How to Share a Dorm with an Autistic Person

Try to find out what your roommate's interests are., Try to build rapport with your roommate through common interests., Find out whether sensory issues exist, and be accommodating., Be mindful of noise when your roommate is trying to study...

12 Steps 3 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Try to find out what your roommate's interests are.

    Autistic people sometimes have really obscure or unique interests.

    While most people are interested in music, movies, sports, and whatnot, autistic people may be passionate about something obscure such as different models of clocks, writing sci-fi novels, memorizing digital camera ID numbers, or collecting paperclips.

    Many autistic people enjoy fantasy worlds, so they may love books and video games.

    If you share one of your roommate's special interests, then this is an excellent conversation topic! Autistic people are remarkably passionate and knowledgeable about their special interests, to the point that they could discuss them for hours.

    Your roommate may teach you new and interesting things you had never thought of before.
  2. Step 2: Try to build rapport with your roommate through common interests.

    Even if you cannot relate to their special interests, you likely have common ground elsewhere.

    Autistic people often have trouble initiating and maintaining conversations, so it's important to be patient. , Your roommate may be unable to handle certain noises, smells, or textures.

    It is important to respect these issues, because they may be highly bothersome or even physically painful to your roommate. , Autistic people may have a heightened sense of hearing or startle response, so noise that others could ignore may be extremely distracting or painful to them.

    They may benefit from earplugs and/or white noise. , Some autistic people like their things to be 'just so,' and misplaced things can be distressing and disorienting to them.

    Routines help them stay calm and focused, and they may have a unique system of keeping things organized. , Chances are, they haven't realized that there was anything wrong with what they were doing.

    Take them aside and directly explain how a specific action bothers you.

    Don't be afraid you will hurt their feelings just because they're disabled.

    Try using the "nonviolent communication" format, or "When you x, I feel y." For example, "When you said my friends were nerdy, I felt upset." Listen to their explanation of why they did it.

    For example, maybe they consider "nerd" to be a compliment. , Autistic people have trouble recognizing subtle cues, and they may not understand what you're hinting at.

    It's better to directly explain why something is bothering you, and tell them how you feel.

    This eliminates any confusion, and gives the autistic person a chance to make it up to you. , This is not tattling—this is seeking advice on how to solve a problem.

    Your RA may be able to offer guidance on how you two can coexist well.

    Also consider reading articles written by autistic writers, who can explain how many aspects of autism can work. , There's no need to tread lightly around him or her because of autism.

    Autistic people may be unconventional, but they're also funny, compassionate, loyal, sincere, and dedicated to helping their friends.

    With a little patience, acceptance, and understanding, you can end up with a wonderful new friend.
  3. Step 3: Find out whether sensory issues exist

  4. Step 4: and be accommodating.

  5. Step 5: Be mindful of noise when your roommate is trying to study

  6. Step 6: especially if they have sensory issues.

  7. Step 7: Ask your roommate before moving his or her belongings.

  8. Step 8: Tell your roommate if their actions are bothersome or disrespectful to you.

  9. Step 9: Avoid dropping hints if something is bothering you.

  10. Step 10: If you're having a problem

  11. Step 11: talk to your RA.

  12. Step 12: Treat your roommate the same way you would anyone else.

Detailed Guide

Autistic people sometimes have really obscure or unique interests.

While most people are interested in music, movies, sports, and whatnot, autistic people may be passionate about something obscure such as different models of clocks, writing sci-fi novels, memorizing digital camera ID numbers, or collecting paperclips.

Many autistic people enjoy fantasy worlds, so they may love books and video games.

If you share one of your roommate's special interests, then this is an excellent conversation topic! Autistic people are remarkably passionate and knowledgeable about their special interests, to the point that they could discuss them for hours.

Your roommate may teach you new and interesting things you had never thought of before.

Even if you cannot relate to their special interests, you likely have common ground elsewhere.

Autistic people often have trouble initiating and maintaining conversations, so it's important to be patient. , Your roommate may be unable to handle certain noises, smells, or textures.

It is important to respect these issues, because they may be highly bothersome or even physically painful to your roommate. , Autistic people may have a heightened sense of hearing or startle response, so noise that others could ignore may be extremely distracting or painful to them.

They may benefit from earplugs and/or white noise. , Some autistic people like their things to be 'just so,' and misplaced things can be distressing and disorienting to them.

Routines help them stay calm and focused, and they may have a unique system of keeping things organized. , Chances are, they haven't realized that there was anything wrong with what they were doing.

Take them aside and directly explain how a specific action bothers you.

Don't be afraid you will hurt their feelings just because they're disabled.

Try using the "nonviolent communication" format, or "When you x, I feel y." For example, "When you said my friends were nerdy, I felt upset." Listen to their explanation of why they did it.

For example, maybe they consider "nerd" to be a compliment. , Autistic people have trouble recognizing subtle cues, and they may not understand what you're hinting at.

It's better to directly explain why something is bothering you, and tell them how you feel.

This eliminates any confusion, and gives the autistic person a chance to make it up to you. , This is not tattling—this is seeking advice on how to solve a problem.

Your RA may be able to offer guidance on how you two can coexist well.

Also consider reading articles written by autistic writers, who can explain how many aspects of autism can work. , There's no need to tread lightly around him or her because of autism.

Autistic people may be unconventional, but they're also funny, compassionate, loyal, sincere, and dedicated to helping their friends.

With a little patience, acceptance, and understanding, you can end up with a wonderful new friend.

About the Author

J

Jason Rivera

Writer and educator with a focus on practical pet care knowledge.

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