How to Go About Office Romance
Read up on your company policy regarding office romance (if one exists)., Take extra care when asking someone on a date or trying to initiate a relationship., Decide together how you will present your relationship at the office., Exercise...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Read up on your company policy regarding office romance (if one exists).
Some companies have “anti-fraternization policies” that prohibit or discourage dating your coworkers.
You can ask your HR person what is and is not acceptable if the policies seem unclear.
Beyond the explicit policies, you should also think about the company culture and how accepting your employer appears to be of office romances.
While policies prohibiting dating may not withstand a court challenge, you should still be prepared to face the consequences (including termination) if you follow your heart and disregard the policy. -
Step 2: Take extra care when asking someone on a date or trying to initiate a relationship.
The office is not a bar or singles club, so you shouldn’t try to “pick up” someone at work.
If you both have feelings for each other, they’ll become obvious eventually, but make sure that the feelings are mutual before you make a move.
If they're not, back off and drop the subject immediately or you may find yourself in the midst of a sexual harassment complaint.
If you’re not sure how the other person feels, and you’re getting impatient, just catch your love interest on the way out of the office, or when you’re out for drinks with coworkers, and ask.
Especially at this early stage, do not discuss love matters in the office or on company time. , When you first start a relationship with a coworker, you should discuss how you will treat each other at the office.
Will you occasionally flirt playfully, or will you act as though you have no relationship outside of work? By extension, consider if and how you will disclose your relationship to other employees.
At the beginning, you may want to keep the relationship secret, but you’ll both need to agree on this. , Even if you’re married or in a long-term relationship with someone, don’t flaunt your relationship at work.
Public displays of affection, frequent visits to each other’s desks, and discussion of your personal lives with coworkers are to be discouraged, if only because they are a waste of company time and give other employees more information than they need to know.
Leave spats at home, and be professional when in the office. , Most of the time you can tell pretty early whether a person will be able to handle a relationship (or a breakup) maturely.
Does that person talk about their previous boyfriends or girlfriends at work? Are they particularly emotional? If a person seems to have a hard time with relationships or brings his or her love life into the office, avoid the risk of a bad scene by not getting involved with that person or, if you’re already involved, by getting out of the relationship quickly. , If you’re not happy dating someone, sooner or later you’ll break up.
All too often, people let things drag on for too long, but in the end this usually causes more deeply hurt feelings than a quick, early breakup.
You want to avoid a blowup at the office, and you need to be able to continue to work with you ex, so minimize the damage to your working relationship by being decisive about a breakup while also being extra tactful.
If you’re going to break up with someone, try to do it after work on a Friday so that you’ll both have time to calm down over the weekend. , It’s hard to deal with feelings of rejection, but you don’t want to jeopardize your employment by bringing your pain into the office.
If you just can’t handle seeing the person right away, take a little vacation so you have time to put things in perspective. ,, In the long run, one of the biggest challenges to an office romance is that you don’t get to spend any time apart, and this challenge becomes more serious when you’re married or living together.
No matter how much you love someone, you need some time apart, and work usually serves this purpose.
When you work with your spouse or boyfriend / girlfriend, however, you can end up spending every waking hour with that person.
If this is the case, make time on some evenings or on weekends when you can both do your own thing and get away from each other. , Office romances can be successful or they can be disasters.
Only you know what the political atmosphere of your office is, and only you know how much you care about a person.
Sometimes, despite the risk, love is worth it. -
Step 3: Decide together how you will present your relationship at the office.
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Step 4: Exercise discretion.
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Step 5: Try to judge the other person’s maturity early on.
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Step 6: Waste no time ending a relationship that isn’t working
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Step 7: but do it right.
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Step 8: Take a day or two off if you’re devastated after a breakup.
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Step 9: Prepare yourselves for competition.
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Step 10: Find time to be apart.
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Step 11: Use your best judgment.
Detailed Guide
Some companies have “anti-fraternization policies” that prohibit or discourage dating your coworkers.
You can ask your HR person what is and is not acceptable if the policies seem unclear.
Beyond the explicit policies, you should also think about the company culture and how accepting your employer appears to be of office romances.
While policies prohibiting dating may not withstand a court challenge, you should still be prepared to face the consequences (including termination) if you follow your heart and disregard the policy.
The office is not a bar or singles club, so you shouldn’t try to “pick up” someone at work.
If you both have feelings for each other, they’ll become obvious eventually, but make sure that the feelings are mutual before you make a move.
If they're not, back off and drop the subject immediately or you may find yourself in the midst of a sexual harassment complaint.
If you’re not sure how the other person feels, and you’re getting impatient, just catch your love interest on the way out of the office, or when you’re out for drinks with coworkers, and ask.
Especially at this early stage, do not discuss love matters in the office or on company time. , When you first start a relationship with a coworker, you should discuss how you will treat each other at the office.
Will you occasionally flirt playfully, or will you act as though you have no relationship outside of work? By extension, consider if and how you will disclose your relationship to other employees.
At the beginning, you may want to keep the relationship secret, but you’ll both need to agree on this. , Even if you’re married or in a long-term relationship with someone, don’t flaunt your relationship at work.
Public displays of affection, frequent visits to each other’s desks, and discussion of your personal lives with coworkers are to be discouraged, if only because they are a waste of company time and give other employees more information than they need to know.
Leave spats at home, and be professional when in the office. , Most of the time you can tell pretty early whether a person will be able to handle a relationship (or a breakup) maturely.
Does that person talk about their previous boyfriends or girlfriends at work? Are they particularly emotional? If a person seems to have a hard time with relationships or brings his or her love life into the office, avoid the risk of a bad scene by not getting involved with that person or, if you’re already involved, by getting out of the relationship quickly. , If you’re not happy dating someone, sooner or later you’ll break up.
All too often, people let things drag on for too long, but in the end this usually causes more deeply hurt feelings than a quick, early breakup.
You want to avoid a blowup at the office, and you need to be able to continue to work with you ex, so minimize the damage to your working relationship by being decisive about a breakup while also being extra tactful.
If you’re going to break up with someone, try to do it after work on a Friday so that you’ll both have time to calm down over the weekend. , It’s hard to deal with feelings of rejection, but you don’t want to jeopardize your employment by bringing your pain into the office.
If you just can’t handle seeing the person right away, take a little vacation so you have time to put things in perspective. ,, In the long run, one of the biggest challenges to an office romance is that you don’t get to spend any time apart, and this challenge becomes more serious when you’re married or living together.
No matter how much you love someone, you need some time apart, and work usually serves this purpose.
When you work with your spouse or boyfriend / girlfriend, however, you can end up spending every waking hour with that person.
If this is the case, make time on some evenings or on weekends when you can both do your own thing and get away from each other. , Office romances can be successful or they can be disasters.
Only you know what the political atmosphere of your office is, and only you know how much you care about a person.
Sometimes, despite the risk, love is worth it.
About the Author
Nathan Ramirez
Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow DIY projects tutorials.
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