How to Flirt With a Shy Guy

Figure out what he likes., Ask him questions., Ask for his help., Compliment him.

4 Steps 3 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Figure out what he likes.

    Start by figuring out what his interests are and then talk to him about them.

    Most people are comfortable talking about things they like to do.

    Maybe he likes a certain band or loves videogames or movies.

    Or maybe it’s a sport he’s interested in.

    Act genuinely interested in his interests (but if his interests truly bore you and you’re completely faking it, consider that he’s not the right guy for you.) Even better yet, figure out areas of common interest that you both like and start there so that your interest is genuine.

    Just be yourself.
  2. Step 2: Ask him questions.

    One of the best communication techniques to get a shy person to open up is to ask them questions rather than uttering statements.

    Make the questions casual, not nosy.

    Ask him about something he likes to do or is interested in, such as whether he saw the latest movie with his favorite actor.

    Asking questions draws shy people out of their shells by helping stimulate their side of the conversation.

    Use your intellect.

    Ask open-ended questions.

    These are questions that are phrased to elicit an explanatory, detailed response.

    Start the question with words like what, how, in what way, and why.

    Asking questions that start with words like “do” will provoke terse, single-word yes or no responses. , Maybe it’s just conversation that unnerves the shy guy and stands outside his comfort zone.

    He’s probably an observer who’s deep but has trouble expressing that to strangers or people he doesn’t know very well.

    Flirt with him by asking for his help with something.

    A lot of guys do feel comfortable with being the person who helps out.

    Consider it their inner knight coming to the surface.

    Whether it’s help with your car, a math equation, or a stuck locker room door, ask if he can help you out.

    Don’t ask him for help with emotional problems, though, at this point. , Everyone likes to be complimented.

    It’s human nature.

    A shy guy is going to be no different.So point out you like the color of his shirt.

    Or that you like his new jeans or his haircut or the way he thinks.

    Don’t just point out his physical appearance, point out an attribute about him that you like.

    Perhaps it’s his loyalty or how smart he is at a certain subject.

    Say his name a lot when talking to him, and give him a lighthearted but complimentary nickname.

    This will probably get him to laugh and open up.
  3. Step 3: Ask for his help.

  4. Step 4: Compliment him.

Detailed Guide

Start by figuring out what his interests are and then talk to him about them.

Most people are comfortable talking about things they like to do.

Maybe he likes a certain band or loves videogames or movies.

Or maybe it’s a sport he’s interested in.

Act genuinely interested in his interests (but if his interests truly bore you and you’re completely faking it, consider that he’s not the right guy for you.) Even better yet, figure out areas of common interest that you both like and start there so that your interest is genuine.

Just be yourself.

One of the best communication techniques to get a shy person to open up is to ask them questions rather than uttering statements.

Make the questions casual, not nosy.

Ask him about something he likes to do or is interested in, such as whether he saw the latest movie with his favorite actor.

Asking questions draws shy people out of their shells by helping stimulate their side of the conversation.

Use your intellect.

Ask open-ended questions.

These are questions that are phrased to elicit an explanatory, detailed response.

Start the question with words like what, how, in what way, and why.

Asking questions that start with words like “do” will provoke terse, single-word yes or no responses. , Maybe it’s just conversation that unnerves the shy guy and stands outside his comfort zone.

He’s probably an observer who’s deep but has trouble expressing that to strangers or people he doesn’t know very well.

Flirt with him by asking for his help with something.

A lot of guys do feel comfortable with being the person who helps out.

Consider it their inner knight coming to the surface.

Whether it’s help with your car, a math equation, or a stuck locker room door, ask if he can help you out.

Don’t ask him for help with emotional problems, though, at this point. , Everyone likes to be complimented.

It’s human nature.

A shy guy is going to be no different.So point out you like the color of his shirt.

Or that you like his new jeans or his haircut or the way he thinks.

Don’t just point out his physical appearance, point out an attribute about him that you like.

Perhaps it’s his loyalty or how smart he is at a certain subject.

Say his name a lot when talking to him, and give him a lighthearted but complimentary nickname.

This will probably get him to laugh and open up.

About the Author

B

Brian Gordon

Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow pet care tutorials.

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