How to Get Your Cat to Know and Love You

Socialize your cat as early as possible., Be patient with older cats., Create a comfortable environment for the cat., Keep a respectful distance., Use a pheromone diffuser to calm a scared cat., Pet the cat gently when it invites you to., Pick up...

8 Steps 5 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Socialize your cat as early as possible.

    To build a strong relationship with a cat, you must first ensure that it is comfortable with people in general.

    Socializing young kittens is important for their future relationships with people.

    Socialization with people between 2 and 7 weeks of age sets the stage for the rest of the cat’s life.Socialization includes holding the kitten and encouraging it to interact with people and animals.

    These interactions need to be pleasant for the cat to want to continue them in the future.Consider kitten socialization classes.

    Your veterinarian likely has some resources for you to consider.
  2. Step 2: Be patient with older cats.

    If you have an older cat, don't despair.

    You can still work with it.

    Positive interactions go a long way at all ages to make friends with a cat.

    Even a cat that has been feral (living wild, without people) for up to four years can be socialized.Socializing an older cat requires a great deal more time an patience.

    The steps described in this article still apply.

    But, you should be prepared for the cat to take a much longer time to accept you. , A cat won’t want to socialize if it doesn’t feel comfortable and safe.

    Create a calm and non-threatening environment when introducing a new cat to your home.

    Begin by putting it in a quiet room where it can get comfortable in the space.

    Your bedroom is a good choice.

    Spending time here will help your cat get used to your scent.Gradually allow the cat to explore more of the environment as it becomes more comfortable.

    Give the cat comfortable and fun surfaces to lay on (and in).

    A cat tree can be great for a cat that needs a little security and a place to call their own.

    The cat should have access to food, water, a litter box, and a scratching post., Don’t hover over or crowd the cat.

    By staying calm and keeping your distance, you’re showing the cat you aren’t a threat and it shouldn’t fear you.

    This is especially important for older cats that are not used to spending time around people.

    Giving a cat like this too much attention will actually do more harm than good.

    You must let a cat like this come to you.

    Sit and read or watch TV, ignoring the cat.

    Scatter treats or the cat’s food around the room and encourage the cat to hang out and hunt for food.The cat will follow the treats and slowly get closer to you.

    Stay still.

    Don’t reach out or talk to the kitty at first.

    Let them get used to hanging out in the same room.

    The food is creating a positive association with you being nearby.

    Let the cat come to you.

    Dangle or toss a toy to make yourself more interesting.

    Don’t try to pet the cat right away, as you may scare it.

    Let your presence be non-threatening at first, then work up to petting the cat, even one pet at a time.

    Don’t push it, or you will need to start over winning your cat’s trust.Remember that it may take awhile for your cat to know that you do not intend to harm it.

    It doesn't know you yet.

    Show it your love by being patient when it is new to your home. , These diffusers contain a calming cat pheromone that can help an anxious cat feel comfortable and relaxed.

    Pheromone diffusers are very simple to use.

    All you have to do is plug them into a wall outlet, like many commercial air-freshening products.

    Then, just check them periodically to ensure they haven't run out of liquid.

    You can find these diffusers at most pet and online retailers. , Cats are easily over-stimulated, and a cat will become anxious or defensive if you try to show it affection when it isn’t welcome.

    Make sure the cat associates you with wanted, gentle affection, not anxiety.

    Gently pet the cat if it rubs against you.

    When your cat rubs itself on your body, that is a friendly gesture.

    Reinforce the connection it is making with you by taking the opportunity to pet.

    Cats like to have their heads and necks scratched.

    They also like gentle pets on the back, right where the spine meets the tail.Full-back strokes can be overstimulating and cause a cat distress to the point it may claw or bite you.

    Offering a treat after handling your cat helps it create a positive association with touch., Pet the cat as long as it seems to enjoy it, and then pick it up and deliver it to a nice sunny spot or to food.

    You are trying to create the idea that being picked up is a good thing.

    Don't forcibly hold a cat that doesn't want you to.This could break the trust you have built up with them.

    This is especially crucial for older cats.

    There are times when you will need to pick up your cat against its will, for instance when you need to put it in a carrier.

    Be sure to do this as gently as possible, making sure to calm the cat with a nice tone of voice, petting, and perhaps even treats. , Fearful and anxious adult cats may need prescription medication to help the socialization process.

    Talk to your veterinarian if the suggestions above don't seem to work.There are veterinary behavior specialists that may be able to help in extreme cases.

    Ask your regular vet for a referral.
  3. Step 3: Create a comfortable environment for the cat.

