How to Get Your Best Friend's Boyfriend to Like You
Smile., Say his name., Make eye contact., Speak in an animated tone of voice., Encourage him to talk about himself., Remember things about him., Give them couple space., Be careful what you tell your friend., Know your boundaries., Mind your...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Smile.
He’ll likely be nervous about making a good impression with his girlfriend’s best friend.
Put his mind at ease by flashing a big smile when you meet him.
A genuine smile is perceived as a sign that we like someone and want to be friends with them.
In a genuine smile, the corners of the mouth are pulled upward and the muscles around the eyes contract.
Make sure your smile looks welcoming and real.
Don't give him a flirty smile or you'll risk offending your friend.
In a flirty smile, the head is slightly tilted and the eyes are peeking upward at a person. -
Step 2: Say his name.
Everyone likes the sound of their own name.
Try to say his name about three times during your conversation.
Don’t be obvious about it, just look for places where you can say it naturally.
If his name is John, you might say things like:“It’s so nice to finally meet you, John, I’ve heard so much about you.” “John, I heard you took my friend camping last week, how was that?” “I’m really glad that you make my friend so happy John.” , Show him that you’re interested in getting to know him by making easy eye contact with him.
Your eyes communicate even more to people about the way you feel than your words do.
If you can't make eye contact with your friend's boyfriend, it will be almost impossible to build a real friendship with him.
Try to make eye contact fifty percent of the time while you're speaking to someone and seventy percent of the time while you're listening to them.
If you lock eyes more than that, you'll appear creepy or aggressive.
You should maintain eye contact for at least four to five seconds at a time.
If your eyes jump around too often in a conversation, you'll appear nervous which can make people uncomfortable.
Don't look down.
Looking down communicates a lack of confidence.
When you look away from the person you're talking to, look to the side instead., Show that you’re happy to meet him by giving your voice an energetic inflection.
We like people who speak with enthusiasm.
They come off as fun and exciting.
If you speak in a boring, monotone voice, he won’t believe that you enjoy talking to him.
Speaking with enthusiasm can take some effort if you're not used to it.
Practice speaking in an energetic voice in the mirror a few times before trying it out on people.
After you get it down, you may find that simply acting excited can give you natural energy to help you actually feel that way.
Speaking enthusiastically can be contagious.
You'll be surprised to see how often your electric energy is returned to you.
You'll have fun talking to people and they'll have fun talking to you., Everyone loves to talk about themselves.
It stimulates the same pleasure centre in the brain as eating food and winning money.Ask him questions that lead him to tell you what’s going on in his life.
Ask questions like: “What do you do for work?” “What are some of your favorite hobbies?” “What kind of music do you like?” , Every time you see him, try to bring up topics you’ve discussed with him previously.
He’ll be flattered that you care enough to remember what he’s been up to.Try saying things like: “Last time we spoke, you were working on that project for work, how did it turn out?” “Are you still enjoying volunteering at the animal shelter”? “Your car looks really nice.
I see you got those new rims you were talking about.” , Relationships need intimacy to be able to grow.
Give your friend and her boyfriend some time to enjoy each other’s company alone.
Don’t try to jam yourself between them.
They may start to resent you if you’re around all the time.Don’t make it awkward.
If you sense that they’d like to spend some time alone, find a way to excuse yourself.
Don’t invite yourself to go out with them.
If they want you to join in their plans, they’ll ask you to. , Don’t talk bad to your friend about her boyfriend.
Anything you say will likely to get back to him and he’ll feel betrayed by your comments.If you’re nice to him in person but you talk about him behind his back, he’ll think you’re two-faced and won’t want to be around you.
When your friend vents to you about her boyfriend, don’t take it as an opportunity to air your own grievances about him.
For example, she might say something like "He has no fashion sense." Even if you agree, don't speak up.
She might tell him what you said during an argument and he could take it personally.
Be a good friend.
The only time it's okay talk negatively about your friend's boyfriend to her is if you see him acting abusive or disrespectful to her.
Make sure to show compassion without being judgmental.
Say something like "I respect you and your relationship, but I really don't think the way he treats you is okay.
I'm here for you if you ever need support." Don’t tell your friend anything you don’t want her boyfriend to know.
She might be tempted to share your secrets with him. , Don’t get too close to your friend’s boyfriend.
While you want to be friendly with him, you don’t want to cross the line.
Never contact or spend time with him without your friend’s knowledge.He’ll think you want more from him than just friendship or that you’re trying to test his loyalty.
If he tells your friend, you could lose her completely.
The only time it’s acceptable to call him secretly is if you’re planning something like a surprise party for your friend.
Don’t comment excessively on his pictures or send him messages on social media.
Don’t ask him to go hang out without your friend. , There are certain things about your friend’s relationship that are none of your concern.
Resist the urge to learn all the juicy details.
Don’t ask questions that could make them feel uncomfortable or cause a rift to form in their relationship.
Try not to say things like: “The two of you have been together awhile, when are you getting married?” “Which one of you makes more money?” “Do you both want kids in the future?” , Don’t think of your friend’s boyfriend as someone who’s trying to steal her away.
Rather, think of him as a new addition to your circle of friends.
He’ll feel more comfortable around you if you welcome him into your group.Get excited to learn more about someone who is important to your friend.
Think about what qualities he has that are fun to be around.
You may feel sometimes feel like a "third wheel" when you're out with the two of them.
Realize that he might feel like an outsider being around two best friends.
Instead of worrying about being left out, try to find ways to make him feel included in your friendship. , If you care about your friend, you should be glad that she has a guy in her life that makes her happy.
Just because she has a boyfriend who she likes doesn’t mean that she likes you any less.
If he's a good guy, he’ll respect you when he sees that you have your friend’s best interest at heart.
Stop thinking about yourself and think about what’s best for your friend.
Understand that romance is a part of growing up and your friend needs to experience relationships in order to grow as a person.
However, she still needs her best friend.
See her relationship as a chance for you to strengthen your friendship.
If you're supportive of her through her relationship, the bond between the two of you could grow more powerful. , Ask him if he has any single friends.You just may hit if off with one of them.
This may be an opportunity for you to find your own boyfriend.
Your friend’s boyfriend will be excited to bring his buddy along to meet you.
If you like a particular one of his friends you can say something like "Your friend is really cute.
You should ask him to come along the next time we all hang out." You can go on fun double dates.
Don’t be pushy.
Don’t ask him about his friends too often. , Friends are important, but you should still have your own life away from them.
Rather than worrying that your friend won’t be around as much, take some time to focus on doing some things that you enjoy.
Your friend’s boyfriend will like that you have your own interests and that you aren’t completely dependent on other people.
Try out some new hobbies like painting, writing, playing sports or anything else you might find interesting.
You might even have time to make more friends and make your social circle larger.
If you're around someone too often, your personal identity can get tied up with them.
It can be exciting to find out who you are and what you enjoy apart from your friend. -
Step 3: Make eye contact.
-
Step 4: Speak in an animated tone of voice.
-
Step 5: Encourage him to talk about himself.
-
Step 6: Remember things about him.
-
Step 7: Give them couple space.
-
Step 8: Be careful what you tell your friend.
-
Step 9: Know your boundaries.
-
Step 10: Mind your business.
-
Step 11: Realize you’re gaining a friend.
-
Step 12: Be happy for your friend.
-
Step 13: Get a date.
-
Step 14: Learn to be more independent.
Detailed Guide
He’ll likely be nervous about making a good impression with his girlfriend’s best friend.
Put his mind at ease by flashing a big smile when you meet him.
A genuine smile is perceived as a sign that we like someone and want to be friends with them.
In a genuine smile, the corners of the mouth are pulled upward and the muscles around the eyes contract.
Make sure your smile looks welcoming and real.
Don't give him a flirty smile or you'll risk offending your friend.
In a flirty smile, the head is slightly tilted and the eyes are peeking upward at a person.
Everyone likes the sound of their own name.
Try to say his name about three times during your conversation.
Don’t be obvious about it, just look for places where you can say it naturally.
If his name is John, you might say things like:“It’s so nice to finally meet you, John, I’ve heard so much about you.” “John, I heard you took my friend camping last week, how was that?” “I’m really glad that you make my friend so happy John.” , Show him that you’re interested in getting to know him by making easy eye contact with him.
Your eyes communicate even more to people about the way you feel than your words do.
If you can't make eye contact with your friend's boyfriend, it will be almost impossible to build a real friendship with him.
Try to make eye contact fifty percent of the time while you're speaking to someone and seventy percent of the time while you're listening to them.
If you lock eyes more than that, you'll appear creepy or aggressive.
You should maintain eye contact for at least four to five seconds at a time.
If your eyes jump around too often in a conversation, you'll appear nervous which can make people uncomfortable.
Don't look down.
Looking down communicates a lack of confidence.
When you look away from the person you're talking to, look to the side instead., Show that you’re happy to meet him by giving your voice an energetic inflection.
We like people who speak with enthusiasm.
They come off as fun and exciting.
If you speak in a boring, monotone voice, he won’t believe that you enjoy talking to him.
Speaking with enthusiasm can take some effort if you're not used to it.
Practice speaking in an energetic voice in the mirror a few times before trying it out on people.
After you get it down, you may find that simply acting excited can give you natural energy to help you actually feel that way.
Speaking enthusiastically can be contagious.
You'll be surprised to see how often your electric energy is returned to you.
You'll have fun talking to people and they'll have fun talking to you., Everyone loves to talk about themselves.
It stimulates the same pleasure centre in the brain as eating food and winning money.Ask him questions that lead him to tell you what’s going on in his life.
Ask questions like: “What do you do for work?” “What are some of your favorite hobbies?” “What kind of music do you like?” , Every time you see him, try to bring up topics you’ve discussed with him previously.
He’ll be flattered that you care enough to remember what he’s been up to.Try saying things like: “Last time we spoke, you were working on that project for work, how did it turn out?” “Are you still enjoying volunteering at the animal shelter”? “Your car looks really nice.
I see you got those new rims you were talking about.” , Relationships need intimacy to be able to grow.
Give your friend and her boyfriend some time to enjoy each other’s company alone.
Don’t try to jam yourself between them.
They may start to resent you if you’re around all the time.Don’t make it awkward.
If you sense that they’d like to spend some time alone, find a way to excuse yourself.
Don’t invite yourself to go out with them.
If they want you to join in their plans, they’ll ask you to. , Don’t talk bad to your friend about her boyfriend.
Anything you say will likely to get back to him and he’ll feel betrayed by your comments.If you’re nice to him in person but you talk about him behind his back, he’ll think you’re two-faced and won’t want to be around you.
When your friend vents to you about her boyfriend, don’t take it as an opportunity to air your own grievances about him.
For example, she might say something like "He has no fashion sense." Even if you agree, don't speak up.
She might tell him what you said during an argument and he could take it personally.
Be a good friend.
The only time it's okay talk negatively about your friend's boyfriend to her is if you see him acting abusive or disrespectful to her.
Make sure to show compassion without being judgmental.
Say something like "I respect you and your relationship, but I really don't think the way he treats you is okay.
I'm here for you if you ever need support." Don’t tell your friend anything you don’t want her boyfriend to know.
She might be tempted to share your secrets with him. , Don’t get too close to your friend’s boyfriend.
While you want to be friendly with him, you don’t want to cross the line.
Never contact or spend time with him without your friend’s knowledge.He’ll think you want more from him than just friendship or that you’re trying to test his loyalty.
If he tells your friend, you could lose her completely.
The only time it’s acceptable to call him secretly is if you’re planning something like a surprise party for your friend.
Don’t comment excessively on his pictures or send him messages on social media.
Don’t ask him to go hang out without your friend. , There are certain things about your friend’s relationship that are none of your concern.
Resist the urge to learn all the juicy details.
Don’t ask questions that could make them feel uncomfortable or cause a rift to form in their relationship.
Try not to say things like: “The two of you have been together awhile, when are you getting married?” “Which one of you makes more money?” “Do you both want kids in the future?” , Don’t think of your friend’s boyfriend as someone who’s trying to steal her away.
Rather, think of him as a new addition to your circle of friends.
He’ll feel more comfortable around you if you welcome him into your group.Get excited to learn more about someone who is important to your friend.
Think about what qualities he has that are fun to be around.
You may feel sometimes feel like a "third wheel" when you're out with the two of them.
Realize that he might feel like an outsider being around two best friends.
Instead of worrying about being left out, try to find ways to make him feel included in your friendship. , If you care about your friend, you should be glad that she has a guy in her life that makes her happy.
Just because she has a boyfriend who she likes doesn’t mean that she likes you any less.
If he's a good guy, he’ll respect you when he sees that you have your friend’s best interest at heart.
Stop thinking about yourself and think about what’s best for your friend.
Understand that romance is a part of growing up and your friend needs to experience relationships in order to grow as a person.
However, she still needs her best friend.
See her relationship as a chance for you to strengthen your friendship.
If you're supportive of her through her relationship, the bond between the two of you could grow more powerful. , Ask him if he has any single friends.You just may hit if off with one of them.
This may be an opportunity for you to find your own boyfriend.
Your friend’s boyfriend will be excited to bring his buddy along to meet you.
If you like a particular one of his friends you can say something like "Your friend is really cute.
You should ask him to come along the next time we all hang out." You can go on fun double dates.
Don’t be pushy.
Don’t ask him about his friends too often. , Friends are important, but you should still have your own life away from them.
Rather than worrying that your friend won’t be around as much, take some time to focus on doing some things that you enjoy.
Your friend’s boyfriend will like that you have your own interests and that you aren’t completely dependent on other people.
Try out some new hobbies like painting, writing, playing sports or anything else you might find interesting.
You might even have time to make more friends and make your social circle larger.
If you're around someone too often, your personal identity can get tied up with them.
It can be exciting to find out who you are and what you enjoy apart from your friend.
About the Author
Christina Murphy
A passionate writer with expertise in crafts topics. Loves sharing practical knowledge.
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