How to Deal with Your Partner's Creepy Friend
Be specific about the friend’s creepy behavior., Voice your concerns., Talk about conflicts., Don’t create ultimatums., Ask your partner to talk to them., Request to look over invite lists.
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Be specific about the friend’s creepy behavior.
Being able to refer to a few specific examples or types of behavior will help you express your concerns more fully and clearly to your partner.
Try to determine exactly which types of behavior you find creepy, and address those behaviors directly.
For example, instead of just telling your partner, “Jordan acts creepy with me sometimes,” say, “Jordan isn’t very respectful of my personal space.
Sometimes he touches me in ways that make me uncomfortable.” -
Step 2: Voice your concerns.
While it’s normal to have opinions about your partner’s friends, you shouldn’t feel uneasy around them.
If someone makes you feel uncomfortable, let your partner know.
You don’t have to be mean or judgmental, just express how you feel and say what’s been said or done that’s creeped you out.For example, say, “Regan makes me feel uncomfortable, especially when you leave the room.
There have been times what he’s said has crossed the line.” , If the creepy friend is affecting your relationship with your partner, talk about it.
Friendships can cause tension in relationships, so be honest and talk openly about what is bothering you about their friend.
Talk about how the friend is affecting your relationship and come up with some potential solutions or compromises.For example, you can say, “Our differences are causing us problems because we can’t see eye to eye on your friend.
I know he’s important to you.
If you hang out with him, can it be someplace outside of our house?” , It’s unfair to say things such as, “You can choose to hang out with your friend or you can choose to be my partner.” Your partner may be unwilling to part with a friend or disrupt the social group.
Don’t expect your partner to immediately comply with your demands.
Instead, focus on coming to a reasonable compromise that respects both of you.For example, say, “I can’t tell you who your friends are, but I’d appreciate it if you let me know ahead of time when your friend is coming over.” , If your partner wants to remain friends with someone who makes you feel uneasy, ask your partner to talk to them about their behavior.
It might feel less threatening for your partner to speak than for you to speak to them.
Raise your concerns with your partner and let them know what you want to be said.
For example, your partner can pull them aside and say, “My girlfriend doesn’t like it when you make comments about her body.
Please stop doing that.” , If your partner is inviting people over, ask to look at who they’re planning to invite.
Especially if you share a place together, contribute some input to the list.
If there are people you’d feel more comfortable not inviting, let your partner know.
You should feel comfortable in your own home.
If you’re planning a trip, request that the person who is creepy not be invited, as you’d rather not spend extended periods of time with them. -
Step 3: Talk about conflicts.
-
Step 4: Don’t create ultimatums.
-
Step 5: Ask your partner to talk to them.
-
Step 6: Request to look over invite lists.
Detailed Guide
Being able to refer to a few specific examples or types of behavior will help you express your concerns more fully and clearly to your partner.
Try to determine exactly which types of behavior you find creepy, and address those behaviors directly.
For example, instead of just telling your partner, “Jordan acts creepy with me sometimes,” say, “Jordan isn’t very respectful of my personal space.
Sometimes he touches me in ways that make me uncomfortable.”
While it’s normal to have opinions about your partner’s friends, you shouldn’t feel uneasy around them.
If someone makes you feel uncomfortable, let your partner know.
You don’t have to be mean or judgmental, just express how you feel and say what’s been said or done that’s creeped you out.For example, say, “Regan makes me feel uncomfortable, especially when you leave the room.
There have been times what he’s said has crossed the line.” , If the creepy friend is affecting your relationship with your partner, talk about it.
Friendships can cause tension in relationships, so be honest and talk openly about what is bothering you about their friend.
Talk about how the friend is affecting your relationship and come up with some potential solutions or compromises.For example, you can say, “Our differences are causing us problems because we can’t see eye to eye on your friend.
I know he’s important to you.
If you hang out with him, can it be someplace outside of our house?” , It’s unfair to say things such as, “You can choose to hang out with your friend or you can choose to be my partner.” Your partner may be unwilling to part with a friend or disrupt the social group.
Don’t expect your partner to immediately comply with your demands.
Instead, focus on coming to a reasonable compromise that respects both of you.For example, say, “I can’t tell you who your friends are, but I’d appreciate it if you let me know ahead of time when your friend is coming over.” , If your partner wants to remain friends with someone who makes you feel uneasy, ask your partner to talk to them about their behavior.
It might feel less threatening for your partner to speak than for you to speak to them.
Raise your concerns with your partner and let them know what you want to be said.
For example, your partner can pull them aside and say, “My girlfriend doesn’t like it when you make comments about her body.
Please stop doing that.” , If your partner is inviting people over, ask to look at who they’re planning to invite.
Especially if you share a place together, contribute some input to the list.
If there are people you’d feel more comfortable not inviting, let your partner know.
You should feel comfortable in your own home.
If you’re planning a trip, request that the person who is creepy not be invited, as you’d rather not spend extended periods of time with them.
About the Author
Teresa Nelson
Creates helpful guides on pet care to inspire and educate readers.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: