How to SQUID
Stop., Question., Understand., Imagine., Decide.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Question.
As soon as you notice signs of distressed reactions or impulsivity that could do more harm than good, try to create a “Stop Point” for considering choices before making any more decisions.
Signs of distress can be felt, seen or heard, and frequently trigger fast automatic reactions that we might regret.
If you can notice the signs of distress when they first start to appear, you can slow down for the yellow lights before you run the red.
You have to act fast to interrupt so it helps to be very clear what signs to watch for.
Do you struggle with emotions getting out of control? What triggers you? What signals can you watch for to remind yourself to be careful about your upcoming choices? Examples: racing heart beat, nausea, feeling heated, hearing an edge in your voice, seeing something that seems “wrong,” feeling disappointed, betrayed, bored. -
Step 2: Understand.
By asking yourself questions, any questions, you actually help reengage your prefrontal cortex and have a chance to interrupt your autopilot reactions.
Different questions might be good for different situations but one of the most basic is “Do I need to think about what I'm about to do or say?"
By taking even a moment to look at the bigger picture of what is going on, you can make a better decision about what to do next.
Remember to look for more than one perspective about what is going on and why.
To improve your understanding, ask yourself more questions.
If you have time, look for other perspectives, talk to someone or try searching online.
Examples: "Why do I feel like something is wrong?” "Why does this bother me?" “Am I overreacting?” “Have I had enough sleep, food, water?” “What’s going on for the other people involved?” “What are my options?” What can I do about it that would be helpful rather than hurtful? , Imagining the likely consequences of your actions is one of the best ways to improve your decisions about what to do.
First, imagine what is likely to happen next if you go with your autopilot.
Then try to imagine at least two other options and the likely consequences of those.
If you are emotionally overwhelmed, this can be hard to do.
One of the simplest choices you can look at is one of the most primal: fight, flight or freeze.
If you are upset and feel like fighting back or shutting down and just taking it, flight can be one of the best choices.
Usually you can excuse yourself to go to the bathroom for a few moments of privacy to allow you calm yourself and consider your options more carefully., After taking even a few moments to go through these steps, you can now make a decision that was at least considered a little bit more than if you had remained on autopilot and never considered your choices.
Even if you do what you were going to do on autopilot, you still practiced questioning yourself before you did it.
The habit of questioning yourself more frequently gives you many more opportunities to make better choices. -
Step 3: Imagine.
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Step 4: Decide.
Detailed Guide
As soon as you notice signs of distressed reactions or impulsivity that could do more harm than good, try to create a “Stop Point” for considering choices before making any more decisions.
Signs of distress can be felt, seen or heard, and frequently trigger fast automatic reactions that we might regret.
If you can notice the signs of distress when they first start to appear, you can slow down for the yellow lights before you run the red.
You have to act fast to interrupt so it helps to be very clear what signs to watch for.
Do you struggle with emotions getting out of control? What triggers you? What signals can you watch for to remind yourself to be careful about your upcoming choices? Examples: racing heart beat, nausea, feeling heated, hearing an edge in your voice, seeing something that seems “wrong,” feeling disappointed, betrayed, bored.
By asking yourself questions, any questions, you actually help reengage your prefrontal cortex and have a chance to interrupt your autopilot reactions.
Different questions might be good for different situations but one of the most basic is “Do I need to think about what I'm about to do or say?"
By taking even a moment to look at the bigger picture of what is going on, you can make a better decision about what to do next.
Remember to look for more than one perspective about what is going on and why.
To improve your understanding, ask yourself more questions.
If you have time, look for other perspectives, talk to someone or try searching online.
Examples: "Why do I feel like something is wrong?” "Why does this bother me?" “Am I overreacting?” “Have I had enough sleep, food, water?” “What’s going on for the other people involved?” “What are my options?” What can I do about it that would be helpful rather than hurtful? , Imagining the likely consequences of your actions is one of the best ways to improve your decisions about what to do.
First, imagine what is likely to happen next if you go with your autopilot.
Then try to imagine at least two other options and the likely consequences of those.
If you are emotionally overwhelmed, this can be hard to do.
One of the simplest choices you can look at is one of the most primal: fight, flight or freeze.
If you are upset and feel like fighting back or shutting down and just taking it, flight can be one of the best choices.
Usually you can excuse yourself to go to the bathroom for a few moments of privacy to allow you calm yourself and consider your options more carefully., After taking even a few moments to go through these steps, you can now make a decision that was at least considered a little bit more than if you had remained on autopilot and never considered your choices.
Even if you do what you were going to do on autopilot, you still practiced questioning yourself before you did it.
The habit of questioning yourself more frequently gives you many more opportunities to make better choices.
About the Author
Linda Sanchez
Linda Sanchez is an experienced writer with over 12 years of expertise in lifestyle and practical guides. Passionate about sharing practical knowledge, Linda creates easy-to-follow guides that help readers achieve their goals.
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