How to Have a Good Relationship with Your Girlfriend
Have honest and open conversations., Practice active listening., Pay attention to the nonverbal communication you both share., Don't get personal when you get angry., Don't yell or scream when you have fights., Follow other fair fighting rules.
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Have honest and open conversations.
Talking to your girlfriend face-to-face is an excellent way to gain a better understanding of her.
Sometimes you can't pick up on things like voice intonation or sarcasm through text message, and you can't look at her body language when you're talking to her over the phone.
Set some time aside to speak with her openly and honestly about anything.
It could be small-talk about how your day went, or it can be deeper and more meaningful conversations about what makes you both happy.You can start the conversation by saying something like, "Hey I wanted to talk to you about where we are going in the relationship.
Do you have time right now?" Talking about things that you feel vulnerable about will encourage your girlfriend to do the same.
This can bring you both closer together.For example, you could talk about your first childhood memories, a favorite family traditions, worst fears, or lifelong dreams. -
Step 2: Practice active listening.
Active listening engages both people deeper in a conversation and will make your girlfriend appreciate you more.
To practice active listening, concentrate on what she is saying without interrupting.
Do not judge her or criticize her if she tells you something embarrassing, because it could prevent her from telling you things in the future.
Paraphrase things that she says and ask specific questions about what she is talking about.
Try to give advice that helps her and is in her best interests if she seems like she wants it.To paraphrase, say something like "So what you're saying is that she was acting immature." Sometimes people just want someone to talk to and not to receive advice or judgment.
Wait for her to ask you for your opinion before trying to help. , Talking to someone is not the only form of communication that exists in a relationship.
Nonverbal communication is also incredibly important.
If you pay attention to your girlfriend's body language, you'll be able to determine how they feel at the moment.
Crossed arms may mean they feel defensive or closed off and may mean that they aren't interested in what you have to say, or the subject matter is hard to talk about.Once you can evaluate your girlfriend's body language, you can notice when she's feeling uncomfortable or angry.
If your girlfriend doesn't say anything, but she's exhibiting negative body language, ask her if something is wrong.
Make sure that you aren't giving off any negative signals with the way your body is positioned. , There's a tendency for some people to bring up negative times from the past or to intentionally hurt their girlfriend's feelings during an argument.
Stay on track when you're communicating with your girlfriend and avoid being critical of things that have already happened.
Do not intentionally hurt their feelings because it can create a negative atmosphere for the relationship and it can become emotionally abusive.
Work on deescalating conflict within your relationship before it gets out of hand or jumps to a different, unrelated issue. , Managing your anger during a disagreement or argument is an important part of maintaining a healthy relationship.
Avoid escalating confrontations and avoid yelling at her.
When people are aggressive, they tend to get defensive responses from their significant others.
If your girlfriend is the one yelling or screaming, do not match her energy.
Keep your voice civil and try to bring the conversation down.
Escalating the anger during a disagreement could make a conversation spiral out of control and can damage the relationship over the long run.
When someone shouts or screams at you, your limbic system is engaged and will affect your amygdala which houses emotional responses in your brain.When you notice yourself beginning to get angry, take a break from the conversation and walk away.
You can say something like "I'm super angry right now, and I just need to get some fresh air.
I'm going to take a walk and then we can talk about this when I get home."
Sometimes a fight is unavoidable.
When this happens, then best thing to do is to engage in the argument in a civil manner.
Along with not yelling or screaming at each other, some things to avoid to ensure a fair fight include:
Degrading language or name calling.
Casting blame.
Using physical force.
Threatening divorce.
Making assumptions or judgments about your spouse.
Bringing up past issues or piling on lots of complaints at once.
Interrupting your partner or talking over them. -
Step 3: Pay attention to the nonverbal communication you both share.
-
Step 4: Don't get personal when you get angry.
-
Step 5: Don't yell or scream when you have fights.
-
Step 6: Follow other fair fighting rules.
Detailed Guide
Talking to your girlfriend face-to-face is an excellent way to gain a better understanding of her.
Sometimes you can't pick up on things like voice intonation or sarcasm through text message, and you can't look at her body language when you're talking to her over the phone.
Set some time aside to speak with her openly and honestly about anything.
It could be small-talk about how your day went, or it can be deeper and more meaningful conversations about what makes you both happy.You can start the conversation by saying something like, "Hey I wanted to talk to you about where we are going in the relationship.
Do you have time right now?" Talking about things that you feel vulnerable about will encourage your girlfriend to do the same.
This can bring you both closer together.For example, you could talk about your first childhood memories, a favorite family traditions, worst fears, or lifelong dreams.
Active listening engages both people deeper in a conversation and will make your girlfriend appreciate you more.
To practice active listening, concentrate on what she is saying without interrupting.
Do not judge her or criticize her if she tells you something embarrassing, because it could prevent her from telling you things in the future.
Paraphrase things that she says and ask specific questions about what she is talking about.
Try to give advice that helps her and is in her best interests if she seems like she wants it.To paraphrase, say something like "So what you're saying is that she was acting immature." Sometimes people just want someone to talk to and not to receive advice or judgment.
Wait for her to ask you for your opinion before trying to help. , Talking to someone is not the only form of communication that exists in a relationship.
Nonverbal communication is also incredibly important.
If you pay attention to your girlfriend's body language, you'll be able to determine how they feel at the moment.
Crossed arms may mean they feel defensive or closed off and may mean that they aren't interested in what you have to say, or the subject matter is hard to talk about.Once you can evaluate your girlfriend's body language, you can notice when she's feeling uncomfortable or angry.
If your girlfriend doesn't say anything, but she's exhibiting negative body language, ask her if something is wrong.
Make sure that you aren't giving off any negative signals with the way your body is positioned. , There's a tendency for some people to bring up negative times from the past or to intentionally hurt their girlfriend's feelings during an argument.
Stay on track when you're communicating with your girlfriend and avoid being critical of things that have already happened.
Do not intentionally hurt their feelings because it can create a negative atmosphere for the relationship and it can become emotionally abusive.
Work on deescalating conflict within your relationship before it gets out of hand or jumps to a different, unrelated issue. , Managing your anger during a disagreement or argument is an important part of maintaining a healthy relationship.
Avoid escalating confrontations and avoid yelling at her.
When people are aggressive, they tend to get defensive responses from their significant others.
If your girlfriend is the one yelling or screaming, do not match her energy.
Keep your voice civil and try to bring the conversation down.
Escalating the anger during a disagreement could make a conversation spiral out of control and can damage the relationship over the long run.
When someone shouts or screams at you, your limbic system is engaged and will affect your amygdala which houses emotional responses in your brain.When you notice yourself beginning to get angry, take a break from the conversation and walk away.
You can say something like "I'm super angry right now, and I just need to get some fresh air.
I'm going to take a walk and then we can talk about this when I get home."
Sometimes a fight is unavoidable.
When this happens, then best thing to do is to engage in the argument in a civil manner.
Along with not yelling or screaming at each other, some things to avoid to ensure a fair fight include:
Degrading language or name calling.
Casting blame.
Using physical force.
Threatening divorce.
Making assumptions or judgments about your spouse.
Bringing up past issues or piling on lots of complaints at once.
Interrupting your partner or talking over them.
About the Author
David Mitchell
Committed to making creative arts accessible and understandable for everyone.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: