How to Stop a Harassing Co Worker
Consider your situation., Document all incidents of harassment., Ignore the harasser., Set limits., Avoid being alone with the harasser., Ask your friends to stick up for you., Take care of yourself outside of work.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Consider your situation.
Separate your emotions from the facts and think about your harasser.
Is this a personality conflict? Does your behavior contribute anything to this situation? Be sure you are, in fact, dealing with a harassment situation before proceeding with further action.
Workplace harassment is defined as, "unwelcome conduct that is based on race, color, religion, sex (including pregnancy), national origin, age (40 or older), disability or genetic information.
Harassment becomes unlawful where 1) enduring the offensive conduct becomes a condition of continued employment, or 2) the conduct is severe or pervasive enough to create a work environment that a reasonable person would consider intimidating, hostile, or abusive."Remember that a workplace is a professional environment.
People may not always be nice when they ask you to get work done or when they offer criticism on a project.
While that may not be great workplace etiquette, it is not harassment.If you are experiencing ongoing threats, offensive jokes, physical assaults or threat of assault, slurs, mockery, putdowns, or interference with work performance, the behavior may be considered harassment.
Isolated incidents are not usually considered harassment, but should be documented and reported as necessary.For example, a comment on your work, such as “You did a terrible job on this project.
I can’t believe we hired you,” is poorly conveyed but not harassment.
Harassment would be insulting who you are as a person on an ongoing basis, for example, “Hardly surprising a dumb woman would screw this up.” You can learn more about workplace harassment here: https://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/harassment.cfm -
Step 2: Document all incidents of harassment.
Record every encounter you have with your harasser.
Include date, time, and the nature of the encounter.
Be sure to indicate any witnesses that may have seen the incident.For example, your harasser bullies you at a job site.
You could record: “March 3, 11 AM:
John tells me to ‘go back to my own country’ at Main Street project.
Witnesses:
Alice, Sam, and Jaime.” Make sure you record the incidents on a document that is not accessible to the harasser.
For example, you may want to use your home computer, a password protected file on your personal mobile phone, or on a paper you keep in your car.
Having multiple copies is advisable.
Use your documentation to provide evidence for your case against your harasser to your supervisor or human resources.
It can also be helpful for you to go back over these documents a day or two later and decide if what you experienced was truly harassment.
Ask any witnesses who saw the harassment to write their own perception of the encounter.
You could say, “Marie, would you mind jotting down what you saw between Manuel and me in the hallway? Could you give me a copy of it when you’re done? I want to keep track of all of these incidents.” , At first, you may wish to try to see if the harassment will stop if you ignore the person.
It may help you prove your case that you are doing nothing to provoke the person.
If the harasser starts to bother you, you may try pretending you didn’t hear them, walking away, or turning your back to the person.
If the harasser does not get a reaction from you, they may not be encouraged to continue their behavior.
Think about a child not getting a rise out of their sibling, and then stopping the annoying behavior.
If the harasser starts bothering you in the break room, for example, you could leave, take your lunch and eat it at your desk.
If they start bothering you while you’re working at your desk, you could put on a pair of noise-canceling headphones while they are harassing you. , Confront your harasser and let them know their behavior is unacceptable.
Be professional and firm.While it can be difficult, keep your emotions in check when you confront your harasser.
They will likely use your emotions against you.
Remain calm and firm.
It may be helpful to you to rehearse what you say to your harasser beforehand.You could say, “Rick, talking to me like that is unacceptable.
Please stop.” You could say, “Quit following me and saying offensive things to provoke me.
Your behavior is inappropriate in any setting, but especially in an office.” If possible, walk away from the harasser after you state your objection to their behavior.
Do not allow them to draw you into a discussion about the behavior.
You can simply state, "I've said all that I wish to say" and walk away or put on headphones. , Make sure you are always around other people who can witness the harasser’s behavior.
Ask your supervisor for tasks that don’t require you to be alone with the harasser.
Ask to be reassigned to a different team if necessary.
You could say, “I have been having some ongoing conflicts with Spencer.
I noticed that Steve’s team has an opening right now.
Would it be possible for me to get reassigned?” If they follow you into a room in which you are alone, try to either leave or make sure the door remains wide open. , Build a support network of friendly coworkers who can help protect you from the harassment as well as be witnesses to any incidents that may occur.
Ask your coworkers to be alert for any incidents of harassment against others as well.You could say, “Debbie, would you mind sitting with me in the lunchroom today? If Casey says anything to me, I would like to have you witness the incident.” Ask coworkers to stand up against the harasser on your behalf.
You could say, “Tom, if you hear Jenny telling racist jokes around me again, can you please ask her to stop?” , Find ways to manage your stress and emotions in healthy ways when you off the clock.
Try not to let your work life bleed into your personal life.Eat well, sleep well, and exercise.
Staying physically healthy will benefit your mental health.
Do activities you enjoy that help you feel good about yourself and destress.
Spend time with caring family and friends.
Try journaling about your feelings.
This can be an excellent way to process your thoughts and emotions and brainstorm about possible solutions.
You could even write exactly what you'd like to say to your harasser.
Consider counseling to help you deal with difficult emotions and trauma that you may be experiencing in the face of your harassment. -
Step 3: Ignore the harasser.
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Step 4: Set limits.
-
Step 5: Avoid being alone with the harasser.
-
Step 6: Ask your friends to stick up for you.
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Step 7: Take care of yourself outside of work.
Detailed Guide
Separate your emotions from the facts and think about your harasser.
Is this a personality conflict? Does your behavior contribute anything to this situation? Be sure you are, in fact, dealing with a harassment situation before proceeding with further action.
Workplace harassment is defined as, "unwelcome conduct that is based on race, color, religion, sex (including pregnancy), national origin, age (40 or older), disability or genetic information.
Harassment becomes unlawful where 1) enduring the offensive conduct becomes a condition of continued employment, or 2) the conduct is severe or pervasive enough to create a work environment that a reasonable person would consider intimidating, hostile, or abusive."Remember that a workplace is a professional environment.
People may not always be nice when they ask you to get work done or when they offer criticism on a project.
While that may not be great workplace etiquette, it is not harassment.If you are experiencing ongoing threats, offensive jokes, physical assaults or threat of assault, slurs, mockery, putdowns, or interference with work performance, the behavior may be considered harassment.
Isolated incidents are not usually considered harassment, but should be documented and reported as necessary.For example, a comment on your work, such as “You did a terrible job on this project.
I can’t believe we hired you,” is poorly conveyed but not harassment.
Harassment would be insulting who you are as a person on an ongoing basis, for example, “Hardly surprising a dumb woman would screw this up.” You can learn more about workplace harassment here: https://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/harassment.cfm
Record every encounter you have with your harasser.
Include date, time, and the nature of the encounter.
Be sure to indicate any witnesses that may have seen the incident.For example, your harasser bullies you at a job site.
You could record: “March 3, 11 AM:
John tells me to ‘go back to my own country’ at Main Street project.
Witnesses:
Alice, Sam, and Jaime.” Make sure you record the incidents on a document that is not accessible to the harasser.
For example, you may want to use your home computer, a password protected file on your personal mobile phone, or on a paper you keep in your car.
Having multiple copies is advisable.
Use your documentation to provide evidence for your case against your harasser to your supervisor or human resources.
It can also be helpful for you to go back over these documents a day or two later and decide if what you experienced was truly harassment.
Ask any witnesses who saw the harassment to write their own perception of the encounter.
You could say, “Marie, would you mind jotting down what you saw between Manuel and me in the hallway? Could you give me a copy of it when you’re done? I want to keep track of all of these incidents.” , At first, you may wish to try to see if the harassment will stop if you ignore the person.
It may help you prove your case that you are doing nothing to provoke the person.
If the harasser starts to bother you, you may try pretending you didn’t hear them, walking away, or turning your back to the person.
If the harasser does not get a reaction from you, they may not be encouraged to continue their behavior.
Think about a child not getting a rise out of their sibling, and then stopping the annoying behavior.
If the harasser starts bothering you in the break room, for example, you could leave, take your lunch and eat it at your desk.
If they start bothering you while you’re working at your desk, you could put on a pair of noise-canceling headphones while they are harassing you. , Confront your harasser and let them know their behavior is unacceptable.
Be professional and firm.While it can be difficult, keep your emotions in check when you confront your harasser.
They will likely use your emotions against you.
Remain calm and firm.
It may be helpful to you to rehearse what you say to your harasser beforehand.You could say, “Rick, talking to me like that is unacceptable.
Please stop.” You could say, “Quit following me and saying offensive things to provoke me.
Your behavior is inappropriate in any setting, but especially in an office.” If possible, walk away from the harasser after you state your objection to their behavior.
Do not allow them to draw you into a discussion about the behavior.
You can simply state, "I've said all that I wish to say" and walk away or put on headphones. , Make sure you are always around other people who can witness the harasser’s behavior.
Ask your supervisor for tasks that don’t require you to be alone with the harasser.
Ask to be reassigned to a different team if necessary.
You could say, “I have been having some ongoing conflicts with Spencer.
I noticed that Steve’s team has an opening right now.
Would it be possible for me to get reassigned?” If they follow you into a room in which you are alone, try to either leave or make sure the door remains wide open. , Build a support network of friendly coworkers who can help protect you from the harassment as well as be witnesses to any incidents that may occur.
Ask your coworkers to be alert for any incidents of harassment against others as well.You could say, “Debbie, would you mind sitting with me in the lunchroom today? If Casey says anything to me, I would like to have you witness the incident.” Ask coworkers to stand up against the harasser on your behalf.
You could say, “Tom, if you hear Jenny telling racist jokes around me again, can you please ask her to stop?” , Find ways to manage your stress and emotions in healthy ways when you off the clock.
Try not to let your work life bleed into your personal life.Eat well, sleep well, and exercise.
Staying physically healthy will benefit your mental health.
Do activities you enjoy that help you feel good about yourself and destress.
Spend time with caring family and friends.
Try journaling about your feelings.
This can be an excellent way to process your thoughts and emotions and brainstorm about possible solutions.
You could even write exactly what you'd like to say to your harasser.
Consider counseling to help you deal with difficult emotions and trauma that you may be experiencing in the face of your harassment.
About the Author
Gloria Martin
Enthusiastic about teaching practical skills techniques through clear, step-by-step guides.
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