How to Deal With Your Dad's Girlfriend

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Adjust your routine.

   If you live with your dad, his dating life can really impact your everyday life.
   
   Even if you only live with him part time, a new person in your environment takes some getting used to.
   
   If it seems like your dad's girlfriend is always around, you might want to alter your routine.Maybe it seems like she is always watching tv when your favorite shows are on.
   
   Ask her politely if she would mind hanging out in another room while you relax with your show.
   
   Or watch it later on DVR.
   
   You could also change your routine.
   
   For example, if you feel like she is always in the kitchen whenever you are trying to make a snack, start changing your habits.
   
   Grab something on your way out the door instead of sitting down to eat.
   
   Changing your routine is probably not the best long term solution.
   
   But in the early days of getting to know someone, it can be helpful.
   
   When you are getting used to your dad's girlfriend being around, feel free to take a time out if necessary.
   
   Go to your room or for a walk if you find yourself needing some room to breathe.
2. 2

   Step 2: Protect your space.

   When someone new enters your household, it is sometimes necessary to identify boundaries.
   
   One way that you can do this is to define what counts as your space.
   
   You can have physical space (such as your room) and also emotional space.If you have your own room at your dad's house, ask that his girlfriend respect your privacy.
   
   Tell her if your door is closed, that means you are having alone time.
   
   Your emotional space is also important.
   
   If she is trying to discipline you, speak up for yourself.
   
   For example, if your curfew is 11 p.m., but she tells you to be home by 10, address the situation calmly.
   
   Try saying, "Actually, my dad requires me to be home by
   11.
   
   I'll stick to his rules, thanks."
   
   It can be confusing when your dad starts dating.
   
   Don't be afraid to let him know how his romantic life impacts you.
   
   Ask that he please not introduce you to every new woman that he dates.If your dad is in a serious relationship, it makes sense that you will be around his girlfriend.
   
   But you don't need to meet everyone he takes to dinner.
   
   Try saying, "Dad, I understand you need to socialize.
   
   But it makes me uncomfortable to make small talk with women I don't know.
   
   Please only introduce me to a serious girlfriend." Choose your words carefully.
   
   Think about what you want to say ahead of time.
   
   This will help ensure that your message is clear. , There are many different ways that your dad's girlfriend can interfere with your life.
   
   Maybe she is teasing you, or offering you unwanted advice.
   
   She could also be trying to discipline you in ways that don't work for your family.
   
   Whatever the problem is, you should clearly articulate your concerns.Talk to your dad about the problem.
   
   Be clear and specific.
   
   Try saying, "Dad, Mary has been teasing me about liking boys.
   
   This is not a topic I want to discuss with her.
   
   Please ask her to stop." When you are voicing your concerns, explain your feelings.
   
   Say, "It makes me angry when Mary interrupts me while I'm talking." Follow that by offering an idea for a solution.
   
   Try, "Dad, it would be great if you could explain to her that we don't talk to each other like that in our house."
   
   Sometimes simply voicing your concerns is not enough.
   
   As a young person, it can be difficult to get adults, even your parents, to take you seriously.
   
   Make it clear that this situation in a big problem for you and you will not continue to be ignored.Schedule a time to talk.
   
   You want to have your dad's full attention.
   
   Say, "Dad, I need to talk to you about my conflicts with Tina.
   
   When is a good time for you?" Give him a chance to think.
   
   Don't demand a solution immediately.
   
   Say, "Dad, I know you're in a difficult spot.
   
   But I really need your help, so please get back to me with a plan within a couple of days." If your dad refuses to speak with you, talk to another adult.
   
   Ask your mom or another family member to be with you while you talk to your dad. , Whether you're almost ready for college or a pre-teen, dealing with your parents' divorce can be difficult.
   
   It will likely cause a lot of changes in your life, and maybe even your living situation.
   
   As much as you might want your parents to get back together, the first step in coping with divorce is to face the reality of the situation.Face the realities of your dad having a girlfriend.
   
   Whether this is a new relationship or one that has been going on for a while, it is important to accept that she is now in your life.
   
   Accepting reality doesn't mean you can't improve the situation.
   
   It simply means that you are acknowledging that things have changed.
   
   Once you have accepted the fact that your dad is dating, you can begin to take steps to handle the situation in a positive way. , It can take some time to sort through your feelings.
   
   That is normal.
   
   But in the meantime, don't let your dad's dating life consume you.
   
   Remember that you have other things in your life to focus on.Spend time with your friends.
   
   Dealing with your dad's girlfriend can be stressful.
   
   Having fun with your friends can help relieve the pressure.
   
   Find a new hobby.
   
   Having a new focus in your life can help take your mind off of your worries.
   
   Try out for a sports team or join a club at school.
   
   Being around other people can also be a great stress relief.
   
   Make a list of the good things in your life.
   
   When you feel upset about your dad's girlfriend, look at the list and choose an item to focus on. , It can be challenging to deal with your dad's girlfriend.
   
   Maybe she chats nervously and doesn't let you get a word in edgewise.
   
   Or maybe she has no interest in you at all.
   
   Whatever your situation is, it's important that you have other people to rely on.Remember that your individual situation is different from other people's experience.
   
   But that doesn't mean that they can't support you.
   
   Turn to a trusted family member for support.
   
   Maybe you have a favorite aunt that you are close to.
   
   Tell her you're having a tough time and could use someone to talk to.
   
   Rely on your friends.
   
   Having divorced parents is very common.
   
   It's also common that they will date other people.
   
   Ask a friend to tell you about her experience.
   
   Knowing that someone else has experienced this transition can be very helpful.
3. 3

   Step 3: Assert your needs.

4. 4

   Step 4: Voice your concerns.

5. 5

   Step 5: Make yourself heard.

6. 6

   Step 6: Be realistic.

7. 7

   Step 7: Keep living your life.

8. 8

   Step 8: Find a support system.

Detailed Guide

About the Author