How to Date a Girl With Herpes
Find out what kind of herpes your partner has., Educate yourself about herpes., Learn how herpes is spread., Recognize that herpes is highly contagious., Understand who gets herpes., Get yourself tested for herpes., Take the necessary precautions...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Find out what kind of herpes your partner has.
You will want to find out specifically whether the woman you would like to date has herpes caused by the HSV-1 (most often manifest as oral herpes) or HSV-2 (most often manifest as genital herpes) virus.
Knowing which type of herpes virus she has will help you determine what behaviors can lower your risk of disease transmission if you decide to continue your relationship.
The more facts you have about the specifics of the herpes virus that she carries, the better off you will be. -
Step 2: Educate yourself about herpes.
If you are in a relationship with a woman who has herpes, you will want to learn about the virus.
A simple Google search will help you start learning about the virus, but be cautious that you are obtaining your information from reputable internet sources.
Educating yourself about the severity and the perpetuity of the herpes virus will help you make the right decisions regarding sexual activity in your relationship.
While herpes can be uncomfortable, the infection is generally not dangerous in healthy adults.It will likely be relieving to know that herpes is not as serious as it may seem at first and that it is relatively rare for adults to have any serious health problems as a result of herpes.It is also important to understand that as of yet, there is no cure for herpes.However, this STD can be effectively managed through prescription antiviral medications., Part of the importance of identifying which virus is causing a herpes infection is determining how it can be spread to others.
Specifically, you will want to know what sorts of behaviors will put you at risk for contracting the herpes virus.
HSV-1 is spread through saliva, meaning that kissing, eating from the same utensils, sharing the same glass, or sharing personal items (such as chapstick or a towel) can spread the virus from her to you.In contrast, HSV-2 is sexually transmitted, meaning that it is usually spread through sexual contact., Herpes is an incredibly contagious virus; it is at its most contagious during an active infection.
You can get the herpes virus simply from touching a herpes sore during a person’s outbreak.Herpes is so contagious that it can even be transmitted to a newborn during birth if the mother is experiencing an active infection.It is important to recognize the contagious nature of this STD and realize that by engaging in a relationship with someone that has herpes, you are putting yourself at risk, even if you take as many precautions as possible. , While the classification of herpes as a sexually transmitted disease can make it sound rare and serious, approximately 20% of adults in the United States carry HSV-2, the virus that causes genital herpes, while up to 85% of adults have been infected with HSV-1 by the time they are in their 60s.It is important to recognize that having herpes does not necessarily mean that the woman you want to date has had many sexual partners, but instead that it could be a result of many other factors.
Everyone is at risk for HSV-1.You should not be too taken aback if the woman you are dating has HSV-1, because there is a significant chance that you may be a carrier of it as well.
People who are more likely to have HSV-2 are female, have (or had) another sexually transmitted disease, or have a weakened immune system due to disease or medicine., If you are with a partner who has herpes, it is important to know if you are a carrier of the virus yourself, or if you have managed to avoid contracting it.Getting tested is critical especially because many people who have herpes do not know they have it, so you may be a carrier (meaning that the virus is dormant) even if you have no symptoms.
A simple blood test can tell you whether you are a carrier of either herpes virus.
You can get this test at a Planned Parenthood center, other health clinics, or private health care providers (such as your general practitioner, or GP).Both you and your partner should get tested for STDs before beginning a sexual relationship to make sure that neither of you have any other infections that can be transmitted through sexual intimacy. , If you decide to have intimate relations with someone who has herpes, there are certain precautions you should take to reduce the potential of contracting the disease.
These precautions include:
Wear latex condoms.
Condoms help to prevent the transmission of the herpes virus between outbreaks.
However, even a condom will not prevent transmission of disease during an active outbreak.
Avoid sexual relations before, during, and after outbreaks.
If your partner feels something coming on, it is best to avoid sexual relations and do so until seven days after the sore heals.Never touch any herpes sores.
If you do, wash your hands immediately with warm water and soap., There are daily suppressive medicines (for example, Acyclovir, Famciclovir, Valacyclovir, and Valtrex) that can be used to treat herpes outbreaks caused by both HSV-1 and HSV-2.These medicines can lessen the frequency of active outbreaks and can also significantly reduce the risk of transmission.In order to get a prescription for these medications, the woman you are dating will have to visit her family doctor, GP, or gynecologist who will evaluate her to see if she is a candidate for these antiviral medicines. , While HSV-1 is the harder of the two forms of the virus to avoid, it is possible to avoid exposure to HSV-2.
The only way to completely avoid becoming infected with herpes (HSV-2) is to completely avoid sexual contact because even when your partner is not experiencing an outbreak, there is still a 4-10% chance of her transmitting the disease to you.You may want to try alternate forms of sexual intimacy to completely avoid the HSV-2 virus.
You will want to avoid genital-genital or genital-oral contact, but can try an activity such as mutual masturbation., If you know your partner has herpes, she has already had to admit it to you.
Because herpes (and in particular, genital herpes) has such a significant social stigma, admitting this is usually quite embarrassing.By admitting that she has herpes, your partner is showing how considerate and caring she is.Regardless of whether or not you choose to continue your relationship with her, you should express your appreciation that she was open and honest with you regarding her STD. , You may be so enthralled with your partner that you are willing to overlook the fact that she has herpes and accept the risk of transmission, or you may become extremely uncomfortable with the idea of having sex with someone who has an STD.
You are entitled to your feelings, but it is crucial that you communicate these feelings with your partner so that she knows where you stand in your relationship.
Take the time to think about how herpes may affect your relationship.
You can consider the ways you can be intimate without risking infection, or you can think about ways that you can engage in a sexual relationship while reducing the risk of transmission., When you are properly armed with facts regarding the herpes virus, how it affects the woman you are dating, and how it will influence your dating experience, you are more prepared to make a decision regarding continuing your relationship.
Each person will have a unique perspective on dating someone with herpes; there is no right or wrong way to approach your relationship.
However, you will definitely want to have a frank and honest conversation with her where you can express your worries and concerns and hear her opinion on if and how her herpes will affect your relationship. , When your partner told you that she was infected with herpes, she demonstrated her willingness and ability to have an open and honest relationship with you that focuses on strong communication.
Strong and healthy relationships are built around good communication, so use her example and be open and honest with her about your own life.
While you may not have experience with an STD like she does, you undoubtedly have aspects of your personal life that you don’t tell many people.
She has opened up to you about one important aspect of her life, and it may strengthen your relationship if you do the same.
Keep her trust.
While she has informed you that she is herpes-positive, it is not your place to tell anyone else without her explicit permission.
Show her that you value her openness, and maintain her trust by keeping her herpes status between the two of you. , Dating a girl with herpes will have no effect on your dating life outside of sexual intimacy and sharing of personal items.
You should treat a herpes-positive woman just as you would treat any other woman.
Take her out on special dates, surprise her with her favorite flowers, and let her know how special she is to you. , Kissing, cuddling, and fondling are safe activities with a partner who has genital herpes, while cuddling, massages, and holding hands are safe activities with a partner who has oral herpes -
Step 3: Learn how herpes is spread.
-
Step 4: Recognize that herpes is highly contagious.
-
Step 5: Understand who gets herpes.
-
Step 6: Get yourself tested for herpes.
-
Step 7: Take the necessary precautions.
-
Step 8: Encourage your partner to consider medication.
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Step 9: Avoid getting HSV-2 by completely abstaining from vaginal
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Step 10: and oral sex.
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Step 11: Support and encourage your partner.
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Step 12: Communicate your feelings.
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Step 13: Discuss the next steps in your relationship.
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Step 14: Continue communicating.
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Step 15: Go on dates and explore the world around you.
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Step 16: Enjoy safe intimacy.
Detailed Guide
You will want to find out specifically whether the woman you would like to date has herpes caused by the HSV-1 (most often manifest as oral herpes) or HSV-2 (most often manifest as genital herpes) virus.
Knowing which type of herpes virus she has will help you determine what behaviors can lower your risk of disease transmission if you decide to continue your relationship.
The more facts you have about the specifics of the herpes virus that she carries, the better off you will be.
If you are in a relationship with a woman who has herpes, you will want to learn about the virus.
A simple Google search will help you start learning about the virus, but be cautious that you are obtaining your information from reputable internet sources.
Educating yourself about the severity and the perpetuity of the herpes virus will help you make the right decisions regarding sexual activity in your relationship.
While herpes can be uncomfortable, the infection is generally not dangerous in healthy adults.It will likely be relieving to know that herpes is not as serious as it may seem at first and that it is relatively rare for adults to have any serious health problems as a result of herpes.It is also important to understand that as of yet, there is no cure for herpes.However, this STD can be effectively managed through prescription antiviral medications., Part of the importance of identifying which virus is causing a herpes infection is determining how it can be spread to others.
Specifically, you will want to know what sorts of behaviors will put you at risk for contracting the herpes virus.
HSV-1 is spread through saliva, meaning that kissing, eating from the same utensils, sharing the same glass, or sharing personal items (such as chapstick or a towel) can spread the virus from her to you.In contrast, HSV-2 is sexually transmitted, meaning that it is usually spread through sexual contact., Herpes is an incredibly contagious virus; it is at its most contagious during an active infection.
You can get the herpes virus simply from touching a herpes sore during a person’s outbreak.Herpes is so contagious that it can even be transmitted to a newborn during birth if the mother is experiencing an active infection.It is important to recognize the contagious nature of this STD and realize that by engaging in a relationship with someone that has herpes, you are putting yourself at risk, even if you take as many precautions as possible. , While the classification of herpes as a sexually transmitted disease can make it sound rare and serious, approximately 20% of adults in the United States carry HSV-2, the virus that causes genital herpes, while up to 85% of adults have been infected with HSV-1 by the time they are in their 60s.It is important to recognize that having herpes does not necessarily mean that the woman you want to date has had many sexual partners, but instead that it could be a result of many other factors.
Everyone is at risk for HSV-1.You should not be too taken aback if the woman you are dating has HSV-1, because there is a significant chance that you may be a carrier of it as well.
People who are more likely to have HSV-2 are female, have (or had) another sexually transmitted disease, or have a weakened immune system due to disease or medicine., If you are with a partner who has herpes, it is important to know if you are a carrier of the virus yourself, or if you have managed to avoid contracting it.Getting tested is critical especially because many people who have herpes do not know they have it, so you may be a carrier (meaning that the virus is dormant) even if you have no symptoms.
A simple blood test can tell you whether you are a carrier of either herpes virus.
You can get this test at a Planned Parenthood center, other health clinics, or private health care providers (such as your general practitioner, or GP).Both you and your partner should get tested for STDs before beginning a sexual relationship to make sure that neither of you have any other infections that can be transmitted through sexual intimacy. , If you decide to have intimate relations with someone who has herpes, there are certain precautions you should take to reduce the potential of contracting the disease.
These precautions include:
Wear latex condoms.
Condoms help to prevent the transmission of the herpes virus between outbreaks.
However, even a condom will not prevent transmission of disease during an active outbreak.
Avoid sexual relations before, during, and after outbreaks.
If your partner feels something coming on, it is best to avoid sexual relations and do so until seven days after the sore heals.Never touch any herpes sores.
If you do, wash your hands immediately with warm water and soap., There are daily suppressive medicines (for example, Acyclovir, Famciclovir, Valacyclovir, and Valtrex) that can be used to treat herpes outbreaks caused by both HSV-1 and HSV-2.These medicines can lessen the frequency of active outbreaks and can also significantly reduce the risk of transmission.In order to get a prescription for these medications, the woman you are dating will have to visit her family doctor, GP, or gynecologist who will evaluate her to see if she is a candidate for these antiviral medicines. , While HSV-1 is the harder of the two forms of the virus to avoid, it is possible to avoid exposure to HSV-2.
The only way to completely avoid becoming infected with herpes (HSV-2) is to completely avoid sexual contact because even when your partner is not experiencing an outbreak, there is still a 4-10% chance of her transmitting the disease to you.You may want to try alternate forms of sexual intimacy to completely avoid the HSV-2 virus.
You will want to avoid genital-genital or genital-oral contact, but can try an activity such as mutual masturbation., If you know your partner has herpes, she has already had to admit it to you.
Because herpes (and in particular, genital herpes) has such a significant social stigma, admitting this is usually quite embarrassing.By admitting that she has herpes, your partner is showing how considerate and caring she is.Regardless of whether or not you choose to continue your relationship with her, you should express your appreciation that she was open and honest with you regarding her STD. , You may be so enthralled with your partner that you are willing to overlook the fact that she has herpes and accept the risk of transmission, or you may become extremely uncomfortable with the idea of having sex with someone who has an STD.
You are entitled to your feelings, but it is crucial that you communicate these feelings with your partner so that she knows where you stand in your relationship.
Take the time to think about how herpes may affect your relationship.
You can consider the ways you can be intimate without risking infection, or you can think about ways that you can engage in a sexual relationship while reducing the risk of transmission., When you are properly armed with facts regarding the herpes virus, how it affects the woman you are dating, and how it will influence your dating experience, you are more prepared to make a decision regarding continuing your relationship.
Each person will have a unique perspective on dating someone with herpes; there is no right or wrong way to approach your relationship.
However, you will definitely want to have a frank and honest conversation with her where you can express your worries and concerns and hear her opinion on if and how her herpes will affect your relationship. , When your partner told you that she was infected with herpes, she demonstrated her willingness and ability to have an open and honest relationship with you that focuses on strong communication.
Strong and healthy relationships are built around good communication, so use her example and be open and honest with her about your own life.
While you may not have experience with an STD like she does, you undoubtedly have aspects of your personal life that you don’t tell many people.
She has opened up to you about one important aspect of her life, and it may strengthen your relationship if you do the same.
Keep her trust.
While she has informed you that she is herpes-positive, it is not your place to tell anyone else without her explicit permission.
Show her that you value her openness, and maintain her trust by keeping her herpes status between the two of you. , Dating a girl with herpes will have no effect on your dating life outside of sexual intimacy and sharing of personal items.
You should treat a herpes-positive woman just as you would treat any other woman.
Take her out on special dates, surprise her with her favorite flowers, and let her know how special she is to you. , Kissing, cuddling, and fondling are safe activities with a partner who has genital herpes, while cuddling, massages, and holding hands are safe activities with a partner who has oral herpes
About the Author
Gloria Martinez
Creates helpful guides on home improvement to inspire and educate readers.
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