How to Stop Complaining
Learn assertiveness., Strive to adapt to change., Own your own mistakes., Offer constructive criticism instead.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Learn assertiveness.
Many people complain as a passive-aggressive tactic when they don’t know how to ask for what they want.
You might complain about doing certain activities or favors simply because you do not know how to say “no.” The first step in becoming more assertive is getting in touch with your own needs/wants and then being able to say no to things that do not align with them.Start small with assertiveness.
Express how you feel about an invitation that you need to decline, such as “Thanks for the invite to the birthday party, but I won’t be able to attend.” Use similar tactics for bigger issues as they come up.
Guilt also plays a huge role in not being able to say no, let go of the guilt because in all reality it would be impossible to say yes to every invitation or to every project someone asks you to help with.
You have just as much right as anyone else does to decide what things you can do and what things you cannot.
An honest reply should not come with guilt on your part. -
Step 2: Strive to adapt to change.
While change may be uncomfortable at times, it is important to understand that change is a constant part of life.Anxiety can play a role in not wanting to deal with change, but learning to recognize those feelings as being natural and also temporary can help in working past them.
Be willing to ask for clarification if you need to about to how things are going to change and request support as needed.
If you do need to speak up about an issue relating to some sort of change, find positive ways to assert yourself instead of complaining.
Offer solutions or suggestions for changes instead of pointing out the worst in the situation. , Accept responsibility for your part in the way things are.
Complaining can stem from not being ready to take ownership of your own role in either the problem or the solution.If you are unhappy in your current environment, own your part in getting to where you are.
This can be done by acknowledging your role just as you acknowledge others.
Also realize you are the only person with the power and responsibility to improve any aspect of your life if you are unhappy with it. , Unlike complaining, constructive criticism offers solutions or information to help the problem-solving process instead of just pointing out the negative in the situation.
Constructive criticism generally does not contain the negative undertones or blame that complaining or nagging does.
It is simply a way to stand up for yourself in naming and then fixing the problem.For example, if you have become frustrated at work by the way a co-worker performs a certain task you could complain about it by telling the co-worker their work is poor or making a big deal about having to re-do whatever project .
Or, you could say “Hi, Joey, your last project could use some improvements.
Is there any additional training you require to get up to par on ? What can we do to make sure the project is getting done correctly the first time?” -
Step 3: Own your own mistakes.
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Step 4: Offer constructive criticism instead.
Detailed Guide
Many people complain as a passive-aggressive tactic when they don’t know how to ask for what they want.
You might complain about doing certain activities or favors simply because you do not know how to say “no.” The first step in becoming more assertive is getting in touch with your own needs/wants and then being able to say no to things that do not align with them.Start small with assertiveness.
Express how you feel about an invitation that you need to decline, such as “Thanks for the invite to the birthday party, but I won’t be able to attend.” Use similar tactics for bigger issues as they come up.
Guilt also plays a huge role in not being able to say no, let go of the guilt because in all reality it would be impossible to say yes to every invitation or to every project someone asks you to help with.
You have just as much right as anyone else does to decide what things you can do and what things you cannot.
An honest reply should not come with guilt on your part.
While change may be uncomfortable at times, it is important to understand that change is a constant part of life.Anxiety can play a role in not wanting to deal with change, but learning to recognize those feelings as being natural and also temporary can help in working past them.
Be willing to ask for clarification if you need to about to how things are going to change and request support as needed.
If you do need to speak up about an issue relating to some sort of change, find positive ways to assert yourself instead of complaining.
Offer solutions or suggestions for changes instead of pointing out the worst in the situation. , Accept responsibility for your part in the way things are.
Complaining can stem from not being ready to take ownership of your own role in either the problem or the solution.If you are unhappy in your current environment, own your part in getting to where you are.
This can be done by acknowledging your role just as you acknowledge others.
Also realize you are the only person with the power and responsibility to improve any aspect of your life if you are unhappy with it. , Unlike complaining, constructive criticism offers solutions or information to help the problem-solving process instead of just pointing out the negative in the situation.
Constructive criticism generally does not contain the negative undertones or blame that complaining or nagging does.
It is simply a way to stand up for yourself in naming and then fixing the problem.For example, if you have become frustrated at work by the way a co-worker performs a certain task you could complain about it by telling the co-worker their work is poor or making a big deal about having to re-do whatever project .
Or, you could say “Hi, Joey, your last project could use some improvements.
Is there any additional training you require to get up to par on ? What can we do to make sure the project is getting done correctly the first time?”
About the Author
David White
Creates helpful guides on creative arts to inspire and educate readers.
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