How to Avoid Harboring Negative Thoughts About Your Husband
Practice positive affirmations about your husband., Avoid framing the future in a negative way., Avoid comparing your husband to other men., Laugh with your husband!, Consider the personality traits of your partner., Refrain from “always or never”...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Practice positive affirmations about your husband.
Stop when you catch yourself dwelling on negative thoughts.
Repeat the mantra, “It will work out” over and over again until you feel better.
Visualize creating a barrier around your mind where no negative thoughts about your spouse are allowed entry.Then replace a critical thought with something true and positive about your husband.
It might be "I'm so glad I found someone who shares my sense of humor," or "I am thankful for the support he provides this family." Anything that is positive and affirming.
Be patient with this process as you are literally changing the way that you think.
It will take time. -
Step 2: Avoid framing the future in a negative way.
Recognize that your current thoughts about your husband do not necessarily mean that the future will turn out badly.
The future is uncertain and unknowable.
Instead of looking for future pitfalls, think about what you can do now to improve your life with your spouse.For example, instead of thinking, “We will always be broke because he doesn’t make enough,” you might look for ways to add a bit of income yourself. , Everyone does this to some extent, but it can get to be unhealthy if it occurs too frequently or if you dwell on it.
These types of comparisons are not productive and take energy away from the relationship that you are currently in.
Instead, think about how others may perceive your husband as desirable.
What traits does he project that are admirable?For example, does your husband smile all the time? Would other people consider him to be a nice person? Does he take great pride in his appearance, but not to the extent of being vain? , Look for moments that are funny and cut loose a bit.
If you just can’t seem to find something humorous, create a situation in which you both will be forced to lighten up.
Go to comedy club or watch a funny movie.
It’s hard to be negative when you are busy bonding over something funny or interesting.
Be willing to laugh at yourself.
And, when the situation warrants it, laugh at your husband as well.
Humor is a great way to break the ice if you need to talk about something more serious too., Remember that, first and foremost, your husband is human.
He is going to have faults, as we all do.
Avoid trying to make him perfect.
Look for what is unique and exciting about his personality as an individual.Think about those moments when your husband behaved in a way that was uniquely suited to his personality and why you appreciated him in that moment.
Do you admire the fact that he volunteers at the local food bank? Is that because he is a caring person? , If you find yourself heading into absolutes, visualize a stop sign and pause your thinking.
Try to consider how your thoughts should actually be more complex in order to be accurate.
For example, instead of thinking, “My husband never makes me laugh anymore,” you might consider, “How often do I laugh now anyway?”Watch for words that signal exaggerations such as “always” or “never.”, If you’ve been together for some time it is quite possible that you’ve identified some things that you wish your husband did differently in the past.
Make your best effort to offer forgiveness for past transgressions in order to move forward in a healthy way.
If you are worried about the past repeating itself, decide what your personal boundaries will be for the future.
For example, if you resent the fact that you've never taken a vacation with your husband, now may be the time to plan a trip. , Get a mason jar and some small scraps of paper.
On each piece of paper write down a positive thought about your husband.
Fold each scrap in half and place it in the jar.
Every time that you feel negative, go to the jar and pick out at least one piece of paper.
Read it and then place it back in the jar, along with at least one more positive thought.
This is a more active version of making a list.
It will push you to recognize all of your husband’s small and large positive actions.
For example, “I appreciate the fact that Michael takes out the trash every day.”Another version of this activity is to write down all of your negative thoughts on pieces of paper and toss them away.
This reflects you letting go of the negativity and embracing a positive future. -
Step 3: Avoid comparing your husband to other men.
-
Step 4: Laugh with your husband!
-
Step 5: Consider the personality traits of your partner.
-
Step 6: Refrain from “always or never” thinking.
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Step 7: Stop replaying the past.
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Step 8: Make a positive thoughts jar.
Detailed Guide
Stop when you catch yourself dwelling on negative thoughts.
Repeat the mantra, “It will work out” over and over again until you feel better.
Visualize creating a barrier around your mind where no negative thoughts about your spouse are allowed entry.Then replace a critical thought with something true and positive about your husband.
It might be "I'm so glad I found someone who shares my sense of humor," or "I am thankful for the support he provides this family." Anything that is positive and affirming.
Be patient with this process as you are literally changing the way that you think.
It will take time.
Recognize that your current thoughts about your husband do not necessarily mean that the future will turn out badly.
The future is uncertain and unknowable.
Instead of looking for future pitfalls, think about what you can do now to improve your life with your spouse.For example, instead of thinking, “We will always be broke because he doesn’t make enough,” you might look for ways to add a bit of income yourself. , Everyone does this to some extent, but it can get to be unhealthy if it occurs too frequently or if you dwell on it.
These types of comparisons are not productive and take energy away from the relationship that you are currently in.
Instead, think about how others may perceive your husband as desirable.
What traits does he project that are admirable?For example, does your husband smile all the time? Would other people consider him to be a nice person? Does he take great pride in his appearance, but not to the extent of being vain? , Look for moments that are funny and cut loose a bit.
If you just can’t seem to find something humorous, create a situation in which you both will be forced to lighten up.
Go to comedy club or watch a funny movie.
It’s hard to be negative when you are busy bonding over something funny or interesting.
Be willing to laugh at yourself.
And, when the situation warrants it, laugh at your husband as well.
Humor is a great way to break the ice if you need to talk about something more serious too., Remember that, first and foremost, your husband is human.
He is going to have faults, as we all do.
Avoid trying to make him perfect.
Look for what is unique and exciting about his personality as an individual.Think about those moments when your husband behaved in a way that was uniquely suited to his personality and why you appreciated him in that moment.
Do you admire the fact that he volunteers at the local food bank? Is that because he is a caring person? , If you find yourself heading into absolutes, visualize a stop sign and pause your thinking.
Try to consider how your thoughts should actually be more complex in order to be accurate.
For example, instead of thinking, “My husband never makes me laugh anymore,” you might consider, “How often do I laugh now anyway?”Watch for words that signal exaggerations such as “always” or “never.”, If you’ve been together for some time it is quite possible that you’ve identified some things that you wish your husband did differently in the past.
Make your best effort to offer forgiveness for past transgressions in order to move forward in a healthy way.
If you are worried about the past repeating itself, decide what your personal boundaries will be for the future.
For example, if you resent the fact that you've never taken a vacation with your husband, now may be the time to plan a trip. , Get a mason jar and some small scraps of paper.
On each piece of paper write down a positive thought about your husband.
Fold each scrap in half and place it in the jar.
Every time that you feel negative, go to the jar and pick out at least one piece of paper.
Read it and then place it back in the jar, along with at least one more positive thought.
This is a more active version of making a list.
It will push you to recognize all of your husband’s small and large positive actions.
For example, “I appreciate the fact that Michael takes out the trash every day.”Another version of this activity is to write down all of your negative thoughts on pieces of paper and toss them away.
This reflects you letting go of the negativity and embracing a positive future.
About the Author
Helen Ortiz
Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in crafts and beyond.
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