How to Tell if Someone Is Pretending to Have an Illness
Consider whether your personal biases are coloring your judgment., Ask the person if they're okay initially., Give them a little extra attention., Offer opportunities for them to be heard (if you believe they want attention)., Ask the person exactly...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Consider whether your personal biases are coloring your judgment.
If you have a derogatory viewpoint towards certain illnesses or disabilities, you may inaccurately judge people to be faking when their symptoms are real.
Do you feel that mental illnesses are signs of personal weakness, or that people see them as trends? Do you believe that symptoms aren't real until they are validated by a doctor? Do you think there is only one "right" way to have an illness/disability? (For example, that menstrual cramps can't be bad because yours rarely bother you, or autism isn't real if the person doesn't talk or "look normal") Do you think that if you can't see the symptoms, it means they aren't there? -
Step 2: Ask the person if they're okay initially.
Ask them what's wrong and if they need any help.
If they are experiencing pain, such as a migraine or stomachache, offer them pain relief (if you have any tablets).
Make sure that the pills aren't too powerful and won't make them sick.
Most over-the-counter medications won't cause illness in healthy people, but check to make sure. , If they just want extra affection and love, they may stop faking it if you devote a bit more time to them.
Give it a try and see what happens.
Bring up your relationship. "Joey, I've noticed that we haven't hung out very much lately.
I was thinking we should spend more time together.
Have you felt this way?" This might be the opportunity they needed to ask for more attention.
Schedule regular time together, like a walk after supper every evening, or playing basketball together every Sunday morning.
Don't make the attention explicitly related to the illness.
If you do, they may worry that if they stop pretending to be sick, then you will stop paying attention to them. , Work on listening well and caring what they have to say.
Let your shoulder be available for crying.
If you are there to listen to them and care for them when they are feeling upset, the need for a fake illness will disappear. , If they claim they have a mental or physical illness without any obvious external symptoms, ask them what the illness actually is.
They should give you a definition.
Ask them what symptoms they experience, then go home and research the illness they say they have.
Someone who pretends to have an illness may only have looked up a few symptoms and so may not fully reflect the symptoms.
Notice how they react when gently questioned.
Do they seem defensive or proud of themselves? Or do their emotions feel genuine? Use a kind, non-aggressive tone when asking questions.
If they really aren't faking it, it could be hurtful if you act like they are. , Getting a diagnosis and medical help from a doctor is an important part of medical treatment.
Some people self-diagnose, so they don't actually have any evidence that they do have the illness.
Someone who has been or intends to go to their doctor is probably not faking any type of medical condition.
A few people self-diagnose before seeing a doctor, can't afford a non-emergency doctor visit, or are afraid of disability/mental illness diagnoses because they could lead to discrimination.
This does not make their illness any less real.
Most self-diagnosis occurs after weeks or months of research from medical journals, and reading the experiences of people who have the illness.
Inquire about their research process, or how long they've suspected it. , If the person is young and living with their parents, ask their parents if they know what's going on.
Hopefully, if your friend's parents or a spouse/partner figures out what's going on, they can step in and help the person sort out the need for using the fake illness.
Remember, you're not trying to get the person in trouble, you just want to find out what's going on and how to help.
It is usually rude to say that you suspect they're faking.
Treat it like a genuine problem as you ask for more information.
Say you want to help them (assuming you do, truly, wish to help this person, whether they are faking or not). , If this has been going on for a long time, you need to take action.
They may not have the illness, but they might have a condition called Munchausen's syndrome.
This is when someone pretends to have an illness, usually for attention.
However, the fake illness life can go on for so long that the person does actually believe they have it, so it can affect their lifestyle greatly.
Hypochondria or anxiety disorders are also possibilities.
Tell the person you are very worried about them and insist that they go to a doctor.
Say you'll worry about them until they go.
Offer to come with if you want.
Tip off someone, such as their parents or best friend.
Choose someone who has enough sway with the person to be able to help. , Whatever their reasons, this person probably doesn't mean you any harm.
Assume the best, treat them well, and give them love.
Whatever is going on with them, it probably isn't any fun, and they could use all the help they can get. -
Step 3: Give them a little extra attention.
-
Step 4: Offer opportunities for them to be heard (if you believe they want attention).
-
Step 5: Ask the person exactly what their illness is.
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Step 6: Ask the person whether they have been to see the doctor.
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Step 7: Ask people close to the person
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Step 8: such as their parents
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Step 9: spouse/partner or close friends.
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Step 10: Take action.
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Step 11: Support them.
Detailed Guide
If you have a derogatory viewpoint towards certain illnesses or disabilities, you may inaccurately judge people to be faking when their symptoms are real.
Do you feel that mental illnesses are signs of personal weakness, or that people see them as trends? Do you believe that symptoms aren't real until they are validated by a doctor? Do you think there is only one "right" way to have an illness/disability? (For example, that menstrual cramps can't be bad because yours rarely bother you, or autism isn't real if the person doesn't talk or "look normal") Do you think that if you can't see the symptoms, it means they aren't there?
Ask them what's wrong and if they need any help.
If they are experiencing pain, such as a migraine or stomachache, offer them pain relief (if you have any tablets).
Make sure that the pills aren't too powerful and won't make them sick.
Most over-the-counter medications won't cause illness in healthy people, but check to make sure. , If they just want extra affection and love, they may stop faking it if you devote a bit more time to them.
Give it a try and see what happens.
Bring up your relationship. "Joey, I've noticed that we haven't hung out very much lately.
I was thinking we should spend more time together.
Have you felt this way?" This might be the opportunity they needed to ask for more attention.
Schedule regular time together, like a walk after supper every evening, or playing basketball together every Sunday morning.
Don't make the attention explicitly related to the illness.
If you do, they may worry that if they stop pretending to be sick, then you will stop paying attention to them. , Work on listening well and caring what they have to say.
Let your shoulder be available for crying.
If you are there to listen to them and care for them when they are feeling upset, the need for a fake illness will disappear. , If they claim they have a mental or physical illness without any obvious external symptoms, ask them what the illness actually is.
They should give you a definition.
Ask them what symptoms they experience, then go home and research the illness they say they have.
Someone who pretends to have an illness may only have looked up a few symptoms and so may not fully reflect the symptoms.
Notice how they react when gently questioned.
Do they seem defensive or proud of themselves? Or do their emotions feel genuine? Use a kind, non-aggressive tone when asking questions.
If they really aren't faking it, it could be hurtful if you act like they are. , Getting a diagnosis and medical help from a doctor is an important part of medical treatment.
Some people self-diagnose, so they don't actually have any evidence that they do have the illness.
Someone who has been or intends to go to their doctor is probably not faking any type of medical condition.
A few people self-diagnose before seeing a doctor, can't afford a non-emergency doctor visit, or are afraid of disability/mental illness diagnoses because they could lead to discrimination.
This does not make their illness any less real.
Most self-diagnosis occurs after weeks or months of research from medical journals, and reading the experiences of people who have the illness.
Inquire about their research process, or how long they've suspected it. , If the person is young and living with their parents, ask their parents if they know what's going on.
Hopefully, if your friend's parents or a spouse/partner figures out what's going on, they can step in and help the person sort out the need for using the fake illness.
Remember, you're not trying to get the person in trouble, you just want to find out what's going on and how to help.
It is usually rude to say that you suspect they're faking.
Treat it like a genuine problem as you ask for more information.
Say you want to help them (assuming you do, truly, wish to help this person, whether they are faking or not). , If this has been going on for a long time, you need to take action.
They may not have the illness, but they might have a condition called Munchausen's syndrome.
This is when someone pretends to have an illness, usually for attention.
However, the fake illness life can go on for so long that the person does actually believe they have it, so it can affect their lifestyle greatly.
Hypochondria or anxiety disorders are also possibilities.
Tell the person you are very worried about them and insist that they go to a doctor.
Say you'll worry about them until they go.
Offer to come with if you want.
Tip off someone, such as their parents or best friend.
Choose someone who has enough sway with the person to be able to help. , Whatever their reasons, this person probably doesn't mean you any harm.
Assume the best, treat them well, and give them love.
Whatever is going on with them, it probably isn't any fun, and they could use all the help they can get.
About the Author
Katherine Mendoza
Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in practical skills and beyond.
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