How to Avoid Falling for Your Ex Boyfriend
Stay away from him., Avoid his friends when you can., Avoid places and activities that may trigger temptation., Stay polite but distant when you can't avoid contact., Don't view your relationship through rose-colored glasses., Don't devote yourself...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Stay away from him.
When it comes to dealing with the fallout of a breakup, follow the motto, "Out of sight, out of mind." The less you run into your ex, the better.
There may be times when you're forced to see him or you run into him by accident.
Outside of these times, do your best to avoid contact.In today's world, "staying away" also means cutting off contact via social media.
Unfriend him, stop following his posts, delete his number in your phone.
Break the chain that connects you, at least temporarily.
You can possibly reconsider making some new connections later on.Avoiding him isn't a way of showing that you hate your old partner.
Instead, you're showing that being around this person makes you feel confusing, uncomfortable emotions (which is most likely true). -
Step 2: Avoid his friends when you can.
Breaking up can be especially hard if you were used to spending lots of time with his friends.
However, if you can, limit your exposure to these people.
Being around your ex's friends will only remind you of the memories you shared with your ex and you will have trouble getting over him.Cutting off contact with these friends will probably only exacerbate your sense of loss, but it is a pain you need to go through in order to get past your ex and move forward.
You may be able to reconnect with some of these friends later on.
If you don't have many friends who aren't close to your ex, hang out with a few of your most trusted friends that you can count on to be sympathetic.
You may also want to try to focus your efforts on making new friends (though this can be tough if you're feeling blue). , It may be hard to (at least temporarily) give up your favorite restaurant, or listening to your favorite band, or doing the crossword in the Sunday paper, but if these are things you shared with your boyfriend, they could become temptation traps.
You might associate such things so strongly with him that you can't help but pine for him.
Remember, you're trying to break a type of addiction, and if you were trying to quit drinking, you wouldn't hang out at your favorite bar.Eventually you should be able to reclaim favorite places and things for yourself, but it is best to play it safe by not risking temptation while your breakup is still fresh.
The worst-case scenario would be running into your ex at your favorite restaurant or the first spot where you kissed, so avoidance is the most prudent option. , Sometimes, you may be forced to see your ex face-to-face.
Maybe he's in your biology class, or lives down the street, or works at your local grocery store.
In these cases, it's not worth your effort to make a scene or try to hurt his feelings.
Instead, smile and be pleasant, but keep your conversations short.
Doing this will help prevent him from bringing back any difficult emotions.Despite its common existence in sitcoms and other forms of popular culture, it is rarely a good idea to be "just friends" with your ex.
If he was at fault for the breakup, you are only minimizing or even validating his mistreatment of you by deeming him worthy of friendship.
Even if the breakup was mutual or faultless, you'll find it even more difficult to escape the "addiction" of your romantic feelings for him if he's always around as a friend.
Remember, happiness is the best revenge.
If you're angry at your ex over the breakup, showing him that you're doing well without him is a great way to subtly show him the mistake he's made. , In the time after a breakup, it can be difficult to think about your old relationship logically.
Give yourself a few days to mourn, but then try to see things how they really were.
The simple fact that you broke up in the first place means that your relationship wasn't perfect.
Remembering the bad parts of the relationship alongside the good will make it a lot harder to fall for your ex again.Not sure what went wrong? Search your heart.
Be honest with yourself.
Was one of you unhappy? Did you have different life priorities? Was there a lack of trust? Were you treated with respect? Were you betrayed? Honestly examining a past relationship can not only help you move on from it, but also better prepare you for the next one by helping you to identify potential problems and "warning signs" ahead of time. , After a nasty breakup, the urge to get even with your ex may be strong.
You may start to think that bashing up his car or embarrassing him in front of his new partner are good ideas.
They aren't.
This sort of behavior shows that you're still obsessed with your old partner.
To others, it can seem petty and childish, leading to embarrassment for you in the long run.
Don't give in to hate.
Instead, work to get over your ex so that you never have to think about him again.Depending on why you broke up in the first place, you may even feel guilty after a mean-spirited prank.
If your boyfriend cheated on you, you may indeed hate his guts.
If he never betrayed your trust, though, and you broke up after a fight or something similar, you may not really want to see him unhappy.
The minuscule rush you may feel after exacting your revenge on your ex can never make up for the extra time you wasted obsessing over him instead of moving on with your life.
In almost every case, revenge is not "a dish best served cold"; it is a dish best not served at all. -
Step 3: Avoid places and activities that may trigger temptation.