  4. Step 4: Keep a respectful distance.

  5. Step 5: Use a pheromone diffuser to calm a scared cat.

  6. Step 6: Pet the cat gently when it invites you to.

  7. Step 7: Pick up your cat when it is relaxed.

  8. Step 8: Seek veterinary intervention if all else fails.

Detailed Guide

To build a strong relationship with a cat, you must first ensure that it is comfortable with people in general.

Socializing young kittens is important for their future relationships with people.

Socialization with people between 2 and 7 weeks of age sets the stage for the rest of the cat’s life.Socialization includes holding the kitten and encouraging it to interact with people and animals.

These interactions need to be pleasant for the cat to want to continue them in the future.Consider kitten socialization classes.

Your veterinarian likely has some resources for you to consider.

If you have an older cat, don't despair.

You can still work with it.

Positive interactions go a long way at all ages to make friends with a cat.

Even a cat that has been feral (living wild, without people) for up to four years can be socialized.Socializing an older cat requires a great deal more time an patience.

The steps described in this article still apply.

But, you should be prepared for the cat to take a much longer time to accept you. , A cat won’t want to socialize if it doesn’t feel comfortable and safe.

Create a calm and non-threatening environment when introducing a new cat to your home.

Begin by putting it in a quiet room where it can get comfortable in the space.

Your bedroom is a good choice.

Spending time here will help your cat get used to your scent.Gradually allow the cat to explore more of the environment as it becomes more comfortable.

Give the cat comfortable and fun surfaces to lay on (and in).

A cat tree can be great for a cat that needs a little security and a place to call their own.

The cat should have access to food, water, a litter box, and a scratching post., Don’t hover over or crowd the cat.

By staying calm and keeping your distance, you’re showing the cat you aren’t a threat and it shouldn’t fear you.

This is especially important for older cats that are not used to spending time around people.

Giving a cat like this too much attention will actually do more harm than good.

You must let a cat like this come to you.

Sit and read or watch TV, ignoring the cat.

Scatter treats or the cat’s food around the room and encourage the cat to hang out and hunt for food.The cat will follow the treats and slowly get closer to you.

Stay still.

Don’t reach out or talk to the kitty at first.

Let them get used to hanging out in the same room.

The food is creating a positive association with you being nearby.

Let the cat come to you.

Dangle or toss a toy to make yourself more interesting.

Don’t try to pet the cat right away, as you may scare it.

Let your presence be non-threatening at first, then work up to petting the cat, even one pet at a time.

Don’t push it, or you will need to start over winning your cat’s trust.Remember that it may take awhile for your cat to know that you do not intend to harm it.

It doesn't know you yet.

Show it your love by being patient when it is new to your home. , These diffusers contain a calming cat pheromone that can help an anxious cat feel comfortable and relaxed.

Pheromone diffusers are very simple to use.

All you have to do is plug them into a wall outlet, like many commercial air-freshening products.

Then, just check them periodically to ensure they haven't run out of liquid.

You can find these diffusers at most pet and online retailers. , Cats are easily over-stimulated, and a cat will become anxious or defensive if you try to show it affection when it isn’t welcome.

Make sure the cat associates you with wanted, gentle affection, not anxiety.

Gently pet the cat if it rubs against you.

When your cat rubs itself on your body, that is a friendly gesture.

Reinforce the connection it is making with you by taking the opportunity to pet.

Cats like to have their heads and necks scratched.

They also like gentle pets on the back, right where the spine meets the tail.Full-back strokes can be overstimulating and cause a cat distress to the point it may claw or bite you.

Offering a treat after handling your cat helps it create a positive association with touch., Pet the cat as long as it seems to enjoy it, and then pick it up and deliver it to a nice sunny spot or to food.

You are trying to create the idea that being picked up is a good thing.

Don't forcibly hold a cat that doesn't want you to.This could break the trust you have built up with them.

This is especially crucial for older cats.

There are times when you will need to pick up your cat against its will, for instance when you need to put it in a carrier.

Be sure to do this as gently as possible, making sure to calm the cat with a nice tone of voice, petting, and perhaps even treats. , Fearful and anxious adult cats may need prescription medication to help the socialization process.

Talk to your veterinarian if the suggestions above don't seem to work.There are veterinary behavior specialists that may be able to help in extreme cases.

Ask your regular vet for a referral.

About the Author

R

Ruth Martinez

Ruth Martinez has dedicated 5 years to mastering education and learning. As a content creator, Ruth focuses on providing actionable tips and step-by-step guides.

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