How to Avoid Conflict
Acknowledge the other person's concerns., Calmly discuss one another's concerns., Give her a chance to speak., Respond to the other person with respect., Plan your body language., Use humor.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Acknowledge the other person's concerns.
If she has instigated the fight, or has responded irrationally to your concerns, verbalize this.
For example, say, "I realize this issue is really important to you," or "I know you don't think my idea is any good, but I do." If the fight starts off heated or quickly escalates, remove yourself from the situation.
Tell her that you need a break before returning to discuss the issues. -
Step 2: Calmly discuss one another's concerns.
Make this conversation as emotionally stable as possible, no yelling or blaming.
Instead, make your points brief and specific.
It will be easier for her to respond to specific instances, than broad generalizations or accusations.While this may be hard, limit the conflict to one or two main issues.
The fight shouldn't become a confrontation featuring every single flaw in your relationship or friendship. , This means you should be actively listening to what she says.
Don't listen for a weakness in her reasoning or argument.
Instead, listen to what she's really trying to tell you, whether or not it's what you want to hear.
Don't rush the other person to talk.
Letting her bring up concerns at her own pace will make her feel respected and listened to. , If you don't agree with what she's is saying, validate her concerns, rather than arguing with her.
It may be helpful to take a few moments to gather your thoughts before responding.
This will keep you from accidentally saying something hurtful.For example, "I can see now why you're upset." Meeting the other person halfway will make her more likely to respond positively to your own concerns. , This is just as important as avoiding yelling, cursing, or name calling.
Use body language that suggests an open desire to communicate, such as open arms and relaxed posture.
Good eye contact is also a critical part of communication.
Avoid defensive body language, such as crossing your arms, pointing fingers, hiding your hands, or not making eye contact.
These can signal an unwillingness to talk., Don't feel like an argument has to be completely serious.
If you can and you think the other person is receptive, make a joke or two.
This can lighten the tension and show the other person that you're not being defensive or taking things personally.Never make a joke at the other person's expense.
This will worsen the conflict. -
Step 3: Give her a chance to speak.
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Step 4: Respond to the other person with respect.
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Step 5: Plan your body language.
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Step 6: Use humor.
Detailed Guide
If she has instigated the fight, or has responded irrationally to your concerns, verbalize this.
For example, say, "I realize this issue is really important to you," or "I know you don't think my idea is any good, but I do." If the fight starts off heated or quickly escalates, remove yourself from the situation.
Tell her that you need a break before returning to discuss the issues.
Make this conversation as emotionally stable as possible, no yelling or blaming.
Instead, make your points brief and specific.
It will be easier for her to respond to specific instances, than broad generalizations or accusations.While this may be hard, limit the conflict to one or two main issues.
The fight shouldn't become a confrontation featuring every single flaw in your relationship or friendship. , This means you should be actively listening to what she says.
Don't listen for a weakness in her reasoning or argument.
Instead, listen to what she's really trying to tell you, whether or not it's what you want to hear.
Don't rush the other person to talk.
Letting her bring up concerns at her own pace will make her feel respected and listened to. , If you don't agree with what she's is saying, validate her concerns, rather than arguing with her.
It may be helpful to take a few moments to gather your thoughts before responding.
This will keep you from accidentally saying something hurtful.For example, "I can see now why you're upset." Meeting the other person halfway will make her more likely to respond positively to your own concerns. , This is just as important as avoiding yelling, cursing, or name calling.
Use body language that suggests an open desire to communicate, such as open arms and relaxed posture.
Good eye contact is also a critical part of communication.
Avoid defensive body language, such as crossing your arms, pointing fingers, hiding your hands, or not making eye contact.
These can signal an unwillingness to talk., Don't feel like an argument has to be completely serious.
If you can and you think the other person is receptive, make a joke or two.
This can lighten the tension and show the other person that you're not being defensive or taking things personally.Never make a joke at the other person's expense.
This will worsen the conflict.
About the Author
Karen Rivera
Specializes in breaking down complex organization topics into simple steps.
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