequently rejected will over look this strength and don't even realize they have it.
One way to 'test' if you've gotten stronger is to think back to the hardest rejection you went through.
Could you handle the emotions, at least a little bit better now? If "yes" then congrats! You're getting stronger.
If not, it's okay.
This won't always work, seeing as each rejection is different. , He/She might seem perfect for you, but what if there is some hidden personality trait or habit of theirs that would irk your very last nerve.
Maybe they like a band/hobby/style that you cannot stand to tolerate, partake in a religion you're not too fond of, or they have a personality quirk (like mistreatment of their younger siblings or something crazy like that) which would cause you to have issues with them or break up, anyway. , Sure, they're fun to fool around with, and they can always make you laugh, but that's only a small part of the job of a friend.
So, go ahead, find your most trusted companion(s) and cry on their shoulder.
Play video games, play football, go bowling, laugh at a funny movie, have a sleepover, take a walk, go shopping, anything to get your mind off of "him/her".
After your attention has been digressed from your crush for so long, you'll start to absentmindedly forget about them, which could help in making you that much stronger.
Friends can also help you think of more "bad" qualities of your crush that you alone might of missed. , Sometimes, having a crush on someone can lead you to discover new experiences, hobbies or entertainment that you might of otherwise not known existed! Maybe your crush was into techno music, so you checked it out, and loved it.
Or maybe your crush likes to garden, so now you have a little know-how on the subject.
Although, this is one of the positives and benefits of rejection, it can also be a curse.
For some, listening to the music, or doing hobbies that remind them of their crush will just bring back old bad memories, so be mindful of that. , We all can vouch that when you're asking someone out then, rejected your self-esteem level goes from the rooftops to a crack in the floor in
2.5 seconds.
Through this type of embarrassment, two things will happen.
Firstly, you'll feel horrible, obviously but, you will also gain an underlying confidence! Most do not tap into this confidence, simply because they don't realize it's there, but it's simple to find.
After being rejected, just sit and think for a moment.
You had the courage to speak the words 'I like you'(or something similar).
You had the hope and dared to believe in yourself.
You had the fearlessness to swallow the thought of "what if" and just go with your gut.
Sounds like you've got a lot of confidence.
Sure, you didn't get the answer you wanted, but look at what you DID accomplish! , More, more, more is all we seem to want.
Always wanting what you don't have can be toxic to you and others too.
In this busy, crazy, bustling world, we often forget the simple fact that we could lose it all.
Think about it:
If you were with the one who has your heart, what if they tried to make you give up or change something you loved (a hobby you do, sport, religion, etc.).
Doesn't sound like a good deal, does it? -
Step 3: Find the silver lining to this storm cloud.
-
Step 4: Stop idealizing your crush.
-
Step 5: Get help from friends.
-
Step 6: Indulge in new experiences.
-
Step 7: Pat yourself on the back for having the confidence to speak up.
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Step 8: Think of what you do have.
Detailed Guide
As clichéd as it sounds, fact is, if a guy or girl you had your heart set on can't see how brilliant you are, then they are the one with the problem, not you.
The most prominent positive outcome is strength.
Believe it or not, you can gain more strength when you're at your lowest point than after you win a contest, sometimes! Some people who are frequently rejected will over look this strength and don't even realize they have it.
One way to 'test' if you've gotten stronger is to think back to the hardest rejection you went through.
Could you handle the emotions, at least a little bit better now? If "yes" then congrats! You're getting stronger.
If not, it's okay.
This won't always work, seeing as each rejection is different. , He/She might seem perfect for you, but what if there is some hidden personality trait or habit of theirs that would irk your very last nerve.
Maybe they like a band/hobby/style that you cannot stand to tolerate, partake in a religion you're not too fond of, or they have a personality quirk (like mistreatment of their younger siblings or something crazy like that) which would cause you to have issues with them or break up, anyway. , Sure, they're fun to fool around with, and they can always make you laugh, but that's only a small part of the job of a friend.
So, go ahead, find your most trusted companion(s) and cry on their shoulder.
Play video games, play football, go bowling, laugh at a funny movie, have a sleepover, take a walk, go shopping, anything to get your mind off of "him/her".
After your attention has been digressed from your crush for so long, you'll start to absentmindedly forget about them, which could help in making you that much stronger.
Friends can also help you think of more "bad" qualities of your crush that you alone might of missed. , Sometimes, having a crush on someone can lead you to discover new experiences, hobbies or entertainment that you might of otherwise not known existed! Maybe your crush was into techno music, so you checked it out, and loved it.
Or maybe your crush likes to garden, so now you have a little know-how on the subject.
Although, this is one of the positives and benefits of rejection, it can also be a curse.
For some, listening to the music, or doing hobbies that remind them of their crush will just bring back old bad memories, so be mindful of that. , We all can vouch that when you're asking someone out then, rejected your self-esteem level goes from the rooftops to a crack in the floor in
2.5 seconds.
Through this type of embarrassment, two things will happen.
Firstly, you'll feel horrible, obviously but, you will also gain an underlying confidence! Most do not tap into this confidence, simply because they don't realize it's there, but it's simple to find.
After being rejected, just sit and think for a moment.
You had the courage to speak the words 'I like you'(or something similar).
You had the hope and dared to believe in yourself.
You had the fearlessness to swallow the thought of "what if" and just go with your gut.
Sounds like you've got a lot of confidence.
Sure, you didn't get the answer you wanted, but look at what you DID accomplish! , More, more, more is all we seem to want.
Always wanting what you don't have can be toxic to you and others too.
In this busy, crazy, bustling world, we often forget the simple fact that we could lose it all.
Think about it:
If you were with the one who has your heart, what if they tried to make you give up or change something you loved (a hobby you do, sport, religion, etc.).
Doesn't sound like a good deal, does it?
About the Author
Sharon Chavez
Enthusiastic about teaching creative arts techniques through clear, step-by-step guides.
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