How to Date a Food Cop

Step-by-Step Guide

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   Step 1: Respond with the facts.

   While it's easy to become emotional and to snap at your date, it will be more effective to supply facts that point clearly to his or her constant haranguing.
   
   This means providing your date with specific examples of the comments that he or she makes to you.
   
   Keep these in mind (or write them down if needed), so that you can respond directly to the comments when you feel it is appropriate to address the problem.
   
   Something along the lines of this is appropriate: "Last night you told me that I would get fat if I ate that piece of pizza." Or, "Saturday night you said I would not be able to wear the ski pants if I kept eating pasta." It's a good idea to note around three to five different occasions where the food cop behavior has occurred
   - compiling a pattern of the comments will also reassure you that it is actually a pattern, and not just a one-off, unthinking comment.
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   Step 2: Respond by matching these factual statements with your feelings.

   Once you have given your date the facts, it is time to let him or her know just how the calorie-hassling makes you feel.
   
   Some good approaches include: "When you make these comments, it makes me feel upset because it feels like you are criticizing the person I am now.
   
   I feel that you are insinuating that I don't care about how I look." "When you say these comments, it makes me feel hurt because it feels like you don't like me looking the way I do now." When you say these comments, it makes me feel unloved because I feel like you aren't able to accept me for who I am, or enjoy being with me.
   
   It also makes me feel that you don't respect my own choices."
   
   Instead, make your statement and leave it at that for your date to respond to. , If he or she is a caring date, it may strike them suddenly as to how thoughtless the comments have been; it could just be a bad habit they've fallen into.
   
   If, on the other hand, your date really is a control freak who would rather treat you as an acquisition who must look a certain way to match an ideal, it's time to end the relationship and look for someone you can rely on without counting the calories.
   
   So, how will you know? The way that your date responds should reveal understanding, compassion and carry an apology.
   
   If, on the other hand, he or she shrugs it off, laughs, makes a joke out of it and continues in the same vein, your date hasn't listened to you and probably never will.
   
   Is that something you are prepared to live with? Trust your instincts.
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   Step 3: Provide very straightforward reasons that demonstrate how his or her comments hurt your self-esteem but don't labor the point.

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   Step 4: Decide whether or not it is worth staying in a dating relationship with this person.

Detailed Guide

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