-
Step 4: Stay polite but distant when you can't avoid contact.
-
Step 5: Don't view your relationship through rose-colored glasses.
-
Step 6: Don't devote yourself to getting revenge.
Detailed Guide
When it comes to dealing with the fallout of a breakup, follow the motto, "Out of sight, out of mind." The less you run into your ex, the better.
There may be times when you're forced to see him or you run into him by accident.
Outside of these times, do your best to avoid contact.In today's world, "staying away" also means cutting off contact via social media.
Unfriend him, stop following his posts, delete his number in your phone.
Break the chain that connects you, at least temporarily.
You can possibly reconsider making some new connections later on.Avoiding him isn't a way of showing that you hate your old partner.
Instead, you're showing that being around this person makes you feel confusing, uncomfortable emotions (which is most likely true).
Breaking up can be especially hard if you were used to spending lots of time with his friends.
However, if you can, limit your exposure to these people.
Being around your ex's friends will only remind you of the memories you shared with your ex and you will have trouble getting over him.Cutting off contact with these friends will probably only exacerbate your sense of loss, but it is a pain you need to go through in order to get past your ex and move forward.
You may be able to reconnect with some of these friends later on.
If you don't have many friends who aren't close to your ex, hang out with a few of your most trusted friends that you can count on to be sympathetic.
You may also want to try to focus your efforts on making new friends (though this can be tough if you're feeling blue). , It may be hard to (at least temporarily) give up your favorite restaurant, or listening to your favorite band, or doing the crossword in the Sunday paper, but if these are things you shared with your boyfriend, they could become temptation traps.
You might associate such things so strongly with him that you can't help but pine for him.
Remember, you're trying to break a type of addiction, and if you were trying to quit drinking, you wouldn't hang out at your favorite bar.Eventually you should be able to reclaim favorite places and things for yourself, but it is best to play it safe by not risking temptation while your breakup is still fresh.
The worst-case scenario would be running into your ex at your favorite restaurant or the first spot where you kissed, so avoidance is the most prudent option. , Sometimes, you may be forced to see your ex face-to-face.
Maybe he's in your biology class, or lives down the street, or works at your local grocery store.
In these cases, it's not worth your effort to make a scene or try to hurt his feelings.
Instead, smile and be pleasant, but keep your conversations short.
Doing this will help prevent him from bringing back any difficult emotions.Despite its common existence in sitcoms and other forms of popular culture, it is rarely a good idea to be "just friends" with your ex.
If he was at fault for the breakup, you are only minimizing or even validating his mistreatment of you by deeming him worthy of friendship.
Even if the breakup was mutual or faultless, you'll find it even more difficult to escape the "addiction" of your romantic feelings for him if he's always around as a friend.
Remember, happiness is the best revenge.
If you're angry at your ex over the breakup, showing him that you're doing well without him is a great way to subtly show him the mistake he's made. , In the time after a breakup, it can be difficult to think about your old relationship logically.
Give yourself a few days to mourn, but then try to see things how they really were.
The simple fact that you broke up in the first place means that your relationship wasn't perfect.
Remembering the bad parts of the relationship alongside the good will make it a lot harder to fall for your ex again.Not sure what went wrong? Search your heart.
Be honest with yourself.
Was one of you unhappy? Did you have different life priorities? Was there a lack of trust? Were you treated with respect? Were you betrayed? Honestly examining a past relationship can not only help you move on from it, but also better prepare you for the next one by helping you to identify potential problems and "warning signs" ahead of time. , After a nasty breakup, the urge to get even with your ex may be strong.
You may start to think that bashing up his car or embarrassing him in front of his new partner are good ideas.
They aren't.
This sort of behavior shows that you're still obsessed with your old partner.
To others, it can seem petty and childish, leading to embarrassment for you in the long run.
Don't give in to hate.
Instead, work to get over your ex so that you never have to think about him again.Depending on why you broke up in the first place, you may even feel guilty after a mean-spirited prank.
If your boyfriend cheated on you, you may indeed hate his guts.
If he never betrayed your trust, though, and you broke up after a fight or something similar, you may not really want to see him unhappy.
The minuscule rush you may feel after exacting your revenge on your ex can never make up for the extra time you wasted obsessing over him instead of moving on with your life.
In almost every case, revenge is not "a dish best served cold"; it is a dish best not served at all.
About the Author
Christina Gordon
Specializes in breaking down complex home improvement topics into simple steps.
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