How to Cope With Separation
Set expectations with your loved one., Plan what to say to children., Schedule your conversations., Plan extra activities for yourself.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Set expectations with your loved one.
If you are going through a temporary separation, you will need to redefine the ways you handle your shared life.You will also need to understand what the other person thinks of the separation.
If your separation is deliberate, make sure you both agree on what the goal of the separation is.
Take the time to sit down with a third party mediator if possible and discuss what you each want out of the separation.
For instance, if one of you wants to consider permanent separation, while the other wants to take a break and come back, you need to reconcile those differences! Communicate about shared responsibilities.
If you have children, pets, or share a car or home, you will have to rise above any animosity and talk about those needs.
If necessary, hire a mediator to help coordinate your schedules and ensure that all responsibilities are covered. -
Step 2: Plan what to say to children.
If you and your partner have children together, you will want to discuss how you are going to talk to them about your separation.
Again, it is important you put aside any conflict with your partner and focus on making this transition as easy as possible for your kids.
Make a plan with your partner about how you want to tell your kids.
They will benefit from open, honest communication about the upcoming changes.Try to give your children time to adjust to the separation.
Try to wait a few weeks before moving them to a new home or before your partner moves out or is deployed. , Whether you and your partner are taking a break or are separated by circumstance, you will feel better if you know when you are going to talk next.
Make a schedule and keep it.
Make sure the communication does not eat up your private or social life, however.If you are doing a trial separation, space the talking out.
You might go a few weeks without communicating, then introduce meetups at neutral locations, then gradually move to seeing each other more frequently.
If you are separated by necessity, make regular dates to talk.
Your talking should not make other socializing or responsibilities impossible! Set firm limits — don't talk for hours, and don't cancel other dates to talk to your loved one.
It is important to still have a life beyond these conversations. , When you are temporarily separated, holes open in your schedule.
You might spend less time eating meals, or not have a date for the events you normally attend in a pair.
Connect with your friends and plan special dates with them.
Plan solo activities that you will enjoy doing alone, such as seeing a movie or cooking an elaborate meal.
Sign up for a class or a club that meets regularly to meet more people in a low key way. -
Step 3: Schedule your conversations.
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Step 4: Plan extra activities for yourself.
Detailed Guide
If you are going through a temporary separation, you will need to redefine the ways you handle your shared life.You will also need to understand what the other person thinks of the separation.
If your separation is deliberate, make sure you both agree on what the goal of the separation is.
Take the time to sit down with a third party mediator if possible and discuss what you each want out of the separation.
For instance, if one of you wants to consider permanent separation, while the other wants to take a break and come back, you need to reconcile those differences! Communicate about shared responsibilities.
If you have children, pets, or share a car or home, you will have to rise above any animosity and talk about those needs.
If necessary, hire a mediator to help coordinate your schedules and ensure that all responsibilities are covered.
If you and your partner have children together, you will want to discuss how you are going to talk to them about your separation.
Again, it is important you put aside any conflict with your partner and focus on making this transition as easy as possible for your kids.
Make a plan with your partner about how you want to tell your kids.
They will benefit from open, honest communication about the upcoming changes.Try to give your children time to adjust to the separation.
Try to wait a few weeks before moving them to a new home or before your partner moves out or is deployed. , Whether you and your partner are taking a break or are separated by circumstance, you will feel better if you know when you are going to talk next.
Make a schedule and keep it.
Make sure the communication does not eat up your private or social life, however.If you are doing a trial separation, space the talking out.
You might go a few weeks without communicating, then introduce meetups at neutral locations, then gradually move to seeing each other more frequently.
If you are separated by necessity, make regular dates to talk.
Your talking should not make other socializing or responsibilities impossible! Set firm limits — don't talk for hours, and don't cancel other dates to talk to your loved one.
It is important to still have a life beyond these conversations. , When you are temporarily separated, holes open in your schedule.
You might spend less time eating meals, or not have a date for the events you normally attend in a pair.
Connect with your friends and plan special dates with them.
Plan solo activities that you will enjoy doing alone, such as seeing a movie or cooking an elaborate meal.
Sign up for a class or a club that meets regularly to meet more people in a low key way.
About the Author
Adam Smith
With a background in lifestyle and practical guides, Adam Smith brings 9 years of hands-on experience to every article. Adam believes in making complex topics accessible to everyone.
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