How to Get a Man to Leave His Wife
Do not have sex with him, just leave the wrapping where the wife can see., Don't try to convince him or manipulate him to leave; don't try --- just succeed., Treat yourself as the prize., Figure out what benefits he is getting from staying in the...
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Do not have sex with him
A married man who cheats on his wife is doing it for physical reasons only.
Realize that at that moment, he does not want to leave his wife.
That is why he is having an affair.
If he really wanted to leave her, he would have done so before having sex.
If you already had sex with him, stop.
Tell him you cannot be with a man who is dishonest. -
Step 2: just leave the wrapping where the wife can see.
Convincing or manipulative behaviour never works in the long run.
He has to figure it out for himself.
Even if he does act on your advice or pressure, he may resent you later. , By not falling into bed with him, you are showing him that you are a woman who deserves respect and are marriage material.
Have your own life and interests.
Hopefully you have interests in common, which are things his wife doesn't enjoy.
This makes you more attractive to him. , Even if he is unhappy, he is still getting something positive from the marriage or from not breaking up.
This could be access to his children, money (he is likely scared of a divorce and losing half his income and property), emotional support, reputation (makes him feel good to be a "family man"), mutual friends, having someone to do stuff with (vacations, hobbies), her cooking and cleaning, etc.
There is no point in competing with the wife in these areas.
Don't make the mistake of wasting your time trying to be a better "wife".
Giving to him will push him away.
Just know that you cannot do anything about these facts and work on all the other steps, so that your relationship with him will outweigh the benefits. , Men need to feel masculine.
Most likely the wife has emasculated him over time, and therefore he is no longer attracted to her.
There are a lot of articles and books on what this means.
Do your homework to find out how to make him feel more masculine (and you to feel more feminine).
Admiring his masculine strengths and having the polarity of your femininity is important.
Wives who give too much, over function, make all the decisions, work too hard at the relationship, take care of everything in the marriage, and who don't know how to receive gratefully what the man has to offer, start to assume the role of the man in the family.
This makes the husband feel bad about himself and he will start to look elsewhere to validate his masculinity.
That doesn't mean you should have sex with him.
Most likely he is still having sex with his wife (even though he will tell you he is not), but he can do it without feeling anything deeply for her.
Having sex with him will not attract him to you.
You need to give him all the other things he needs to feel masculine and whole. , Becoming friends and having him confide in you takes patience.
His roots with his wife go much deeper than with you, so you need to take a long time to build up a good relationship with him.
He has to feel more than just physically attracted to you.
There needs to be an emotional bond with you.
He needs to feel safe to share his hopes, dreams, fears, emotions and insecurities with you, and know he is still loved.
Also, once you do get to know him as a person, you may discover things about his character that you don't like and re-evaluate your decision as to whether or not you want him at all. , Don't get hung up on him or too attached.
Men like to compete.
But be careful not to discuss too much about your dating others with him.
He may ask, and you can reply vaguely, but it could do more damage if you appear to be trying to make him jealous. , Don't initiate contact, calls, texts, emails, etc.
Let him come to you on his own.
He needs to do so on his own time and for his own reasons.
If he is not into you, you cannot make him love you.
If you start chasing and giving to him, he may selfishly take what you have to offer at first, but eventually he will feel emasculated and pull away (just like he is doing with his wife). , It is good to feel compassion for her.
It is not her fault.
Don't be insecure. , Trying to help him get over her, or solve his problems, will not attract him to you.
Trying to "fix" things is a masculine trait.
He has to do it himself in his own way. , Telling her about you or her husband's infidelity will only make him angry with you and destroy any future you have together.
He knows best how to deal with his wife and has to figure out his own way of leaving her.
If the wife finds out, they might end up in marriage counseling and back together. -
Step 3: Don't try to convince him or manipulate him to leave; don't try --- just succeed.
-
Step 4: Treat yourself as the prize.
-
Step 5: Figure out what benefits he is getting from staying in the marriage.
-
Step 6: Figure out what his wife isn't doing right.
-
Step 7: This means getting to know him as a person.
-
Step 8: Date others.
-
Step 9: Don't be needy.
-
Step 10: Don't be jealous of his wife or angry.
-
Step 11: Don't become his therapist or marriage counselor.
-
Step 12: Don't confront the wife.
Detailed Guide
A married man who cheats on his wife is doing it for physical reasons only.
Realize that at that moment, he does not want to leave his wife.
That is why he is having an affair.
If he really wanted to leave her, he would have done so before having sex.
If you already had sex with him, stop.
Tell him you cannot be with a man who is dishonest.
Convincing or manipulative behaviour never works in the long run.
He has to figure it out for himself.
Even if he does act on your advice or pressure, he may resent you later. , By not falling into bed with him, you are showing him that you are a woman who deserves respect and are marriage material.
Have your own life and interests.
Hopefully you have interests in common, which are things his wife doesn't enjoy.
This makes you more attractive to him. , Even if he is unhappy, he is still getting something positive from the marriage or from not breaking up.
This could be access to his children, money (he is likely scared of a divorce and losing half his income and property), emotional support, reputation (makes him feel good to be a "family man"), mutual friends, having someone to do stuff with (vacations, hobbies), her cooking and cleaning, etc.
There is no point in competing with the wife in these areas.
Don't make the mistake of wasting your time trying to be a better "wife".
Giving to him will push him away.
Just know that you cannot do anything about these facts and work on all the other steps, so that your relationship with him will outweigh the benefits. , Men need to feel masculine.
Most likely the wife has emasculated him over time, and therefore he is no longer attracted to her.
There are a lot of articles and books on what this means.
Do your homework to find out how to make him feel more masculine (and you to feel more feminine).
Admiring his masculine strengths and having the polarity of your femininity is important.
Wives who give too much, over function, make all the decisions, work too hard at the relationship, take care of everything in the marriage, and who don't know how to receive gratefully what the man has to offer, start to assume the role of the man in the family.
This makes the husband feel bad about himself and he will start to look elsewhere to validate his masculinity.
That doesn't mean you should have sex with him.
Most likely he is still having sex with his wife (even though he will tell you he is not), but he can do it without feeling anything deeply for her.
Having sex with him will not attract him to you.
You need to give him all the other things he needs to feel masculine and whole. , Becoming friends and having him confide in you takes patience.
His roots with his wife go much deeper than with you, so you need to take a long time to build up a good relationship with him.
He has to feel more than just physically attracted to you.
There needs to be an emotional bond with you.
He needs to feel safe to share his hopes, dreams, fears, emotions and insecurities with you, and know he is still loved.
Also, once you do get to know him as a person, you may discover things about his character that you don't like and re-evaluate your decision as to whether or not you want him at all. , Don't get hung up on him or too attached.
Men like to compete.
But be careful not to discuss too much about your dating others with him.
He may ask, and you can reply vaguely, but it could do more damage if you appear to be trying to make him jealous. , Don't initiate contact, calls, texts, emails, etc.
Let him come to you on his own.
He needs to do so on his own time and for his own reasons.
If he is not into you, you cannot make him love you.
If you start chasing and giving to him, he may selfishly take what you have to offer at first, but eventually he will feel emasculated and pull away (just like he is doing with his wife). , It is good to feel compassion for her.
It is not her fault.
Don't be insecure. , Trying to help him get over her, or solve his problems, will not attract him to you.
Trying to "fix" things is a masculine trait.
He has to do it himself in his own way. , Telling her about you or her husband's infidelity will only make him angry with you and destroy any future you have together.
He knows best how to deal with his wife and has to figure out his own way of leaving her.
If the wife finds out, they might end up in marriage counseling and back together.
About the Author
Martha Roberts
Enthusiastic about teaching DIY projects techniques through clear, step-by-step guides.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: