How to Understand Girls
Understand why girls act differently., Recognize that girls are socialized to hide feelings too, just in different ways than boys are., Remember that every woman is different., If she wants you to leave her alone, she may stay farther away from you...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Understand why girls act differently.
Men are often confused by female actions and reactions, and some will write them off as "crazy." However, there are logical reasons behind anyone's behavior.
For women, many of these behavioral differences have something to do with a thing called "socialization." Socialization is all of the positive and negative influences the world and other people have on a person; it affects their personality, beliefs, attitudes, and worldview.
Some examples of socialization include:
The idea of some toys being "for girls" and others being "for boys." Some people have started to defy this idea in recent years; however, it's still a general rule that dolls and kitchen sets are "for girls" and trucks and toy weapons are "for boys." The belief that femininity is inferior.
Typically this is an undertone, not overt.
Think about it: calling a girl "boyish" or a "tomboy" is a harmless description, while calling a boy "girly" is an insult. "Chick flicks" are made fun of.
Stereotypically female pastimes, such as shopping and getting beauty treatments, are seen as shallow or silly, even by many females, who consider themselves superior for liking sports or books.
Cultural standards of beauty.
In most Western nations, the ideal woman, according to TV and magazines, is thin, with flawless skin and gorgeous hair.
This gives girls an impossible standard to strive for. -
Step 2: Recognize that girls are socialized to hide feelings too
A "good girl" is quiet, obedient, and very, very polite.
Thus, girls might feel that it is inconvenient to others if they express less-than-cheerful feelings, or say that they are upset by something you did. , This article is here to offer you a general idea of what women are like.
However, it certainly cannot speak for every woman.
Use these steps as a guide and work from there. , She may look elsewhere or seem disinterested, stressed, or sad.
Try mentioning that you have something to do.
This allows both parties to tactfully end the conversation so that she can get her needed quiet time. , She will act differently than normal, and probably break down or start talking if you gently ask if something is wrong once or twice.
Many girls don't show when they are struggling, no matter how much they would like to be comforted or helped. , Girls might act cold and aloof when you have upset them.
Conversations with you may be cut short, and she may seem hurt or frustrated.
She might suddenly prefer the company of other people.
In this case, it's especially important to ask her what is wrong.
After that conversation, give her a reminder of how much you love her (a big hug, kind words, giving ice cream, a romantic date, etc.). , Some girls don't feel comfortable with speaking up when they disagree, so instead she may withdraw.
This is especially likely if you are saying something sexist or otherwise insensitive, or are insulting something or someone she cares about.
Ask what is wrong before you assume it is your fault.
For example, maybe you mentioned a person who was being a total jerk, and it reminded her of the guy who has been bullying her.
Her sadness may not be your fault. , She might find excuses to touch you.
Some even are clumsy around guys they like.
She will be receptive to prolonged eye contact (unless she is very shy or autistic), and like it if you pay a lot of attention to her.
Some girls like confident guys, others like bashful guys, others don't care.
Instead of putting on a facade, work on being the best version of yourself, and capitalize upon your best traits.
If you're compatible, it'll work out. , Take it slowly, first touching her hair or her arm, and seeing how she responds.
If she likes it and looks ready, go in for the kiss. , When she is with you, she will act nicer and more distracted than normal. , Every girl is different, so don't expect her to always follow the patterns above.
As you spend more time with her, you'll learn the unique way she responds to different situations.
Personality, experiences, and disabilities such as autism can affect body language , Listening is more than hearing what she says: don't distract yourself, ask questions to help you understand, and focus on what she is saying (not on what you are going to say). , Everyone handles difficult situations differently.
Maybe she takes a walk, boxes with a punching bag, talks to her older sister, or becomes incredibly sweet.
When you know she's having a hard time, pay attention to what she does to cope.
This can help you notice problems even when she is feigning a smile.
If you notice that a certain coping mechanism soothes her, keep it in mind so you can help.
For example, if your wife finds the dog calming and is stressed at a family reunion, tell her that you think the dog could use a short walk.
Then she can relax a little with the dog. , You don't have to be able to read her mind.
If you notice that something seems off, take her aside and ask if something is upsetting her.
If you listen closely and let her take as much time as she needs to talk, she will probably reveal what is on her mind.
Validate her feelings.
Being nonjudgmental is key.
Seek to understand first, and then try to work together to fix the problem.
If you upset her, don't defend yourself.
Take a deep breath, be strong, and listen.
Apologize for hurting her.
It is okay to explain your actions, but don't try to excuse them. , When you bring up the subject, she will smile more and talk a lot, and she looks in her element when engaging with it.
It could be anything from computer programming to punk rock.
If you are romantically interested in her, try learning a bit about the subject.
Ask her to teach you something, or look it up independently.
See if her favorite topics overlap with things you like.
This could be a great way to connect. -
Step 3: just in different ways than boys are.
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Step 4: Remember that every woman is different.
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Step 5: If she wants you to leave her alone
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Step 6: she may stay farther away from you than normal and not talk as much.
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Step 7: If she is sad
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Step 8: she might try to act like things are fine
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Step 9: making this a little harder to figure out.
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Step 10: If she is mad at you
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Step 11: she will act like you don't care about her.
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Step 12: She may become quiet if you say something that upsets her.
