How to Accept Rejection When You Tell a Friend You Love Them
Pause before reacting negatively., Get some space from the person., Nurse your wounds with self-care., Journal about your feelings., Confide in someone you trust., Reframe how you look at rejection.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Pause before reacting negatively.
If you want to preserve your friendship with this person, resist acting out on your emotions.
Rejection can make you feel angry, embarrassed, and just plain hurt.
Don’t react on impulse and take these feelings out on the other person.
Before saying anything more to the person, immediately take a few breaths to collect yourself.
Don’t rush into making any decisions.
Give yourself time to calm down first. -
Step 2: Get some space from the person.
Being around the person may be especially difficult after saying the “L” word.
Ask for some space to deal with your feelings.
You guys can discuss how you want to move forward later.
But, right now, it’s not going to do you any good to have to pretend and keep spending time with them.Say something like, “I need some time to come to terms with your reaction.
I want to hang out again, but can you give me a few days?” , It’s second-nature after a rejection to feel defeated.
Counteract this by pouring on the love.
Treat yourself gently, like you would a friend who’s got the flu.
Treat yourself to a special lunch or dinner.
Binge-watch your favorite TV show.
Work off some steam in the gym.
Do things that help you feel better.You may be tempted to reach for numbing substances like alcohol and drugs.
These won’t make you feel any better.
Instead, take good care of yourself by eating balanced meals, exercising, and getting enough sleep. , Journal to unload your feelings about the rejection.
You might describe what happened, how the person responded, and how it made you feel.
Journaling is a great tool to help you identify your emotions and learn to cope with them., Share your feelings with a close friend.
Make sure you choose someone you can trust, who won’t spread the information around town.
They might even be able to offer you helpful advice, or comfort you after the rejection.You might say, “Wendy, I’m humiliated.
I told Greg I loved him.
He told me he doesn’t look at me that way.
I don’t know what to do.” , Another way to cope with rejection is to change how you look at it.
You may be viewing the situation as if there’s something wrong with you.
Change this thought process by coming up with some realistic alternatives.For example, the person may have said “no” because they want to keep you as a friend—they don’t want to risk losing you if a relationship doesn’t work out.
Another way to look at it is the person rejected you because there’s someone else out there who’s a better match for you.
You just have to wait to meet them.
Remind yourself that it takes a lot of courage to step up and declare your feelings.
Admire that trait about yourself! -
Step 3: Nurse your wounds with self-care.
-
Step 4: Journal about your feelings.
-
Step 5: Confide in someone you trust.
-
Step 6: Reframe how you look at rejection.
Detailed Guide
If you want to preserve your friendship with this person, resist acting out on your emotions.
Rejection can make you feel angry, embarrassed, and just plain hurt.
Don’t react on impulse and take these feelings out on the other person.
Before saying anything more to the person, immediately take a few breaths to collect yourself.
Don’t rush into making any decisions.
Give yourself time to calm down first.
Being around the person may be especially difficult after saying the “L” word.
Ask for some space to deal with your feelings.
You guys can discuss how you want to move forward later.
But, right now, it’s not going to do you any good to have to pretend and keep spending time with them.Say something like, “I need some time to come to terms with your reaction.
I want to hang out again, but can you give me a few days?” , It’s second-nature after a rejection to feel defeated.
Counteract this by pouring on the love.
Treat yourself gently, like you would a friend who’s got the flu.
Treat yourself to a special lunch or dinner.
Binge-watch your favorite TV show.
Work off some steam in the gym.
Do things that help you feel better.You may be tempted to reach for numbing substances like alcohol and drugs.
These won’t make you feel any better.
Instead, take good care of yourself by eating balanced meals, exercising, and getting enough sleep. , Journal to unload your feelings about the rejection.
You might describe what happened, how the person responded, and how it made you feel.
Journaling is a great tool to help you identify your emotions and learn to cope with them., Share your feelings with a close friend.
Make sure you choose someone you can trust, who won’t spread the information around town.
They might even be able to offer you helpful advice, or comfort you after the rejection.You might say, “Wendy, I’m humiliated.
I told Greg I loved him.
He told me he doesn’t look at me that way.
I don’t know what to do.” , Another way to cope with rejection is to change how you look at it.
You may be viewing the situation as if there’s something wrong with you.
Change this thought process by coming up with some realistic alternatives.For example, the person may have said “no” because they want to keep you as a friend—they don’t want to risk losing you if a relationship doesn’t work out.
Another way to look at it is the person rejected you because there’s someone else out there who’s a better match for you.
You just have to wait to meet them.
Remind yourself that it takes a lot of courage to step up and declare your feelings.
Admire that trait about yourself!
About the Author
Logan Cox
With a background in education and learning, Logan Cox brings 10 years of hands-on experience to every article. Logan believes in making complex topics accessible to everyone.
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