How to Stop Being Rebellious in Your 40s
Identify what you are rebelling against and why., Understand that you are most likely embarrassing your children., Realize that you no longer have to “fight the man” because most likely you actually are "the man”., Embrace this new era in your life...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Identify what you are rebelling against and why.
In some cases you may be passively aggressively rebelling against a dead end job or a lifeless marriage.
Before you can really stop being a “Rebel without a Cause” you need to know what are you fighting for? Political issues.
Feel an affinity with the Occupy movement and are ready to stand outside the biggest bank in town and have a fit? Before you pitch that tent and stock up on bottled water, decide if this is the best strategy for you and your family in order to let the government know how you feel.
Now that you are in your 40’s you most likely have connections and insight into how politics works in order to be more effective in getting your voice heard.
Sometimes the pen (or email in accordance to today’s standards) may work a little better.
Family members.
Still wanting to shock mom with outrageous clothing or crazy behavior? At this point mom is no longer shocked, she’s embarrassed and most likely considering professional help for you.
You are an adult now, act like one.
Your lifestyle choice.
If you found that marriage and raising a family is hard and don’t want to be the picture of “June Cleaver” you have to realize that how you “look” isn’t nearly important as the influence you have on your children and the support you provide to your spouse.
Who cares if you live in the suburbs and no longer dwell in an artist’s studio downtown? Your role is far more important today than it was 20 years ago when you were a hipster.
Your boss.
Career suicide is no way to rebel--ask Mel Gibson how that’s working out for him.
In fact, if you start rebelling at work (like a young 20 something Peter in Office Space) you may indeed end up in that prison he ultimately avoided (thanks to a fire).
Instead of having a tantrum at work, consider empowering yourself to change jobs or careers.
Rebelling at work in middle age will only give you a one-way ticket to the unemployment line.
Trying to match the same salary and position at your age may not be as easy as it was when you were in your 20’s. -
Step 2: Understand that you are most likely embarrassing your children.
Although it was probably pretty darn cool to be a rebellious, passionate young person, a rebellious middle aged person is not very sexy.
Although you may feel as though you don’t care what people think, you should be extremely aware of how your behavior is impacting your kids.
Courtney Love’s estranged child Frances Bean now refers to her mother as her “birth mother” and has begged her to get help numerous times.
They may be teased at school.
Think you are being the “cool” parent? Instead you may be coming off as the embarrassing parent because you act differently and rebelliously.
Kids pick up on parental behaviors and sometimes may find ways to single each other out and use that difference as leverage for teasing and even bullying.
Your family’s credibility with teachers and administrators may be diminished.
If your child’s teacher or school principal doesn’t believe that you are serious parent you may be missing out on opportunities for your child.
They may be dealing with their own feelings of rebellion and possibly feel as though they cannot fully express themselves because of your actions.
You can’t have an entire family of rebels so your children may have to take more of the parental role as you act out. , By the time you hit middle age, you may have made headway in your career or chipped away at a few goals.
Back in when you were in your 20’s you had to claw and fight your way to the top in order to prove yourself.
Now you just may be there.
Don't be ashamed that you’ve “gone establishment.” Part of young rage against the establishment is due to jealousy that upper management or the boss seems to have all the controls.
You know by now what you had to do to achieve your goals.
Don’t be embarrassed, but instead embrace your accomplishments.
Avoid being the “cool” boss in order to gain acceptance with the younger set.
Being approachable and acting as a mentor to younger staff members is great, however don’t sacrifice any accomplishments in order to be accepted on the same level as your younger cohorts. , Understand that attitudes about life change as people age.
It doesn’t mean that you’ve become “weak” or “soft” but that instead you’ve gained wisdom and insight into how to best expend your energies.
Tap into this inner power and use it to fight smarter not harder.
Know that some battles are not worth fighting.
Life lessons will most likely teach you that some fights are worth putting in the effort, whereas others are better left alone.
During your 20’s you may have been outraged and pushed back against just about everything ranging from disdain against eating meat to foreign affairs, however now that you are in your 40’s some of those vocally fought battles may not worth your time and effort. , Perhaps your passion is saving animals or politics--by the time you reach your 40’s you may now have the voice and the power to actually stop rebelling and actually do something with your passion.
Understand that some rebellious behavior can be self-destructive.
Know that your behavior most likely does not only negatively impact your life but your immediate family, including children.
Evaluate if your efforts are producing results.
If you are rebelling just for the sake of rebelling, it must be quite tiring.
Instead of banging your head against the wall, change your approach and try another way to follow your passion. -
Step 3: Realize that you no longer have to “fight the man” because most likely you actually are "the man”.
-
Step 4: Embrace this new era in your life where you can be confident about who you are and celebrate the accomplishments you’ve achieved.
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Step 5: Consider other productive ways you could be using this rebellious energy.
Detailed Guide
In some cases you may be passively aggressively rebelling against a dead end job or a lifeless marriage.
Before you can really stop being a “Rebel without a Cause” you need to know what are you fighting for? Political issues.
Feel an affinity with the Occupy movement and are ready to stand outside the biggest bank in town and have a fit? Before you pitch that tent and stock up on bottled water, decide if this is the best strategy for you and your family in order to let the government know how you feel.
Now that you are in your 40’s you most likely have connections and insight into how politics works in order to be more effective in getting your voice heard.
Sometimes the pen (or email in accordance to today’s standards) may work a little better.
Family members.
Still wanting to shock mom with outrageous clothing or crazy behavior? At this point mom is no longer shocked, she’s embarrassed and most likely considering professional help for you.
You are an adult now, act like one.
Your lifestyle choice.
If you found that marriage and raising a family is hard and don’t want to be the picture of “June Cleaver” you have to realize that how you “look” isn’t nearly important as the influence you have on your children and the support you provide to your spouse.
Who cares if you live in the suburbs and no longer dwell in an artist’s studio downtown? Your role is far more important today than it was 20 years ago when you were a hipster.
Your boss.
Career suicide is no way to rebel--ask Mel Gibson how that’s working out for him.
In fact, if you start rebelling at work (like a young 20 something Peter in Office Space) you may indeed end up in that prison he ultimately avoided (thanks to a fire).
Instead of having a tantrum at work, consider empowering yourself to change jobs or careers.
Rebelling at work in middle age will only give you a one-way ticket to the unemployment line.
Trying to match the same salary and position at your age may not be as easy as it was when you were in your 20’s.
Although it was probably pretty darn cool to be a rebellious, passionate young person, a rebellious middle aged person is not very sexy.
Although you may feel as though you don’t care what people think, you should be extremely aware of how your behavior is impacting your kids.
Courtney Love’s estranged child Frances Bean now refers to her mother as her “birth mother” and has begged her to get help numerous times.
They may be teased at school.
Think you are being the “cool” parent? Instead you may be coming off as the embarrassing parent because you act differently and rebelliously.
Kids pick up on parental behaviors and sometimes may find ways to single each other out and use that difference as leverage for teasing and even bullying.
Your family’s credibility with teachers and administrators may be diminished.
If your child’s teacher or school principal doesn’t believe that you are serious parent you may be missing out on opportunities for your child.
They may be dealing with their own feelings of rebellion and possibly feel as though they cannot fully express themselves because of your actions.
You can’t have an entire family of rebels so your children may have to take more of the parental role as you act out. , By the time you hit middle age, you may have made headway in your career or chipped away at a few goals.
Back in when you were in your 20’s you had to claw and fight your way to the top in order to prove yourself.
Now you just may be there.
Don't be ashamed that you’ve “gone establishment.” Part of young rage against the establishment is due to jealousy that upper management or the boss seems to have all the controls.
You know by now what you had to do to achieve your goals.
Don’t be embarrassed, but instead embrace your accomplishments.
Avoid being the “cool” boss in order to gain acceptance with the younger set.
Being approachable and acting as a mentor to younger staff members is great, however don’t sacrifice any accomplishments in order to be accepted on the same level as your younger cohorts. , Understand that attitudes about life change as people age.
It doesn’t mean that you’ve become “weak” or “soft” but that instead you’ve gained wisdom and insight into how to best expend your energies.
Tap into this inner power and use it to fight smarter not harder.
Know that some battles are not worth fighting.
Life lessons will most likely teach you that some fights are worth putting in the effort, whereas others are better left alone.
During your 20’s you may have been outraged and pushed back against just about everything ranging from disdain against eating meat to foreign affairs, however now that you are in your 40’s some of those vocally fought battles may not worth your time and effort. , Perhaps your passion is saving animals or politics--by the time you reach your 40’s you may now have the voice and the power to actually stop rebelling and actually do something with your passion.
Understand that some rebellious behavior can be self-destructive.
Know that your behavior most likely does not only negatively impact your life but your immediate family, including children.
Evaluate if your efforts are producing results.
If you are rebelling just for the sake of rebelling, it must be quite tiring.
Instead of banging your head against the wall, change your approach and try another way to follow your passion.
About the Author
Heather Moore
Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in pet care and beyond.
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