How to Tell if Your Guy or Girl Is Lying to You

Reject myths about body language., Know the few patterns that exist., Accept your own strengths and weaknesses., Learn cultural differences.

4 Steps 3 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Reject myths about body language.

    There is no one universal sign for lying, otherwise no one would be able to lie successfully! Someone’s body language is the result of their current situation, energy level, personality, confidence, and intimacy with you.There are many behaviors that are commonly associated with lying, which then people avoid doing while they are lying to avoid getting caught.

    For example, it is often believed that looking down is a sign of lying, and so many liars avoid looking down when lying.

    Some people develop particular ticks, habits, or responses for certain emotions or situations they’re in.

    If you know these, you might be able to catch a lie.

    For example, if you know your son usually smiles when he lies, you can use that body language as an indicator.

    If you know someone’s ticks and habits, it is likely that the person knows them too.

    Most people compensate to avoid body language that might be a cue that someone is lying.

    For example, if you and your son both know that he usually smiles when lying, your son might avoid smiling during a lie to mislead you.
  2. Step 2: Know the few patterns that exist.

    Though there are no universal signs of lies, there are general trends of body language that indicate lying.

    People who are lying are generally more tense: their pupils dilate, and they are more likely to fidget with their bodies.

    People who are lying also generally try to look like they’re indifferent.

    However, someone may have be fidgeting or look indifferent, and not be lying The patterns of body language vary wildly from person to person Pupil dilation can happen for a number of reasons other than lying , Body language is a “nonverbal channel,” or a way through which you can receive messages from other people that does not involve words or speaking.

    There are three main channels: kinesics (facial expressions, eye contact, and body language), haptics (touch), and proxemics (personal space).

    Generally speaking, you are going to be the most skilled at understanding kinesics, and then proxemics, and then touch.People are usually better at understanding pleasant kinesics rather than than unpleasant.

    So, that means you will be better at spotting happiness and excitement, in contrast to fear, disgust, or lyingIf you do not understand what proxemics means exactly, do this test.

    The next time you are in a line for something with strangers, stand in line as you usually would.

    Now take a whole step closer to the person in front of you.

    Does the shorter distance feel more uncomfortable? Does the other person adjust according to your own movement? The nonverbal communication about personal space is proxemics. , Nonverbal messages differ by culture.

    For example, in Finnish culture, when someone makes eye contact, she is sending a signal of friendliness.Alternatively, in Japanese culture, when someone makes eye contact, the are interpreted to be expressing anger.Remember the cultural context of you, your guy or girl, and the situation you’re in.
  3. Step 3: Accept your own strengths and weaknesses.

  4. Step 4: Learn cultural differences.

Detailed Guide

There is no one universal sign for lying, otherwise no one would be able to lie successfully! Someone’s body language is the result of their current situation, energy level, personality, confidence, and intimacy with you.There are many behaviors that are commonly associated with lying, which then people avoid doing while they are lying to avoid getting caught.

For example, it is often believed that looking down is a sign of lying, and so many liars avoid looking down when lying.

Some people develop particular ticks, habits, or responses for certain emotions or situations they’re in.

If you know these, you might be able to catch a lie.

For example, if you know your son usually smiles when he lies, you can use that body language as an indicator.

If you know someone’s ticks and habits, it is likely that the person knows them too.

Most people compensate to avoid body language that might be a cue that someone is lying.

For example, if you and your son both know that he usually smiles when lying, your son might avoid smiling during a lie to mislead you.

Though there are no universal signs of lies, there are general trends of body language that indicate lying.

People who are lying are generally more tense: their pupils dilate, and they are more likely to fidget with their bodies.

People who are lying also generally try to look like they’re indifferent.

However, someone may have be fidgeting or look indifferent, and not be lying The patterns of body language vary wildly from person to person Pupil dilation can happen for a number of reasons other than lying , Body language is a “nonverbal channel,” or a way through which you can receive messages from other people that does not involve words or speaking.

There are three main channels: kinesics (facial expressions, eye contact, and body language), haptics (touch), and proxemics (personal space).

Generally speaking, you are going to be the most skilled at understanding kinesics, and then proxemics, and then touch.People are usually better at understanding pleasant kinesics rather than than unpleasant.

So, that means you will be better at spotting happiness and excitement, in contrast to fear, disgust, or lyingIf you do not understand what proxemics means exactly, do this test.

The next time you are in a line for something with strangers, stand in line as you usually would.

Now take a whole step closer to the person in front of you.

Does the shorter distance feel more uncomfortable? Does the other person adjust according to your own movement? The nonverbal communication about personal space is proxemics. , Nonverbal messages differ by culture.

For example, in Finnish culture, when someone makes eye contact, she is sending a signal of friendliness.Alternatively, in Japanese culture, when someone makes eye contact, the are interpreted to be expressing anger.Remember the cultural context of you, your guy or girl, and the situation you’re in.

About the Author

C

Charlotte Harvey

Experienced content creator specializing in hobbies guides and tutorials.

98 articles
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