How to Speak Like a Chavette (Female Chav)

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Watch programs like The Only Way Is Essex and Educating Essex.

   Also, try to find any of the 'Diary of a Chav' books by Grace Dent
   - They are a big help!
2. 2

   Step 2: Start picking it up slowly.

   Instead of saying 'how are you' to a friend say 'All right' (Should be pronounced Aw rate ) Also, instead of saying someone's name, call them 'babes' or 'bruv' (Works for BOTH genders!) , This will help to to get into the habit of saying it. , Especially within a monologue : for example, "I was like... an' she was like.... an' 'e was like .... "
   
   Instead : "'ere you go !"
   
   It's an invite to a meet, innit ! , for example: "That were a well good lesson! Ms________ is a proper good teacher, like!" This will make you sound natural. , This will make you look fake and stupid.
   
   Instead, try out one new word at a time. , Aitches are to be dropped (this has no chav status in North/Midlands, where it's normal).
   
   But when saying the letter aitch, pronounce it "haitch" (ditto) , Don't act like you're trying too hard!
3. 3

   Step 3: Every time you are going to say 'isn't it'

4. 4

   Step 4: say 'Innit' and change 'was' for 'were'.

5. 5

   Step 5: Try saying "was like"

6. 6

   Step 6: whenever you would have said

7. 7

   Step 7: "said".

8. 8

   Step 8: Never say

9. 9

   Step 9: "here you are".

10. 10

    Step 10: Never issue an invitation

11. 11

    Step 11: to a meeting.

12. 12

    Step 12: Add 'like

13. 13

    Step 13: ' 'well' and 'proper' into your sentences.

14. 14

    Step 14: Don't go round shouting 'That were proper good innit bruv!'

15. 15

    Step 15: Stop pronouncing 'h'.

16. 16

    Step 16: Be casual!

Detailed Guide

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