How to Date a Man/Woman Who Embarrasses You
Ponder what actually embarrasses you., Consider whether these qualities truly are embarrassing., Come to terms with the “embarrassing” traits or qualities., Figure out if the embarrassing aspect is something you can talk about together.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Ponder what actually embarrasses you.
Do you get embarrassed over a few off color jokes he/she tells or does his/her shrill laugh at an intimate cocktail party make the small hairs on the back of your neck stand on end? In order to successfully date someone who may embarrass you, you have to come to terms with what exactly mortifies you.
Physical features.
Perhaps no one has told your significant other that the 1980’s were a few decades ago or a solid hair washing isn’t a priority.
Some physical or style features that may not bother one person may be appalling to another.
Personality.
From dating a “close talker” to someone who drops the “f” bomb like candy, some aspects of his/her personality may be pushing you over the edge.
Social interaction.
Some folks act differently in social situations.
For example, during a cocktail party, your date may ask inappropriate questions or get just a little too hammered at your office holiday party.
Education/worldliness.
The fact that your honey didn’t realize that they were still fighting in the Middle East embarrasses you or his/her grammar isn’t quite up to snuff. -
Step 2: Consider whether these qualities truly are embarrassing.
If you really like this person, think about whether these qualities are really all that disconcerting.
Could it be you, not him/her? Could you be approaching the relationship like a teenager? To many teens, literally “everything” and “everyone” is completely embarrassing and you may finding fault in just about everything he/she does.
Is this something that perhaps only you finds to be embarrassing? In some cases, you may be the only one who is embarrassed that your date isn’t a snappy dresser or loves to dye his/her hair purple on occasion.
Take an honest look at what is really embarrassing and whether you could be too sensitive. , If you are going to continue dating this person you are either going to have to embrace the traits that make you cringe or end the relationship.
Think of the trait as endearing.
So he/she mixes plaids and stripes, or leaves the house looking like a homeless person---it’s part of his/her personality and likely part of the reason why you fell for this person.
Ignore the behavior or trait.
If he/she laughs too loudly at movies or wears funny hats resign yourself to ignoring and just enjoying his/her company.
Why get upset or uncomfortable due to a little quirk? Excuse yourself from situations where the behavior or trait rears it’s head.
If you just can’t move past it, leave the room or excuse yourself for a few minutes to collect yourself.
So when you hear him/her tell the joke about the jackass, the teacher and the plumber again…you know it’s time to make a graceful exit. , Perhaps if he/she knew something he/she did embarrassed you, something could be done to minimize or eliminate the behavior or trait.
Have you been dating long enough to be totally honest? Of course if you’ve been dating only a short time, you may want to hold off on a talk.
However, if you know each other well, take some time to tell him/her how you feel, but do so in a private setting.
Can you present your position without sounding like a jerk? Telling someone that they are embarrassing isn’t the easiest (or the nicest) thing to do.
Consider if you can approach your boyfriend/girlfriend about the matter without coming off sounding shallow or mean.
Try to determine if your boyfriend/girlfriend would automatically take offense to a discussion or may be open to hearing how you feel.
Does your squeeze tend to be defensive about certain things or may be open to hearing what you have to say? It may not even be worth telling your boyfriend/girlfriend about how you feel if it will only result in a fight or hurt feelings. -
Step 3: Come to terms with the “embarrassing” traits or qualities.
-
Step 4: Figure out if the embarrassing aspect is something you can talk about together.
Detailed Guide
Do you get embarrassed over a few off color jokes he/she tells or does his/her shrill laugh at an intimate cocktail party make the small hairs on the back of your neck stand on end? In order to successfully date someone who may embarrass you, you have to come to terms with what exactly mortifies you.
Physical features.
Perhaps no one has told your significant other that the 1980’s were a few decades ago or a solid hair washing isn’t a priority.
Some physical or style features that may not bother one person may be appalling to another.
Personality.
From dating a “close talker” to someone who drops the “f” bomb like candy, some aspects of his/her personality may be pushing you over the edge.
Social interaction.
Some folks act differently in social situations.
For example, during a cocktail party, your date may ask inappropriate questions or get just a little too hammered at your office holiday party.
Education/worldliness.
The fact that your honey didn’t realize that they were still fighting in the Middle East embarrasses you or his/her grammar isn’t quite up to snuff.
If you really like this person, think about whether these qualities are really all that disconcerting.
Could it be you, not him/her? Could you be approaching the relationship like a teenager? To many teens, literally “everything” and “everyone” is completely embarrassing and you may finding fault in just about everything he/she does.
Is this something that perhaps only you finds to be embarrassing? In some cases, you may be the only one who is embarrassed that your date isn’t a snappy dresser or loves to dye his/her hair purple on occasion.
Take an honest look at what is really embarrassing and whether you could be too sensitive. , If you are going to continue dating this person you are either going to have to embrace the traits that make you cringe or end the relationship.
Think of the trait as endearing.
So he/she mixes plaids and stripes, or leaves the house looking like a homeless person---it’s part of his/her personality and likely part of the reason why you fell for this person.
Ignore the behavior or trait.
If he/she laughs too loudly at movies or wears funny hats resign yourself to ignoring and just enjoying his/her company.
Why get upset or uncomfortable due to a little quirk? Excuse yourself from situations where the behavior or trait rears it’s head.
If you just can’t move past it, leave the room or excuse yourself for a few minutes to collect yourself.
So when you hear him/her tell the joke about the jackass, the teacher and the plumber again…you know it’s time to make a graceful exit. , Perhaps if he/she knew something he/she did embarrassed you, something could be done to minimize or eliminate the behavior or trait.
Have you been dating long enough to be totally honest? Of course if you’ve been dating only a short time, you may want to hold off on a talk.
However, if you know each other well, take some time to tell him/her how you feel, but do so in a private setting.
Can you present your position without sounding like a jerk? Telling someone that they are embarrassing isn’t the easiest (or the nicest) thing to do.
Consider if you can approach your boyfriend/girlfriend about the matter without coming off sounding shallow or mean.
Try to determine if your boyfriend/girlfriend would automatically take offense to a discussion or may be open to hearing how you feel.
Does your squeeze tend to be defensive about certain things or may be open to hearing what you have to say? It may not even be worth telling your boyfriend/girlfriend about how you feel if it will only result in a fight or hurt feelings.
About the Author
Amanda Martin
Committed to making creative arts accessible and understandable for everyone.
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