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Step 13: If a girl likes you
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Step 14: she will most likely act either really flirty
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Step 15: play with her hair or stare at you when you are around her or talking to her.
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Step 16: If she looks at you and smiles when it is silent
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Step 17: and plays with her hair and bites her lip she might be hinting for you to kiss her.
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Step 18: If she might be cheating on you
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Step 19: she might act defensive and will be gone more than usual
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Step 20: or just not hang out with you a lot.
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Step 21: Get to know how she responds in different situations.
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Step 22: Take time to listen closely to her.
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Step 23: Notice her mannerisms and coping mechanisms when she's stressed.
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Step 24: When you think something is wrong or aren't sure
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Step 25: Find out what makes her "glow."
Detailed Guide
Men are often confused by female actions and reactions, and some will write them off as "crazy." However, there are logical reasons behind anyone's behavior.
For women, many of these behavioral differences have something to do with a thing called "socialization." Socialization is all of the positive and negative influences the world and other people have on a person; it affects their personality, beliefs, attitudes, and worldview.
Some examples of socialization include:
The idea of some toys being "for girls" and others being "for boys." Some people have started to defy this idea in recent years; however, it's still a general rule that dolls and kitchen sets are "for girls" and trucks and toy weapons are "for boys." The belief that femininity is inferior.
Typically this is an undertone, not overt.
Think about it: calling a girl "boyish" or a "tomboy" is a harmless description, while calling a boy "girly" is an insult. "Chick flicks" are made fun of.
Stereotypically female pastimes, such as shopping and getting beauty treatments, are seen as shallow or silly, even by many females, who consider themselves superior for liking sports or books.
Cultural standards of beauty.
In most Western nations, the ideal woman, according to TV and magazines, is thin, with flawless skin and gorgeous hair.
This gives girls an impossible standard to strive for.
A "good girl" is quiet, obedient, and very, very polite.
Thus, girls might feel that it is inconvenient to others if they express less-than-cheerful feelings, or say that they are upset by something you did. , This article is here to offer you a general idea of what women are like.
However, it certainly cannot speak for every woman.
Use these steps as a guide and work from there. , She may look elsewhere or seem disinterested, stressed, or sad.
Try mentioning that you have something to do.
This allows both parties to tactfully end the conversation so that she can get her needed quiet time. , She will act differently than normal, and probably break down or start talking if you gently ask if something is wrong once or twice.
Many girls don't show when they are struggling, no matter how much they would like to be comforted or helped. , Girls might act cold and aloof when you have upset them.
Conversations with you may be cut short, and she may seem hurt or frustrated.
She might suddenly prefer the company of other people.
In this case, it's especially important to ask her what is wrong.
After that conversation, give her a reminder of how much you love her (a big hug, kind words, giving ice cream, a romantic date, etc.). , Some girls don't feel comfortable with speaking up when they disagree, so instead she may withdraw.
This is especially likely if you are saying something sexist or otherwise insensitive, or are insulting something or someone she cares about.
Ask what is wrong before you assume it is your fault.
For example, maybe you mentioned a person who was being a total jerk, and it reminded her of the guy who has been bullying her.
Her sadness may not be your fault. , She might find excuses to touch you.
Some even are clumsy around guys they like.
She will be receptive to prolonged eye contact (unless she is very shy or autistic), and like it if you pay a lot of attention to her.
Some girls like confident guys, others like bashful guys, others don't care.
Instead of putting on a facade, work on being the best version of yourself, and capitalize upon your best traits.
If you're compatible, it'll work out. , Take it slowly, first touching her hair or her arm, and seeing how she responds.
If she likes it and looks ready, go in for the kiss. , When she is with you, she will act nicer and more distracted than normal. , Every girl is different, so don't expect her to always follow the patterns above.
As you spend more time with her, you'll learn the unique way she responds to different situations.
Personality, experiences, and disabilities such as autism can affect body language , Listening is more than hearing what she says: don't distract yourself, ask questions to help you understand, and focus on what she is saying (not on what you are going to say). , Everyone handles difficult situations differently.
Maybe she takes a walk, boxes with a punching bag, talks to her older sister, or becomes incredibly sweet.
When you know she's having a hard time, pay attention to what she does to cope.
This can help you notice problems even when she is feigning a smile.
If you notice that a certain coping mechanism soothes her, keep it in mind so you can help.
For example, if your wife finds the dog calming and is stressed at a family reunion, tell her that you think the dog could use a short walk.
Then she can relax a little with the dog. , You don't have to be able to read her mind.
If you notice that something seems off, take her aside and ask if something is upsetting her.
If you listen closely and let her take as much time as she needs to talk, she will probably reveal what is on her mind.
Validate her feelings.
Being nonjudgmental is key.
Seek to understand first, and then try to work together to fix the problem.
If you upset her, don't defend yourself.
Take a deep breath, be strong, and listen.
Apologize for hurting her.
It is okay to explain your actions, but don't try to excuse them. , When you bring up the subject, she will smile more and talk a lot, and she looks in her element when engaging with it.
It could be anything from computer programming to punk rock.
If you are romantically interested in her, try learning a bit about the subject.
Ask her to teach you something, or look it up independently.
See if her favorite topics overlap with things you like.
This could be a great way to connect.
About the Author
Joshua Mitchell
Experienced content creator specializing in home improvement guides and tutorials.
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