How to Support Men As a Feminist
Question and fight restrictive gender roles., Value men's emotions., Support men in fatherhood and child care roles., Hold perpetrators accountable for sexism, harassment, abuse, and assault, and don't assume that their actions are typical for their...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Question and fight restrictive gender roles.
Both men and women have been forced to be ways because of gender, rather than allowing men to show emotion or women be assertive.
Speak up against the idea that masculinity is superior to femininity, and that a man who does feminine things is somehow inferior.
Speak up if you see boys or men being treated badly for liking "girly" things such as sewing, fashion, literature, "chick flicks"
TV shows aimed at women, "women's" clothes, or the color pink.If you see a man doing traditionally feminine things, smile and treat him exactly the same as you would if he were a man doing masculine things or a woman doing feminine things.
Pay special attention to how gay men are often stereotyped as "effeminate".
Gay people are just as diverse as straight people (this also includes bisexual people, asexual people, and the vast range of people and ways to be.) -
Step 2: Value men's emotions.
Men face a world in which they are told to "man up"
"boys don't cry"
and show little emotion--unless maybe it is anger.
Society considers expressing emotion to be feminine,and men who cry or show weakness may be ridiculed.This is bad for their health.Take a man seriously if he cries or expresses feelings.
Listen to him and treat his emotional expression like it is as natural as if it were done by a woman. , Men can be wonderful fathers, uncles, grandfathers, babysitters, teachers, and nannies.
A man caring for children should be regarded just as natural as a woman caring for children.Respect stay-at-home dads, or dads who put their family or their wife's career before their own.
Treat them like their decisions are completely normal and respectable.
Support men in their household activities.
Challenge the notion that certain hobbies or activities should be done only by women or only by men.
Whether a man is cooking, cleaning, gardening, or sewing, avoid the assumption that this is out of the gender norm.
Fight the idea that women (and only women) have an innate maternal instinct. Some women are good with children, some are not, some men are good with children, and some aren't.
Both maternal love and paternal love are natural and valuable.
A fathers does not "babysit" his children, he fathers them.
Stop using the term "sitter" for fathers.
It suggests that a father is the lesser caretaker.
It is both dismissive of fathers and suggests that only women can raise children. , Antifeminists and rape culture often act like men cannot control their urges, and it's natural for them to have sex drives or anger surges so strong that they hurt others.
This is a toxic and harmful message for boys and men.
Pose the idea that men are 100% capable of self-control, and that they know very well what is right and wrong.Hold rapists (male or otherwise) accountable, and never blame the victim.
Advocate for comprehensive sexual education including how to determine if you have consent,stay safe, manage power dynamics in relationships, handle sexual frustration, and recognize the signs of a dangerous relationship.
Fight the idea that men have uncontrollable sex drives. , Abuse and assault are terrible tragedies,and it's important that emotional support support and health care are available to victims.Work for a world in which all victims are taken seriously, and male victims are not derided as weaklings, inferior men, or "gays" (which raises additional issues of homophobia).
If someone says they have been raped, believe them.
Between only 2-8% of rape allegations are false,and many victims stay quiet because they fear they will not be taken seriously.Challenge people who laugh at the idea of rape, state that men can not be victims,or make fun of male abuse victims.
Work for the availability of rape crisis centers, counseling, and other resources.
Male, female, and non-binary victims all deserve support. , Consent is one of the key values of feminism,and infants cannot consent to a medically unnecessary, permanent procedure.Keep in mind that not all children who are circumcised are boys.
Intersex babies and transgender babies with XY chromosomes are also circumcised.
Feminists are somewhat split on circumcision, as there are concerns that banning it outright would cause people to do it underground, which would put the babies' health at risk. , Forced conscription of men into the army goes against the value of consent—men should only fight in wars if they choose to do so.
If a draft is ever used in your country, speak up against it. Feminists have historically argued against the draft., Men are more likely to successfully commit suicide,and may be discouraged from seeking help because they view it as a sign of weakness.
Work on reducing the stigma of mental illness, and support people with disorders from depression to schizophrenia. , Advocate to let boys and men be free of pressures to appear more masculine or aggressive.Masculinity should be a choice, not a restriction.
As a parent, be conscious of how you treat your children.
Parents (even parents who think they are treating their children equally) tend to be harsher on boys.Give your sons the same compassion, patience, and affection that you give to your daughters.
Treat a crying boy the same way you'd treat a crying girl. , You aren't here only for the white, cishet, non-disabled, thin, etc. men—you're working to help all men.
Spend time on intersectional issues such as racism, classism, LGBT+ rights, and more.
There are many ways to support men that aren't focused only on gender; getting involved in these social issues supports men facing these other hurdles, as well.
Here are some examples:
Fighting the frequent execution of men of color and disabled men by American police Working to help transgender men be viewed as fully male, and to lower the high mortality rates due to murder and suicide Campaigning for the rights of disabled people (including men) Working against homophobia, biphobia, acephobia, and other discrimination against LGBT+ people (including men). , Sexism hurts everyone, and to support men as a group and as individuals, it's important to fight gender-based stereotypes, expectations, and discrimination.
Giving equal rights to everyone makes the world a better place for everyone, including men.
Without compulsory masculinity, men could do whatever they wanted regardless of the gender binary.
If men and women earned the same amount of money, then men wouldn't usually need to pay alimony in divorce, nor would the custom of men paying for dates have much use.
If women had less barriers at school and work, they could be more productive and innovative, improving the economy overall. -
Step 3: Support men in fatherhood and child care roles.
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Step 4: Hold perpetrators accountable for sexism
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Step 5: harassment
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Step 6: and assault
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Step 7: and don't assume that their actions are typical for their gender.
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Step 8: Support male rape and abuse victims.
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Step 9: Consider campaigning against routine infant circumcision.
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Step 10: Argue against the draft.
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Step 11: Seek to support people with mental health issues.
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Step 12: Seek for an end to toxic masculinity.Men should feel free to be as masculine or feminine as they please
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Step 13: without society pushing them to "be a man" and alter their personal choices.
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Step 14: Fight hard for intersectional issues.
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Step 15: Work for an end to sexism and the embrace of diversity.
Detailed Guide
Both men and women have been forced to be ways because of gender, rather than allowing men to show emotion or women be assertive.
Speak up against the idea that masculinity is superior to femininity, and that a man who does feminine things is somehow inferior.
Speak up if you see boys or men being treated badly for liking "girly" things such as sewing, fashion, literature, "chick flicks"
TV shows aimed at women, "women's" clothes, or the color pink.If you see a man doing traditionally feminine things, smile and treat him exactly the same as you would if he were a man doing masculine things or a woman doing feminine things.
Pay special attention to how gay men are often stereotyped as "effeminate".
Gay people are just as diverse as straight people (this also includes bisexual people, asexual people, and the vast range of people and ways to be.)
Men face a world in which they are told to "man up"
"boys don't cry"
and show little emotion--unless maybe it is anger.
Society considers expressing emotion to be feminine,and men who cry or show weakness may be ridiculed.This is bad for their health.Take a man seriously if he cries or expresses feelings.
Listen to him and treat his emotional expression like it is as natural as if it were done by a woman. , Men can be wonderful fathers, uncles, grandfathers, babysitters, teachers, and nannies.
A man caring for children should be regarded just as natural as a woman caring for children.Respect stay-at-home dads, or dads who put their family or their wife's career before their own.
Treat them like their decisions are completely normal and respectable.
Support men in their household activities.
Challenge the notion that certain hobbies or activities should be done only by women or only by men.
Whether a man is cooking, cleaning, gardening, or sewing, avoid the assumption that this is out of the gender norm.
Fight the idea that women (and only women) have an innate maternal instinct. Some women are good with children, some are not, some men are good with children, and some aren't.
Both maternal love and paternal love are natural and valuable.
A fathers does not "babysit" his children, he fathers them.
Stop using the term "sitter" for fathers.
It suggests that a father is the lesser caretaker.
It is both dismissive of fathers and suggests that only women can raise children. , Antifeminists and rape culture often act like men cannot control their urges, and it's natural for them to have sex drives or anger surges so strong that they hurt others.
This is a toxic and harmful message for boys and men.
Pose the idea that men are 100% capable of self-control, and that they know very well what is right and wrong.Hold rapists (male or otherwise) accountable, and never blame the victim.
Advocate for comprehensive sexual education including how to determine if you have consent,stay safe, manage power dynamics in relationships, handle sexual frustration, and recognize the signs of a dangerous relationship.
Fight the idea that men have uncontrollable sex drives. , Abuse and assault are terrible tragedies,and it's important that emotional support support and health care are available to victims.Work for a world in which all victims are taken seriously, and male victims are not derided as weaklings, inferior men, or "gays" (which raises additional issues of homophobia).
If someone says they have been raped, believe them.
Between only 2-8% of rape allegations are false,and many victims stay quiet because they fear they will not be taken seriously.Challenge people who laugh at the idea of rape, state that men can not be victims,or make fun of male abuse victims.
Work for the availability of rape crisis centers, counseling, and other resources.
Male, female, and non-binary victims all deserve support. , Consent is one of the key values of feminism,and infants cannot consent to a medically unnecessary, permanent procedure.Keep in mind that not all children who are circumcised are boys.
Intersex babies and transgender babies with XY chromosomes are also circumcised.
Feminists are somewhat split on circumcision, as there are concerns that banning it outright would cause people to do it underground, which would put the babies' health at risk. , Forced conscription of men into the army goes against the value of consent—men should only fight in wars if they choose to do so.
If a draft is ever used in your country, speak up against it. Feminists have historically argued against the draft., Men are more likely to successfully commit suicide,and may be discouraged from seeking help because they view it as a sign of weakness.
Work on reducing the stigma of mental illness, and support people with disorders from depression to schizophrenia. , Advocate to let boys and men be free of pressures to appear more masculine or aggressive.Masculinity should be a choice, not a restriction.
As a parent, be conscious of how you treat your children.
Parents (even parents who think they are treating their children equally) tend to be harsher on boys.Give your sons the same compassion, patience, and affection that you give to your daughters.
Treat a crying boy the same way you'd treat a crying girl. , You aren't here only for the white, cishet, non-disabled, thin, etc. men—you're working to help all men.
Spend time on intersectional issues such as racism, classism, LGBT+ rights, and more.
There are many ways to support men that aren't focused only on gender; getting involved in these social issues supports men facing these other hurdles, as well.
Here are some examples:
Fighting the frequent execution of men of color and disabled men by American police Working to help transgender men be viewed as fully male, and to lower the high mortality rates due to murder and suicide Campaigning for the rights of disabled people (including men) Working against homophobia, biphobia, acephobia, and other discrimination against LGBT+ people (including men). , Sexism hurts everyone, and to support men as a group and as individuals, it's important to fight gender-based stereotypes, expectations, and discrimination.
Giving equal rights to everyone makes the world a better place for everyone, including men.
Without compulsory masculinity, men could do whatever they wanted regardless of the gender binary.
If men and women earned the same amount of money, then men wouldn't usually need to pay alimony in divorce, nor would the custom of men paying for dates have much use.
If women had less barriers at school and work, they could be more productive and innovative, improving the economy overall.
About the Author
Frank Long
Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in home improvement and beyond.
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