How to Comfort Your Girlfriend
Be there emotionally and physically as quickly as possible., Listen carefully to what she's upset about., Act as a mirror for her emotional frustration., Make her laugh., Lighten any potential feelings of shamefulness., Stay calm.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Be there emotionally and physically as quickly as possible.
Within reason, you should make your girlfriend your number one priority when she's upset and needs your support.
How quickly you're there for her might be as important as being there itself and the act of you rushing to her aid lets her know how much she means to you.
This, alone, will help her feel better regardless of why she's upset Obviously, you won't be able rush to your girlfriend at the drop of coin.
Most times, you will have to balance the criticality of your current activities and the severity of her emotional distress.
If you're at work or school and her situation is dire, you should clear your mind of your responsibilities and give her all the emotional support and caring that you can verbally.
Let her know that she is your number one priority and that you will be there physically as soon as you can practically clear your plate. -
Step 2: Listen carefully to what she's upset about.
Until you know what your girlfriend is specifically upset about, you can't offer any but the broadest consolation.
Whether the situation is minor or a life-changing issue, any consolation necessarily starts with listening intently to what she's saying.
And any positive comforting begins with empathetic understanding by the listener. , The best thing you can do is to become an active listener and let her work through her feelings and come naturally to her own realization/insight.
Resist injecting your solution into the process.
Instead, facilitate her settling into her own understanding of her emotional quandary.
Let her vent while you assume the role of empathizer.Engage in active listening.
Make a habit of rephrasing what she's said to you.Make her feelings and articulations be your entire world for the time she talks to you.
Empathy cannot happen if you're partly focused on your own thoughts.
Even so, you shouldn't be afraid to offer your own feelings, but only if she asks you for them. , Laughter helps relieve the stress and re-centers the emotions.
In this way a number of mental and emotional problems can seem less critical and more manageable.If you and your girlfriend have a strong enough chemistry, you are probably making her laugh on a regular basis as it is.
Humour is a powerful remedy against mental stress, and it can help get her find off of what's bothering her long enough to affect positive change in her mood. , In addition to whatever she is feeling bad about, your girlfriend may feel a new kind of shame in simply showing emotional vulnerability to you.If you think this is the case, you should pull her in close to you and remind her feelings are normal and only to be expected.
Reassure her that her trust in you will never, ever be betrayed. , Remember that the focus should be entirely on your girlfriend and her feelings while you are offering comfort and support.
This might be difficult if you're emotionally involved in the situation which upset her, but you must put your feelings on the back burner and let hers be fully worked out.
If you get overly upset and start folding in your thoughts and feelings, it will only make matters worse.
And, in the end, you will have done little to comfort or console her.
If you're upset, it's best to make her feel better, then tend to your side of the issue at a future time. -
Step 3: Act as a mirror for her emotional frustration.
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Step 4: Make her laugh.
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Step 5: Lighten any potential feelings of shamefulness.
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Step 6: Stay calm.
Detailed Guide
Within reason, you should make your girlfriend your number one priority when she's upset and needs your support.
How quickly you're there for her might be as important as being there itself and the act of you rushing to her aid lets her know how much she means to you.
This, alone, will help her feel better regardless of why she's upset Obviously, you won't be able rush to your girlfriend at the drop of coin.
Most times, you will have to balance the criticality of your current activities and the severity of her emotional distress.
If you're at work or school and her situation is dire, you should clear your mind of your responsibilities and give her all the emotional support and caring that you can verbally.
Let her know that she is your number one priority and that you will be there physically as soon as you can practically clear your plate.
Until you know what your girlfriend is specifically upset about, you can't offer any but the broadest consolation.
Whether the situation is minor or a life-changing issue, any consolation necessarily starts with listening intently to what she's saying.
And any positive comforting begins with empathetic understanding by the listener. , The best thing you can do is to become an active listener and let her work through her feelings and come naturally to her own realization/insight.
Resist injecting your solution into the process.
Instead, facilitate her settling into her own understanding of her emotional quandary.
Let her vent while you assume the role of empathizer.Engage in active listening.
Make a habit of rephrasing what she's said to you.Make her feelings and articulations be your entire world for the time she talks to you.
Empathy cannot happen if you're partly focused on your own thoughts.
Even so, you shouldn't be afraid to offer your own feelings, but only if she asks you for them. , Laughter helps relieve the stress and re-centers the emotions.
In this way a number of mental and emotional problems can seem less critical and more manageable.If you and your girlfriend have a strong enough chemistry, you are probably making her laugh on a regular basis as it is.
Humour is a powerful remedy against mental stress, and it can help get her find off of what's bothering her long enough to affect positive change in her mood. , In addition to whatever she is feeling bad about, your girlfriend may feel a new kind of shame in simply showing emotional vulnerability to you.If you think this is the case, you should pull her in close to you and remind her feelings are normal and only to be expected.
Reassure her that her trust in you will never, ever be betrayed. , Remember that the focus should be entirely on your girlfriend and her feelings while you are offering comfort and support.
This might be difficult if you're emotionally involved in the situation which upset her, but you must put your feelings on the back burner and let hers be fully worked out.
If you get overly upset and start folding in your thoughts and feelings, it will only make matters worse.
And, in the end, you will have done little to comfort or console her.
If you're upset, it's best to make her feel better, then tend to your side of the issue at a future time.
About the Author
Andrea Peterson
Specializes in breaking down complex cooking topics into simple steps.
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