How to Get a Kiss on the First Date
Consider your date's boundaries., Find a good moment to kiss., Ensure that the two of you are comfortable., Move in closer, if needed., Snuggle up close., Lean over and look deeply into your partner's eyes., Tilt your head to the side slightly...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Consider your date's boundaries.
Not everyone is comfortable with kissing on the first date.
If you don't know your date very well and they haven't been hinting at wanting a kiss, don't make assumptions; give them the opportunity to say "no" or stop you.
Some people want to move slowly, so give your date the opportunity to communicate their boundaries
- and remember that they do have the right to turn down a kiss.
You can test the general mood by using other tactics of flirting
- holding hands, putting an arm around their shoulder, hugs, and gentle teasing and joking.
However, receptiveness to flirting doesn't necessarily mean receptiveness to a kiss.
Remember that different types of kissing will be received differently, as well.
A kiss on the cheek, for example, is different than a kiss on the lips.
Someone may be okay with one type of kiss, but not another.
If in doubt, ask.
Giving your date a kiss when they're not comfortable with it can ruin your chances of a second date. -
Step 2: Find a good moment to kiss.
If you've been having an enthusiastic air hockey battle and have been enjoying it together, that's great, but you probably won't have the proper atmosphere for a kiss.
The mood of the moment really does matter, so try to find a good time to kiss your date that won't feel awkward, tense, or forced.
Privacy is usually best for a first kiss, so it might be better to wait until there aren't so many people around.
This doesn't mean that you should lead your date to a secluded area, though
- that might make them think you're up to something.
Kissing in the middle of a conversation often doesn't go over very well.
Wait until you two have a moment where the conversation is minimal (but not when it's an awkward silence).
Don't kiss them while driving a car
- while it may seem tempting to just kiss them no matter where you are, it's not worth risking a car accident for a kiss. , Whether seated or standing, it's vital to have good balance, as toppling over spoils the moment. , You can try various methods of getting closer to your date.
Examples include stepping closer to them or putting your arm around them.
If your partner pulls away, save the kiss for another time.
They're not ready, and you're getting a subtle indication that now is not the right moment. , Stroke their arm or hold their hand. , Move in slowly
- this allows your date to tell what you're doing and react appropriately.
Making eye contact will increase the anticipation for both of you. , Smile and look at their lips, then back at their eyes.
Your partner will most likely grasp that you'd like to try for a kiss.
If they seem uncertain or confused, ask for permission.
A simple, "Can I kiss you?" is all that's necessary. , If your date has been receptive, then you're safe to give them a kiss.
Gently touch your lips to your partner's lips and start kissing.
To make it more special, kiss for at least 5 seconds.
Don't proceed into more intense kisses, such as French kisses or making out
- some people are fine with it, but it's risky for a first date. , How you end the kiss is just as important as how you start it.
Don't back away quickly; take it easy, smile, and if it feels right, give them a compliment that suits the mood. , If your partner makes a move first, don't panic.
Just act naturally and go with the flow. , For example, rest your head on his shoulder or smell her hair.
Talk about what you want in a person and ask him if they agree––that way, both of you will be on the same page. , Avoid vulgarities or inappropriate humor, but other than that, don't act like somebody you aren't.
If they like you for who you are, they'll still be likely to ask for a kiss. , Kissing someone becomes much less enjoyable when one person has bad breath.
Brush your teeth before the date, and before you plan to kiss the person, try to slip a breath mint or some gum into your mouth, especially if you've just had a meal together.
Just make sure to find a moment to spit out the gum before you kiss! , While a kiss could happen at any time during a first date, the end of the date might be the perfect moment to give him or her thanks.
Many people would be expecting a kiss at this stage, making it more likely that they're ready for a kiss. -
Step 3: Ensure that the two of you are comfortable.
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Step 4: Move in closer
-
Step 5: if needed.
-
Step 6: Snuggle up close.
-
Step 7: Lean over and look deeply into your partner's eyes.
-
Step 8: Tilt your head to the side slightly.
-
Step 9: Kiss them.
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Step 10: End the kiss nicely.
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Step 11: Stay attuned.
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Step 12: Hold hands or just make physical contact as seems befits the moment.
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Step 13: Act normally.
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Step 14: Freshen your breath.
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Step 15: Consider waiting until the date is over before trying for a kiss.
Detailed Guide
Not everyone is comfortable with kissing on the first date.
If you don't know your date very well and they haven't been hinting at wanting a kiss, don't make assumptions; give them the opportunity to say "no" or stop you.
Some people want to move slowly, so give your date the opportunity to communicate their boundaries
- and remember that they do have the right to turn down a kiss.
You can test the general mood by using other tactics of flirting
- holding hands, putting an arm around their shoulder, hugs, and gentle teasing and joking.
However, receptiveness to flirting doesn't necessarily mean receptiveness to a kiss.
Remember that different types of kissing will be received differently, as well.
A kiss on the cheek, for example, is different than a kiss on the lips.
Someone may be okay with one type of kiss, but not another.
If in doubt, ask.
Giving your date a kiss when they're not comfortable with it can ruin your chances of a second date.
If you've been having an enthusiastic air hockey battle and have been enjoying it together, that's great, but you probably won't have the proper atmosphere for a kiss.
The mood of the moment really does matter, so try to find a good time to kiss your date that won't feel awkward, tense, or forced.
Privacy is usually best for a first kiss, so it might be better to wait until there aren't so many people around.
This doesn't mean that you should lead your date to a secluded area, though
- that might make them think you're up to something.
Kissing in the middle of a conversation often doesn't go over very well.
Wait until you two have a moment where the conversation is minimal (but not when it's an awkward silence).
Don't kiss them while driving a car
- while it may seem tempting to just kiss them no matter where you are, it's not worth risking a car accident for a kiss. , Whether seated or standing, it's vital to have good balance, as toppling over spoils the moment. , You can try various methods of getting closer to your date.
Examples include stepping closer to them or putting your arm around them.
If your partner pulls away, save the kiss for another time.
They're not ready, and you're getting a subtle indication that now is not the right moment. , Stroke their arm or hold their hand. , Move in slowly
- this allows your date to tell what you're doing and react appropriately.
Making eye contact will increase the anticipation for both of you. , Smile and look at their lips, then back at their eyes.
Your partner will most likely grasp that you'd like to try for a kiss.
If they seem uncertain or confused, ask for permission.
A simple, "Can I kiss you?" is all that's necessary. , If your date has been receptive, then you're safe to give them a kiss.
Gently touch your lips to your partner's lips and start kissing.
To make it more special, kiss for at least 5 seconds.
Don't proceed into more intense kisses, such as French kisses or making out
- some people are fine with it, but it's risky for a first date. , How you end the kiss is just as important as how you start it.
Don't back away quickly; take it easy, smile, and if it feels right, give them a compliment that suits the mood. , If your partner makes a move first, don't panic.
Just act naturally and go with the flow. , For example, rest your head on his shoulder or smell her hair.
Talk about what you want in a person and ask him if they agree––that way, both of you will be on the same page. , Avoid vulgarities or inappropriate humor, but other than that, don't act like somebody you aren't.
If they like you for who you are, they'll still be likely to ask for a kiss. , Kissing someone becomes much less enjoyable when one person has bad breath.
Brush your teeth before the date, and before you plan to kiss the person, try to slip a breath mint or some gum into your mouth, especially if you've just had a meal together.
Just make sure to find a moment to spit out the gum before you kiss! , While a kiss could happen at any time during a first date, the end of the date might be the perfect moment to give him or her thanks.
Many people would be expecting a kiss at this stage, making it more likely that they're ready for a kiss.
About the Author
Hannah Johnson
Experienced content creator specializing in creative arts guides and tutorials.
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