How to Date More Than One Guy at a Time (for Women)

Be open and honest about what you're doing., Tell a story that reveals you date more than one guy at a time., Note that guys have different ideas about what makes a relationship exclusive., Think about how far you want to go with one guy before you...

5 Steps 3 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Be open and honest about what you're doing.

    If you feel there is nothing wrong with dating more than one person at a time, there's no reason to hide it.

    It's good to bring it up, though, because people have different perspectives on dating.

    Some guys might think it's only okay to date one person at a time (even if you haven't committed to being in an exclusive relationship yet) and may assume you feel the same way.
  2. Step 2: Tell a story that reveals you date more than one guy at a time.

    Example: "One time I was on a date with a guy, we'd been seeing each other for about a month, and we bumped into another guy I'd gone on a date with a week earlier, and that was really awkward.

    One of them got really mad at me, because I guess he thought I was dating only him, but how was I supposed to know we were exclusive?" How does your date respond? If he disagrees with you, or acts horrified, then you'll know he's not okay with being one among many dates. , Ideally, a guy will ask you if he can be your one and only, and that can be the official day you become a couple, but in adult life, things don't always work out that way.

    So if you're not sure if he thinks you're exclusive, ask him: "When you're dating someone, how do you know when you've made the jump from just dating, to being in an exclusive relationship?"

    Some women consider it fair game to date as many men as they want, as long as they're all first dates, but when they decide they like a guy enough to go on a second date, they stop seeing other people so they can focus on that one guy.

    For other women, the third or fifth date could be where they draw the line.

    Some women also have rules around how physically intimate they are with someone (e.g. kiss as many guys as you want, but once you start having sex with a guy, have sex only with that guy). , In the age of Internet profiles, this is pretty easy.

    If you and your date know each other online, write a sentence on your dating profile like "I'm okay with a guy going on dates with other women while going on dates with me, but when things get sexual, I think they should be exclusive, and I offer the same consideration in return." You can also post a blog (on MySpace, Facebook, or anywhere that you know a person you're dating will read it) that expresses your views on this topic.

    But, the most foolproof way to get your opinion across is to say it.
  3. Step 3: Note that guys have different ideas about what makes a relationship exclusive.

  4. Step 4: Think about how far you want to go with one guy before you decide to date him exclusively.

  5. Step 5: Make your opinions known.

Detailed Guide

If you feel there is nothing wrong with dating more than one person at a time, there's no reason to hide it.

It's good to bring it up, though, because people have different perspectives on dating.

Some guys might think it's only okay to date one person at a time (even if you haven't committed to being in an exclusive relationship yet) and may assume you feel the same way.

Example: "One time I was on a date with a guy, we'd been seeing each other for about a month, and we bumped into another guy I'd gone on a date with a week earlier, and that was really awkward.

One of them got really mad at me, because I guess he thought I was dating only him, but how was I supposed to know we were exclusive?" How does your date respond? If he disagrees with you, or acts horrified, then you'll know he's not okay with being one among many dates. , Ideally, a guy will ask you if he can be your one and only, and that can be the official day you become a couple, but in adult life, things don't always work out that way.

So if you're not sure if he thinks you're exclusive, ask him: "When you're dating someone, how do you know when you've made the jump from just dating, to being in an exclusive relationship?"

Some women consider it fair game to date as many men as they want, as long as they're all first dates, but when they decide they like a guy enough to go on a second date, they stop seeing other people so they can focus on that one guy.

For other women, the third or fifth date could be where they draw the line.

Some women also have rules around how physically intimate they are with someone (e.g. kiss as many guys as you want, but once you start having sex with a guy, have sex only with that guy). , In the age of Internet profiles, this is pretty easy.

If you and your date know each other online, write a sentence on your dating profile like "I'm okay with a guy going on dates with other women while going on dates with me, but when things get sexual, I think they should be exclusive, and I offer the same consideration in return." You can also post a blog (on MySpace, Facebook, or anywhere that you know a person you're dating will read it) that expresses your views on this topic.

But, the most foolproof way to get your opinion across is to say it.

About the Author

J

James Reed

Specializes in breaking down complex practical skills topics into simple steps.

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