How to Gain Someone's Trust
Be reliable.Your dependability will initially be tested with small things., Keep their secrets confidential.Prove that you can be trusted by respecting their privacy.Never share any confidential information that they give you., Be honest.When...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Be reliable.Your dependability will initially be tested with small things.
Even if these things seem insignificant, they matter when you’re trying to develop trust.
For example, always return things that you borrow undamaged.If you say you are going to be somewhere, show up and be on time.
When you say you’re going to do something, no matter how small, do it.
Every time you prove that you’re dependable, trust grows.
No one is perfect.
Occasionally you are going to be late, lose a borrowed book, or forget about something you said you would do.
When this happens, apologize and own up to it immediately.
If you have to break plans that you have made with someone, then make sure to call and let the person know as soon as possible.
Try not to do this too often though because it can have a negative effect on your relationship if you are always canceling at the last minute. -
Step 2: Keep their secrets confidential.Prove that you can be trusted by respecting their privacy.Never share any confidential information that they give you.
If you do, that person probably won’t feel comfortable trusting you with their secrets again for a long time, if ever.
The only time you should consider breaking a confidence is if the person is in some kind of life-threatening danger and you need to alert someone.
Even then, the person will probably be angry with you for breaking their confidence.
If this happens, apologize and explain that you only did it because you were truly worried about their safety. , Be truthful with them, even when it’s hard.
If you think telling them the truth might hurt their feelings, try to find a considerate way to tell them.
If you make a mistake, take responsibility and own up to it.Be upfront with them.
Don’t let them find out about it some other way.
Work on showing that you’re an honest person – even if your friend isn’t directly involved in the situation.If they witness you being honest about other things and with other people, it will make them feel like you’ll be honest with them, too.
If you need to be honest with your friend about a difficult topic, try starting off like this, "Jen, I really love how our honest our friendship is, and I want to keep it that way.
I need to talk to you about something..." You could also bring up the topic like this, "Eric, this is hard to tell you, but I'm your friend and I feel like you should know about this..."
Relationships are give-and-take situations.
Sometimes, in order to receive something, you have to demonstrate that you're willing to give it.
By trusting them first, you are showing them it’s safe for them to do the same thing.For example, you could ask for their advice about a personal problem you’re experiencing, or go to them for help on a project.
You could start off by saying, "Danielle, I know I can trust you.
I really need to talk to someone I trust about this..." You could also say, "Jim, this is kind of embarrassing, but I am failing algebra right now.
If my parents knew, I'd be in serious trouble.
You're great at algebra, do you think you could help me?" You might feel vulnerable at first, but learning to trust someone usually begins by putting yourself out there. -
Step 3: Be honest.When someone learns that you've lied to them
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Step 4: they're naturally going to assume it will happen again.
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Step 5: Trust them first.By sharing something personal with your friend
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Step 6: it shows that you feel a sense of trust around them.
Detailed Guide
Even if these things seem insignificant, they matter when you’re trying to develop trust.
For example, always return things that you borrow undamaged.If you say you are going to be somewhere, show up and be on time.
When you say you’re going to do something, no matter how small, do it.
Every time you prove that you’re dependable, trust grows.
No one is perfect.
Occasionally you are going to be late, lose a borrowed book, or forget about something you said you would do.
When this happens, apologize and own up to it immediately.
If you have to break plans that you have made with someone, then make sure to call and let the person know as soon as possible.
Try not to do this too often though because it can have a negative effect on your relationship if you are always canceling at the last minute.
If you do, that person probably won’t feel comfortable trusting you with their secrets again for a long time, if ever.
The only time you should consider breaking a confidence is if the person is in some kind of life-threatening danger and you need to alert someone.
Even then, the person will probably be angry with you for breaking their confidence.
If this happens, apologize and explain that you only did it because you were truly worried about their safety. , Be truthful with them, even when it’s hard.
If you think telling them the truth might hurt their feelings, try to find a considerate way to tell them.
If you make a mistake, take responsibility and own up to it.Be upfront with them.
Don’t let them find out about it some other way.
Work on showing that you’re an honest person – even if your friend isn’t directly involved in the situation.If they witness you being honest about other things and with other people, it will make them feel like you’ll be honest with them, too.
If you need to be honest with your friend about a difficult topic, try starting off like this, "Jen, I really love how our honest our friendship is, and I want to keep it that way.
I need to talk to you about something..." You could also bring up the topic like this, "Eric, this is hard to tell you, but I'm your friend and I feel like you should know about this..."
Relationships are give-and-take situations.
Sometimes, in order to receive something, you have to demonstrate that you're willing to give it.
By trusting them first, you are showing them it’s safe for them to do the same thing.For example, you could ask for their advice about a personal problem you’re experiencing, or go to them for help on a project.
You could start off by saying, "Danielle, I know I can trust you.
I really need to talk to someone I trust about this..." You could also say, "Jim, this is kind of embarrassing, but I am failing algebra right now.
If my parents knew, I'd be in serious trouble.
You're great at algebra, do you think you could help me?" You might feel vulnerable at first, but learning to trust someone usually begins by putting yourself out there.
About the Author
Diane Sullivan
A passionate writer with expertise in creative arts topics. Loves sharing practical knowledge.
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