How to Help a Grieving Spouse
Listen to your spouse., Encourage your spouse to let out emotion., Allow your spouse to be silent., Let your spouse grieve for as long as needed.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Listen to your spouse.
Part of the grieving process is being able to talk about the deceased person and work through memories and feelings about that person.
Be there for your spouse by listening to him or her talk about the deceased person.
Don’t discourage your spouse not to talk about the person.
Your spouse should focus on the good memories and the things he or she loved about the person.If your spouse starts talking about things he or she didn’t like about the person or bad memories, that’s okay, too.
Let your spouse get it all out.
Tell your spouse, “I am here to listen if you want to talk about the person.” Share your own memories about the person.
Talking about the person with your spouse can help him or her remember the good things or work towards acceptance. -
Step 2: Encourage your spouse to let out emotion.
Going through the different emotions associated with grief is important.
Never tell your spouse not to cry or show other emotions.
Instead, encourage your spouse to let out his or her emotion.
Your spouse may feel guilt or despair.
Cry with your spouse if you can.
If not, be there and let your spouse cry while you love and support him or her.Some people may get angry during the grief process.
That is a normal part of grief.
Don’t tell your spouse to calm down or stop being angry.
Let him or her work through that emotion.
Let your spouse yell if he or she needs to.
Fear of death or obsession about death is another common emotional response during the grieving process.
You may tell your spouse, “What you are feeling is valid.
Let it out.
I am here no matter what emotion you are feeling.” , It’s okay if your spouse doesn’t want to talk.
Sometimes, your spouse may just want to sit with you and not talk.
You can still be there for your spouse even if he or she doesn’t want to talk.
Support doesn’t always come in the form of words.You can sit with your spouse.
Just having you near will provide comfort.
Touch your spouse.
Hold his or her hand, squeeze his or her arm, or sit with your arm around his or her shoulders.
Offer hugs and offer to just hold your spouse for as long as he or she needs you to. , Everyone grieves on a different schedule.
Some people may ignore what has occurred and go on about their normal life for awhile after the death, and then one day weeks or months later they start to grieve.
Other people may grieve immediately.
Most people take between one and half to two years to fully grieve.Your spouse may take longer to grieve.
That is okay.
Don’t encourage your spouse to get over it or stop grieving.
Don’t add extra stress on your spouse by making him or her feel like he or she has been grieving for too long.
Let your spouse grieve at his or her own pace. -
Step 3: Allow your spouse to be silent.
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Step 4: Let your spouse grieve for as long as needed.
Detailed Guide
Part of the grieving process is being able to talk about the deceased person and work through memories and feelings about that person.
Be there for your spouse by listening to him or her talk about the deceased person.
Don’t discourage your spouse not to talk about the person.
Your spouse should focus on the good memories and the things he or she loved about the person.If your spouse starts talking about things he or she didn’t like about the person or bad memories, that’s okay, too.
Let your spouse get it all out.
Tell your spouse, “I am here to listen if you want to talk about the person.” Share your own memories about the person.
Talking about the person with your spouse can help him or her remember the good things or work towards acceptance.
Going through the different emotions associated with grief is important.
Never tell your spouse not to cry or show other emotions.
Instead, encourage your spouse to let out his or her emotion.
Your spouse may feel guilt or despair.
Cry with your spouse if you can.
If not, be there and let your spouse cry while you love and support him or her.Some people may get angry during the grief process.
That is a normal part of grief.
Don’t tell your spouse to calm down or stop being angry.
Let him or her work through that emotion.
Let your spouse yell if he or she needs to.
Fear of death or obsession about death is another common emotional response during the grieving process.
You may tell your spouse, “What you are feeling is valid.
Let it out.
I am here no matter what emotion you are feeling.” , It’s okay if your spouse doesn’t want to talk.
Sometimes, your spouse may just want to sit with you and not talk.
You can still be there for your spouse even if he or she doesn’t want to talk.
Support doesn’t always come in the form of words.You can sit with your spouse.
Just having you near will provide comfort.
Touch your spouse.
Hold his or her hand, squeeze his or her arm, or sit with your arm around his or her shoulders.
Offer hugs and offer to just hold your spouse for as long as he or she needs you to. , Everyone grieves on a different schedule.
Some people may ignore what has occurred and go on about their normal life for awhile after the death, and then one day weeks or months later they start to grieve.
Other people may grieve immediately.
Most people take between one and half to two years to fully grieve.Your spouse may take longer to grieve.
That is okay.
Don’t encourage your spouse to get over it or stop grieving.
Don’t add extra stress on your spouse by making him or her feel like he or she has been grieving for too long.
Let your spouse grieve at his or her own pace.
About the Author
Julie Young
Brings years of experience writing about DIY projects and related subjects.
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